It’s supposed to snow today. I woke up, jumped out of bed, threw back the curtains with a jubilation akin to Christmas morning and saw. . . the same exact damn snow that has been sitting there since Saturday’s snowfall.
What a disappointment!
Okay so secretly, I was hoping I would not have to go to work due to the weather. And yes, I am only working until Friday and then I have two weeks off so why on earth am I crabbing is beyond me. Except that I am SO READY TO NOT WORK for two weeks.
I love snow. How pretty it looks in the streetlights and headlights. The crunch of boots on the walkway outside. The crisp smell of it. How clean and new everything looks. I do not, however, enjoy driving in snow or, worse, on black ice. I live in a very hilly part of town so when the ice cometh, I stayeth. Besides, let’s not forget that I am from the beaches of California where snow was never a part of my reality. I had to drive hours to the snow. So it should come as no surprise that I don’t know anything about wrapping outside faucets in styrofoam (what the? huh?!) or what kind of rock salt to use to de-ice the sidewalk (or if that’s what I am supposed to use even).
Oh, but I am learning! Like on Sunday when I discovered we had no rock salt so I had to go out with a shovel and chip away at the ice on the walkways in front of the apartment building. Saftey first, boys and girls! Because I don’t want anyone to slip and fall like I did during my first-ever Seattle snowfall. Granted, showing my true newbieness, I was wearing a skirt, no stockings, and KITTEN HEELS. To my credit (really?!) the steps at my former apartment were covered in ice and THAT is why I slipped and tore up my leg.
That’s my story and I am sticking to it.
And no, I no longer wear kitten heels out in the snow. I put on my boots and then change into my fashionable shoes at work thankyouverymuch. I also purchased tights for the first time in… um, ever. I think the last time I wore tights I was 12. So that means my Mom purchased them for me. Tights make me not pee as much because HELLO it’s a real pain to take your tights down and put them back up. (Sorry, bladder.) It’s almost as bad as having to pee when you are wearing a wet swimsuit. Think about it. Why do so many people pee in the pool? It’s just easier. Unhygienic? Yes. Time efficient? Totally.
How on earth I went from snow to falling to tights to swimsuits, I have no flippin’ idea. Hey but at least I didn’t tell you about the time when I was really into going commando and my Mom informed me that if I didn’t wear underwear my “vagina would catch a cold.”
Oh right, I kinda just did there.