It’s supposed to snow today. I woke up, jumped out of bed, threw back the curtains with a jubilation akin to Christmas morning and saw. . .Β  the same exact damn snow that has been sitting there since Saturday’s snowfall.

What a disappointment!

Okay so secretly, I was hoping I would not have to go to work due to the weather. And yes, I am only working until Friday and then I have two weeks off so why on earth am I crabbing is beyond me. Except that I am SO READY TO NOT WORK for two weeks.

I love snow. How pretty it looks in the streetlights and headlights. The crunch of boots on the walkway outside. The crisp smell of it. How clean and new everything looks. I do not, however, enjoy driving in snow or, worse, on black ice. I live in a very hilly part of town so when the ice cometh, I stayeth. Besides, let’s not forget that I am from the beaches of California where snow was never a part of my reality. I had to drive hours to the snow. So it should come as no surprise that I don’t know anything about wrapping outside faucets in styrofoam (what the? huh?!) or what kind of rock salt to use to de-ice the sidewalk (or if that’s what I am supposed to use even).

Oh, but I am learning! Like on Sunday when I discovered we had no rock salt so I had to go out with a shovel and chip away at the ice on the walkways in front of the apartment building. Saftey first, boys and girls! Because I don’t want anyone to slip and fall like I did during my first-ever Seattle snowfall. Granted, showing my true newbieness, I was wearing a skirt, no stockings, and KITTEN HEELS. To my credit (really?!) the steps at my former apartment were covered in ice and THAT is why I slipped and tore up my leg.

That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

And no, I no longer wear kitten heels out in the snow. I put on my boots and then change into my fashionable shoes at work thankyouverymuch. I also purchased tights for the first time in… um, ever. I think the last time I wore tights I was 12. So that means my Mom purchased them for me. Tights make me not pee as much because HELLO it’s a real pain to take your tights down and put them back up. (Sorry, bladder.) It’s almost as bad as having to pee when you are wearing a wet swimsuit. Think about it. Why do so many people pee in the pool? It’s just easier. Unhygienic? Yes. Time efficient? Totally.

How on earth I went from snow to falling to tights to swimsuits, I have no flippin’ idea. Hey but at least I didn’t tell you about the time when I was really into going commando and my Mom informed me that if I didn’t wear underwear my “vagina would catch a cold.”

Oh right, I kinda just did there.



38 thoughts on “Weathering

  1. OMFG, a cold! I never knew underwear possessed such awesome qualities!

    Freezing temperatures with nothing to play in has us all a little sad over here, too.

  2. I miss snow. A LOT. It’s as if it’s snowing everywhere except in DC. Jerk weather.

    It’s good I didn’t take my panties off today. I don’t want to catch a cold down there. πŸ˜‰

  3. hahah … I LOVE your Mom. I might start telling my nieces that just for FUN.

    I’m a SoCal girl still and wouldn’t have a CLUE how to survive with snow surrounding my world. I’m sure I’d stay in and blog about it πŸ˜‰

  4. I love tights! They make SUCH a difference when it’s cold.

    Also what I didn’t discover until I moved to New England for college: Scarves. They are your friend.

  5. Best blog line ever…”vagina would catch a cold”

    Love it!

    I feel your pain, it took me 3 and 1/2 hours to get home after work last night. I keep rock salt in my car for parking spots closer to home and I have a shovel to dig my car out.

  6. This could have been my post too minus the part about kitten heels. I love love love snow. I went to bed late counting not coming into work. Well it’s a damn good thing I came to work so I could cut a check to your company. Sweet, I love matching.

  7. I am going to pretend I didn’t read you saying that people pee in the pool. It took me a really long time to get over my thing about pools and now that I swim 2 or 3 times a week, I certainly don’t want to know that it might happen. In my gyms pool, no one pees in it and that is what I am going to continue to believe.

    Your mom sounds really funny!

    And when I wear tights, or even when I am really busy I put off peeing. A lot of days I go almost the entire day and then have to race to the bathroom. Not good for bladders!

  8. When I waited tables, I would wait forever to go pee. Sometimes 10-12 hours, I had the best bladder control ever. I’m hoping this helps when I’m much older and a mere sneeze can cause…umm…unpleasantness.

  9. I’m so thankful that I have a casual dress code at work, so I wear the comfy/warm things like clogs w/wool socks (instead of dress shoes).

    Well, just be sure to give your va-jay-jay some Vit C and you should be okay πŸ™‚

  10. I, too, spent some time last night hoping it would snow like 8 inches just so I wouldn’t have to go to work. Alas, it was merely the same stuff on the ground this morning, too!!

    I regularly wear tights in lieu of long underwear. And just to work. But when I’m going to work, I’m not usually outside for more than five minutes at a time, so if you’re standing around waiting for a bus or something, tights might not cut it in the winter. Tights + Boots = Awesome Winter Wear.

  11. We had a blizzard on Sunday and all day yesterday we had a snowstorm with 8 new inches of brand spanking new snow to drive in. Want some of ours? Funny on the cha-cha cold thing….

  12. It just took me 1.5 hours to travel 6 miles to work because of the “Snow Day” we’re experiencing here in Seattle.

    And now I’m commando at work..although I’m not as worried about my you-know-what ‘catching a cold’ as I am about what I might have caught on that maximum-capacity bus.

  13. I always heard that wet bathing suits cause pimples on the ass. Here to report. It’s true.

    Catching a cold in the nether regions? HA. You’re mom’s a friggin genius.


  14. As a fellow SoCal native (one who’s never left), all that snow prep sounds so time consuming and expensive. Then I remember that I won’t be able to afford a house here till I’m 50, and I spend two hours in my car everyday.

  15. I’ve been hoping for a snow day (or five, let’s be honest) all week. I was very excited about the forecast all night, only to wake up to discover I had to go to work after all. At least I got sent home a little early. Just in time to get within 2 miles of home and start sliding around every time I had to stop/slow down on my street. I couldn’t make it up our hill, so I had to slowly back down in reverse and park at the bottom of the hill. I’m totally hoping for a four-day weekend, no way do I want to drive in this crap tomorrow!

  16. Oh Sizzle you make me laugh! And as someone from Canada- who deals with a ton of snow every winter, I can say, I have no idea about rock salt either. At all.

  17. Your mom is amazing!

    The only heels that are appropriate in the winter are ones that are really, really spikey so you can use them like a mountain climber uses a pick.

  18. Your Mom makes me laugh – a cold in your vagina. Ha!
    We’re getting hit with snow up here every other day it seems and to be honest? The novelty has worn off already….

  19. I don’t even own a pair of pants so I live in tights from Oct to May. You are so right. They do simultaneously make you feel like you have to pee easier and make you try to avoid going because you just don’t want to deal with pulling them off.

    Also, I live in a very wintery area and I live in Ugg boots (when I have them) and somehow I still manage to fall at least once a year. Usually in a busy parking lot in front of cars so I have to awkwardly get back up with an audience. Ugg. I want to move somewhere warm.

  20. Gosh, I don’t log in for a few days and you go from sullen to CHIPPER.

    Serves me right for not logging in for a few days.

    But I’ve done the skirt thing, slid down the mountain in a denim skirt in high school and it was sooo slippery that I couldn’t get back up the hill to change.

    I love snow, too. But it really doesn’t snow here in Maryland and I hate that.

  21. Pingback: Who ordered this White Christmas? You’re in SO MUCH trouble! « Sizzle Says

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