Me First

I want to say thank you to 2008. When I lay out the year before me I can see that there were many blessings, some hiding under what looks like quite a mess but still, it’s there.  The year was ripe with gainful employment and financial stability and challenges to rise to and the love of a good man and family close by and friends, old and new, and travel and laughter and countless learning opportunities. So 2008? Thank you. We had a good run and I wish you the best.

Actually . . . I wish ME the best.

That’s weird for me to say but I need to put it down and be accountable to it. Let me explain. I have been doing a lot of thinking. Over and over in my head I’ve been processing what I want this year’s intention to be. I’ve had a difficult time coming up with one single word. In 2007 I focused on acceptance and in 2008 I was all about gumption. But what will the focus of 2009 be?

One particular situation keeps popping up in my life and I think someone is trying to tell me something. (Hello! Universe! I GET IT.) I’ve basically been really frustrated and disappointed when things have not work out the way I planned. Being an uber planner to the max feeds my controlling/impatient/perfectionist nature. While those qualities might make me a really great event planner, they are totally detrimental to my personal relationships. I get that I will always be working on them, trying to tone them down and get them to behave. I’ve accepted that they are companions on my life journey- sort of like when you’re traveling and get stuck next to some obnoxious person who chews loudly and takes up too much space and then falls asleep snoring. I can’t change seats so I better make the best of it and ride it out. And maybe remember my headphones.

In everything, there is a lesson.

I see that in most of these frustrating situations I’ve made plans with other people’s best interests in mind. My own best interests? They were probably in there somewhere but much farther down the list. I’m all for being generous and supportive and kind but there comes a time when putting everyone else before you becomes detrimental to everyone involved.

Most especially? Me.

It’s not about becoming selfish but about saying I matter. It’s about taking the time to think about me first. What will make me happy? What will bring me joy? What will be beneficial to me? Where am I in all this? That, my friends, is the question (or, er, are the questions). The questions I will be asking myself from here on out.

So here’s to 2009, the year where I listen to my own heart and put myself first. Without apology.

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40 thoughts on “Me First

  1. This is such a hard thing to do for many of us. I’m having to learn (at my advanced age, heh) how to take care of myself first, because somehow I grew up believing to do so was selfish and egocentric. In my head, that became, “I don’t matter.” So I’ve always made sure the last person on the lifeboat was me.

    It’s tough to unlearn lifelong habits. I wish you success with this intention, and will be following your triumphs right here!

  2. Wow. It’s hard to do things that are all about you without feeling selfish and egocentric. But I always feel better when I take the time for myself.
    My goal for this year is to live intentionally. I gloss over so much to get to the next big thing, the next important event, the next, the next…this is turning into what I should be blogging about myself.
    I guess where I was headed is that living intentionally should extend to yourself. Taking care of you is important, and it’s through choice.
    Here’s to 2009!

  3. Good for you Sizzle! This sounds like something that I know I- and so many others I know, could learn from and benefit from. Wishing you all the best this year!

  4. Spoken like a true hero. I’m working on that very same goal for myself in 2009: Me, me and me.

    I find myself resenting the world because I haven’t put myself first and I’m so over it.

    Welcome to a new year, new you!

  5. I need to do this too. I wish it didn’t feel so much easier to take care of everyone else and their best interests than it does to take care of ourselves. You’re absolutely right, it is about saying I matter. And besides, we can’t really take care of anyone or anything else if we aren’t taking care of ourselves first.

  6. Knowing what I know about you, 2009 could be a very challenging year at times … but, man do I have high hopes that you come out better and happier on the other end. You, my dear, deserve it.

  7. Right on. And Happy New Year. One of the best pieces of advice I received last year was “sometimes, you have to ensure you’re looking out for YOU first”. And to be honest, I was a lot happier as a result.

  8. Well said 🙂 Isn’t it strange that we almost feel apologetic for trying to take care of ourselves first? It should be the norm, right (or at least to some extent)?

  9. i swear to god. you are ALWAYS reading my mind.
    STOP IT NOW.
    well, not really. teehee.
    my intention for 2009? take care of me.
    XO in big ways
    see you soon!

    i love you
    jenny

  10. The whole “you can’t control them” thing is to actually accept… I think at the end of the day we are fixers. Thing is some people just won’t be fixed. Go figure.

    All to say I hear you on the putting yourself first … it’s a good plan. The execution is a bit brutal at times. 🙂

  11. I’ve been reading you for a couple years now, and I have a hunch this could be a very difficult goal to achieve. Then again, aren’t all things worth having?

    Have a wonderful 2009, Sizzle.

  12. That is great Sizzle. If you are not true to you, what you do for others does not really help, if you know what I mean. Happy New Year!

  13. The word “selfish” has a bad rap. Some of our greatest thinkers theorize that looking out for our own best interest is the best way to improve our existence as a society as well as individuals. But as women we are taught to put our needs and desires aside. Good for you for recognizing you aren’t doing yourself or anyone else any favors for putting the needs of others before your own!

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