You’re SO Like That

I do not like being late. I don’t like making people wait. Hell, I get mildly panicked when I am taking too long in line when ordering a latte. It’s rather illogical and insane, the lengths I go to to not trouble people. I’m trying to not be such a spazmatron but look, it’s a hard habit to break. I’ve known plenty of people who are predictably late. It’s like my on timeness was some magnetic pull towards the chronically late.

I had a best friend that was so notoriously tardy I would give her arrival times that were thirty minutes to an hour before the actual time I hoped she’d arrive. Because then she’d actually be on time.

I’ve met her polar opposite. And her name is Kaply.

Kaply is ALWAYS EARLY. Annoyingly early. We’ll agree on a time to meet up and she will invariably be there before I arrive. I’ll text her that I am on my way and she’ll text back, “Great! I’m at the table by the window.” Oh fuck you, Kaply.

I was totally going to be right on time but now I feel like I am late. I am not late but I FEEL late. I hate feeling late. So then I scramble to get there and on the way I have to talk myself down from an OCD People Pleasing Psychotic Break. By the time I show up, I’ve probably got it 85% under control. I won’t mention it. I’m easy. I’m breezy.

I’m not fooling anyone but myself. I’m probably the most transparent person you’ll ever meet.

So Friday night Kaply and I agreed to meet up 6:30pm. I had my plan all worked out. I would leave my house at 6:00pm, allowing plenty of time to snag a table and get comfortable before she arrived.

I show up around 6:15pm, get a table, order a beer and text the Fella to gloat that I had FINALLY beaten her. Time ticked on. I ate some chips. I drank some beer. It was a couple minutes after 6:30 when I texted her. “I beat you!” I typed, hitting send with a boastful smile on my face. A second later I hear a voice to my right, “No you didn’t.”

Well fuck me.

She had been there before me, seated at a different table. We were at the same restaurant for 20 minutes without knowing it.

She moves her stuff over to my table and I let her have it.ย  I swore at her and maybe referred to her as a bitch. But I started it all off with, “I love you but” which should let me off the hook a little bit. Good thing Kaply is the type of friend I can go off on and still have her want to sit through dinner with me. These are the kinds of friends we all need. Friends who push our buttons but still love us when we go all neurotic crazy on them. Friends who make us laugh at what a nutjob we can be.

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26 thoughts on “You’re SO Like That

  1. That’s the only kind of friends I can keep – ones who can laugh with me about what a nutjob I am. The others all run away screaming! ;o)

  2. God, my friend Jewel showed up at my house 20 minutes early from our agreed pick up time. I was in my undies…

    Note she hasn’t invited me back out to lunch.

  3. Those kinds of friends are the true definition of “friend.” If you can’t push buttons, get angry and talk it out with a friend, who can you do that with? Kaply sounds like a great lady!

  4. I’m like Kaply. In fact, tardiness is one of my pet peeves. I hate when people are late. I’m not totally rigid though, they can be late anywhere from 1-15 minutes but anything after that annoys me, unless they call me to tell me they are running late. I’m always either a few minutes early, or right on time. Well, except for work :o)

    It’s great to have friends that can laugh with you at yourself. Those friends are hard to find, keep ’em close!

  5. God, I hate to admit it but I am habitually early. I cannot help it everyone in my family was always late and it pissed me off.

    The quality to make us laugh at our nut job selves is a definite must in any friendship!

  6. I’m early so no one has to wait on me (hello, codependent), but it never bothers me that people are late. One of my bf’s, Joni, is usually running late, and she’s trained me not to care. Sizzle, I’d wait for you any day. : )

  7. Hubby and I have a couple that we go out with quite often. They are notoriously late (usually 15-20 minutes) and always call on the cell phone to tell us that they got caught in traffic, had to make a quick stop, yada, yada, yada.
    The other night we were meeting them and were running a tad behind (seriously, like 5 minutes a the most of when we planned to leave). We were on the road and got a phone call from them asking us where in the hell we were because they were waiting at the ticket counter for us. FIRST TIME EVER for us to be the late ones, and they had to gripe about it???? I about came unglued on them and challenged them to cage wrestling. However, after a few beers we were able to laugh it off…although I do think I called one of them a wanker.

  8. Dude, and I could tell that you were pissed, but it was all I could do not to laugh. I couldn’t even meet your eyes for a minute, for fear that my laughter would send you over the edge.

    I ♥ you, dude.

  9. Yes, that is a good friend. You are fortunate that you can be so open with her and still remain friends. We could all stand to have more friends like that.

  10. Sizzle, sometimes I swear we are twins :-).
    I would kill that Kaply person, but at the same time she is nice to let you go off and still be there.

  11. I have exactly the same anxiety about being late/inconveniencing people that you have. And it really is about thinking people will be put out by your perceived rudeness. I have a couple of friends that are almost always late and I have never held it against them, so I’m not sure why I’m so convinced others wouldn’t afford me the same consideration.

  12. “Itโ€™s like my on timeness was some magnetic pull towards the chronically late.” That could very well describe most of my friendships.
    I also have a chronically early friend, but I’m convinced that’s just so he can get a head start on drinking.

  13. I’m like you, always stressed out at being late or taking too long or annoying people in line behind me. Plus you mighta been there before her, she could’ve just been covering her on-timeness ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Man, this reminds me of my entire immediate family. They are early for EVERYTHING.

    If there’s one thing more annoying than someone who is always late, it’s someone who is perpetually early.

  15. Pingback: An Unexpected Good-bye | Sizzle Says

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