Something Stinks

I bought one of those hands free devices for my cell phone and you know what? IT DOESN’T FIT IN MY EAR. This means one of two things. One: My ear is deformed. Which, it is, in all honesty. But it’s the top of the ear that’s sort of flattened and misshapen so that can’t be the culprit. Or two: The device sucks hairy stinky donkey balls. And since option one is pretty much ruled out, I’m going with option two.

This is what a girl gets for trying to obey the law.

Another thing I am monumentally disappointed with right now is Cover Girl LipSlicks. I thought it would be good. It’s like a chapstick meets a lipstick and yet it . . . smells weird. It smells OLD. I can’t stand having it on my lips because my lips are very close to my nose and the smell wafts. THERE IS WAFTING. Was it just my dumb luck to buy the one old lipslick at the drug store?

So I used it twice and then threw it out.

While I’m being random and complainy, I just want someone to tell me if I’m supposed to be using eye cream or night cream. Do those products really DO anything or is it just a ploy to get me to buy more unnecessary shit in an effort to stay young looking and toil in vain to acquire unattainable beauty?

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53 thoughts on “Something Stinks

  1. I just starting using Roc night cream and I really think it is working my skin does seem to be better. I also use a eye cream as well and love it as well if anything my eyes are not puffy in the am!!

    I too hate those DAMN ear pieces I have tried a couple and cannot get one that fits properly – It is a conspiracy I am convinced.

  2. I use eye cream from Philosophy, and I swear it works. But I don’t get much more into the special potions and what not.
    Can I complain too? Chronic throat clearers REALLY annoy me.
    Thanks, that feels better.

  3. I hate uncomfortable ear thingies. The ones that came with my iPod annoyed the crap out of me. I mean, I paid this much for a music player and you give me THE WORLD’S CRAPPIEST EARBUDS?

    I use Bobbi Brown Eye Creme and use it also on my forehead wrinkles. I think it works except for the days where I wake up super-puffy. I want to switch to Kinerase because it’s WAAAAY expensive, thus I think it will work better, but those Regeneris commercials ALMOST have me convinced that they work better than the expensive brands. I think if there was a cream with magical spooge of an extinct animal, someone could convince me to buy it. I AM THAT EASILY DUPED.

    Also? My goshdarn ELBOW HURTS.

  4. I’m glad you told me about the covergirl stuff. I was just going to try that!

    I don’t use any eye cream…but maybe I should? I always feel like I can’t be old enough to need that stuff, but I probably am!

  5. Those ear thingys suck. They hurt my ears. Though I am worried that I am going to get a ticket for talking on my cell. I hate when people at work walk around with them in their ears and start talking when they walk up to you and you answer and they look at you like what the fuck I’m not talking to you. That shit irritates me. Eye cream, night cream, moisturizer, who knows? Paula Begoun, the one who writes don’t go buy makeup without me kind of stuff, says that eye cream is a scam. But I know that I have used stuff that made my eyes look way less puffy, now if I could just figure out what it was.
    I hate super sticky lip gloss. I love my aveda chapstick meets lipstick stuff, though it doesn’t have much color.

  6. To answer your question – Yes, eye cream is great for stopping damage before it starts. The under eye area is delicate and benefits greatly from eye cream. But you don’t really need a very expensive one if you are starting with good skin. If you are trying to “fix” wrinkles, bags, puffiness then bring out the expensive products.

  7. Hey girl–
    I hate those earbud things with the ipod, but daughter has adjusted…so maybe it’s me. Haven’t tried a new phone thingee, so I can’t say, but I DOUBT it would be any better. Just sayin’.

    Also, regarding face cream– I have all sorts that I have been given to try, and most of it melts(invisibly!) and goes into my eyes…and what a treat THAT is, lemmee tell you. Makes me very reluctant to put anything on, because of it.:-/
    However, my sister has used Oil of Olay for years, and likes it. Whether it has done her any good is neglible. I think causal factors apply, like sun and smiling/frowning and genetics…JMO.

  8. Yet another perk of Oregon: no hands free law! Yet, anyway.

    To maximize my freedom I like to chew gum, paint my nails, take pictures out the window, AND talk on my cell phone all at once. I’m such a good multi-tasker.

  9. I do the night cream thing and I have no idea if it works, it just makes my face feel nice before I go to sleep and I’ve done it for so long it’s a habit now! I don’t think you need to spend a lot though, I think any lotion will moisturise, it’s just a case of remembering to put it on!

  10. I started using Aveda night cream and eye cream and after about a month I started getting tons of compliments on my skin. So, maybe it works? I thought I could see a difference too but maybe it was all in my head.

    Also, I used to love my LipSlicks, but I’m over it now. You’re right that they smell kind of weird. But I loved how subtle the color was.

  11. Dude, I LOVE the CG LipSlicks. I don’t think it smells bad at all. I have 3 different colors of that stuff in my purse right now.

    Of course I am also the girl who wears Original scent Chap Stick. I love the smell of that one too.

    And ear bud things never work in my ear either. I have to use real headphones when listening to music. I did just buy a bluetooth off of woot.com two days ago (for $3.99 holla!) and so I hope it works for me.

  12. Wish ou’d thrown your LipSlicks my way – I’m almost out of my THREE.

    And it’s always the horn’s fault. Therfore, your ear canNOT be deformed.

  13. I use Olay products – eye serum and lotions for day and night. I’ve been doing it for a few years now (have tried other products in between), and as a 34-year-old whose age is usually guessed at 26 – I say they work.

  14. Ladies, ladies. Take it from someone who is creeping (rather quickly) towards being really damned old — the time to use the eye cream is before you think you need it. Trust me! And keeping it in the fridge is great for “puffy mornings.”

    Nail clippage. Bugs the hell out of me. As do any type of ear buds, etc.

  15. I know what you mean about the earphone devices. I had one that was better but it disappeared in my car, and now I have another one that kind of sucks.

    I think the eye cream is a good idea, I should use it too.

    And I’m with you on the bad smelling lip stuff, ew.

  16. I’ve been wondering the same thing about the creams. I got a little tube at Xmas in a pack of make up, so I’m trying it out to see if it makes a difference.

    I wear the kind of lipstick that you paint on and then put gloss over — there’s something that skeeves me about leaving lip imprints on my diet pepsi cans or cups and food — and then continuing to eat/drink it.

    I can never get ear things to feel normal in my ear.

  17. 1) No ear devices ever work for me. I’ve never been able to listen to headphones. Ever.

    2) You may not notice a difference right away using eye cream, but you’ll thank yourself for using it 20 years from now.

    3) Night cream is even more important than eye cream. Your face has ALL NIGHT (or those four or five hours you sleep!) to soak in the moisture from the cream. Your face needs a break from the SPF and this is a good time to give it that break. Again, I didn’t notice a different RIGHT AWAY, but ten years later my skin isn’t nearly as damaged as it could be…

  18. Btw, not sure if you’re interested, but I usually put an underlayer of Burt’s Bees on (it doesn’t have the buildup a lot of other chapsticks do and it’s non-addictive) and then some of the shiny gloss when I wear lipstick. Though I don’t very often, after reading that most of the major manufacturers in the US put more lead in their lipsticks than are in all the children’s toys that are pulled every year…

  19. Oh, I’m annoyed, too. I hate that my new blouse needs altering, but I don’t have a good tailor. I wish my coworker would shut up about her disgusting bodily functions, even though I feel bad because it is her second day back after being bedridden from a horrific accident. And I am annoyed that I cannot find a decent mascara.

    Wow, I feel a lot better.

  20. 1. Earbuds don’t fit me…EVER. They fall out.

    2. Bonne Belle is still the best.

    3. Eye cream absorbs into the skin more than regular cream, that gets washed away easily.

  21. My 2 cents:
    I use the Neutrogena Moistureshine lipstick as my daily. It’s like a chapstick mixed with lipstick, and it keeps my lips from getting chapped while providing a sweet amount of color – love it! I use Ruby Bliss pretty much exclusively. It’s SPF 15 or 30, too…I can’t remember which.

    And I’ve also started using a night cream and under-eye treatment daily as well. Night cream is the Neutrogena Ani-Oxidant Age Reverse Night Cream. I might be crazy, but I think it’s working better than any other I’ve tried in the past. I have melasma on my face, so using something to help minimize the appearance of my “age spots” has been key for me over the past 5 years. This is the best thus far.

    My eyes have become increasingly baggy over time as well, and I’ve found two products I really like for that, both available through Sephora. I use Skyn Iceland Icelandic Relief Eyecream at night and every other morning. On the alternating mornings, I use Bliss Baggage Handler, which is a gel instead of a cream. I bought them both around the same time, which is the reason for the alternating. But I’ll probably stick with the Skyn after I run out of the Bliss product.

  22. 1) I love my headset because it came with several earpieces to choose from. I have a strange ear too, in addition, I only seem to be able to use my left ear (don’t ask, I have no idea). My headset is the Samsung wep301, $19. Get it, you’ll love it!
    2)The cover girl lip slicks have smelled funny for as long as I can remember. Burts Bees is your answer and they sell them at Rainbow Market by Victrola for about $5. Test on your wrist first, the colors are not so true to the sample.
    3) I know that when I remember to actually apply the eye cream, my eyes *do* look better the next day. Placebo? Perhaps. But it encourages me to try to remember more often.

  23. I have some Oil of Old Lady night cream that I use all day for the eczema dry spots around my eyes and I really like it. I’ve only been using it about a month, but it is pretty moisturizing without being too oily and it has definitely decreased the puffiness for my eczema wrinkles. I also don’t wear make-up on a regular basis and NEVER wear face make-up, like foundation, etc. so that could be why it works well for me?

  24. I use my regular moistorizer at night at my night cream. I am planning on starting using eye cream just in case but I have heard that eye cream can work with your lips as well so it is a two for one.

    I am having the same reaction to the new lip moisture blistix product. The products smells too strange. It worked when my lips were really chapped but the scent was too much for me.

  25. I hate the ear things for the cell phones. Never have had any luck. Good thing it’s not required in my state (yet). I don’t use eye cream and probably should since I’m 42, but I’m lazy. I don’t blame you for throwing away the old smelling lip stuff. I’m obsessed with the Burt’s Bees chapstick…smells so good!

  26. I’ve got a Motorola Bluetooth device that’s not too bad. The quality is alright, but it’s nice and convienent and not too expensive at $60. I can’t be bothered with wearing one of those headsets while driving. I have funny ears too.

  27. Every “advice from a dermatologist” article I’ve read says: Wash your face, moisturize, and use sunscreen. Any other product or procedure is just the work of The Man, who is definitely a man.

  28. You don’t need those night creams. I use aloe vera lotions works better and cost way less.

    If you got the lipstick at CVS they will take it back. Do you have CVS?

    And thanks for thinking my dress is cute. I hope I don’t freeze in it. It is -5 in Iowa (where I will be wearing it) today. YIKES!!!

  29. My ears are deformed too. I bought these cool little earphones for my ipod that hook over the back of my ears (so that when I’m jogging, like, once every two months they dont fall off) and they’re horrible! Something is really wrong with my ears… the stupid ear buds sit crooked and make my ears jut out. Like an elf. Only NOT cute..

    I was thinking about switching to wordpress or typepad… and noticed you did that a while back. Any words of wisdom there?

  30. Yeah WTF, mate?
    I have watched all those commercials for the toning and age defying creams..do I need to start using it for my face?
    I know that you should always wear facial lotion with SPF 15….which I do, but other than that????

  31. I assume you bought it online? Weird that it doesn’t come with multiple attachments for different ear sizes. Seems all the ones I see have the little covers.

  32. Don’t know if the products actually work or not…but I’m such a sucker for anything that claims it’s going to rejuvenate my skin and make me appear YEARS younger (I’m 42…nothing is going to take me back to my 20s). I’ve got night cream, eye cream, daycream, exfoliator, masque, toning spray, gentle cleanser, and something called ‘skin firming supplement’. In short, I’ve got a cabinet full of skin shit…and if I don’t look 35 when I’m actually 60, then some heads are going to roll.

  33. My make-up lady from my wedding swears by eye cream and night cream (you’re not supposed to put regular moisturizer around your eyes, so she says). So, yes, get the two! And ummm, I have always had problems with head phones and ear pieces and the like … they never seem to fit properly in my ears. Boo!

  34. I can’t find a blue tooth headset that fits in my ear. AT ALL. Apparently it is my ear holes, not the hands-free devices I would like to blame. But ipod ear buds don’t fit in my ear either. So defective ears I have.

    I like the Neutrogena Anti-Aging stuffs and the Olay Reginerist line and they are suppoesd to be really good, even in comparison to the expensive ones. I say try something from the drug store before you lay down the big bucks. I figured out the hard way that I should see if I can get in the habit of using a product before I lay down the money. Also, I found products that worked for less that way too!

  35. I’m not sure if I have ever commented here before and this is really strange way to start but I actually used the phrase “sucks donkey balls” today out of nowhere and I have NEVER said that before. My exact words were “winter sucks donkey balls”. It really does, you know.

  36. Cover Girl Lipslicks are sucky. They DO smell bad. BUT! The AmazeMint glosses are totally made of awesome. LOVE THEM!

  37. My derm told me that night was a time for your skin to be free of products so that it can breath, regenerate, etc. But if I really wanted to put something on it, use one with a retinol in it. (I heard the Roc one is good…) My brother swears by the Dr. Wexler eye serum at Bath and Bodyworks; I heart the Skyn Iceland one that Faith mentioned, mostly for temporary firming in the morning.
    I think you got a bad LipSlick – I have three of them and none of them smell odd…
    Can’t they make phone earpieces that cover our ear like the dj headset ones? Ok, we’d look moronic, but they wouldn’t fall out of our ears…

  38. Don’t worry, my ears are deformed or something as well. I can never seem to keep those buds of any shape or size in my ear for any amount of time. Even though we’re handsfree and all that, I still have to use hand to hold my earpiece into my ear.

  39. I adore Weleda’s Everon lip balm — it’s $4.99 at Whole Foods, and totally worth the price. It’s got a really nice subtle rose/vanilla (I know some people don’t like vanilla, but this is honestly very nice).

  40. Advice from One Who Knows: START NOW. If you wait until you KNOW you need it, there will be aging damage done already.

    I swear by Clinique All About Eyes. It is worth my weight in gold. I can actually see a difference a few minutes after applying it. The days I don’t use it, someone always says I look tired. Plus, it holds your eye makeup on better.

    I’ve recently discovered the joy of Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmers. They feel wonderful and add a nice touch of color. The Rhubarb makes my lips exactly the shade they were when I was 20.

    I also love Avon’s new anti-aging lipsticks (I can’t remember what they’re called). An Avon lady could give you some little sample tubes to try out.

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