Here’s what gets me through most days: The basic understanding that not everyone has received the Book of Sizzle and even if they have, most of them have not bothered to read it.
See, most of us operate under the assumption that there is a “common courtesy code.” But there is no such a thing as “common.” Forget common. Once you let go that such a concept exists, I promise you will not be as constantly disappointed in other people as you might be right now. You might think you know how everyone should behave because it’s just “common sense” but your version of common sense is not the same as other people. This does not make you wrong. No. But it also does not make you right.
Let me tell it to you this way. . . you know how sometimes you get cut off on the road by some driver and you immediately let out a slew of expletives indicating what they should do (go fuck themselves) and what their mother should have named them (Douchecanoe or Mr. Fuckface) and then you flip the bird and assume their slight was intentional. They MEANT to be an asshole. To you! How dare they!? So you stew in your anger and righteous indignation and it puts you in a bad mood. And it’s totally their fault!
But maybe. . .work with me on this. . .they didn’t mean it? Maybe they are late to meet someone for a job interview and they’ve been unemployed for 5 months so a lot is riding on it. Maybe they don’t feel well and their baby was up all night screaming with the coup. Maybe they are distracted because their mom is in the hospital. I seriously think about all these what ifs and my heart softens. Because I have NO IDEA where they are at, just like they don’t know where I am at. That’s the place I come from. Even if I let the road rage spew out or I feel angry, I still think that they probably didn’t mean it. So I give them the benefit of the doubt and move on.
Let’s take a collective deep breath.
Of course there are plenty of fellow humans who are assholes and cultivate their assholeness on purpose. Forget them. They are not worth the bother. Because if you let them get to you, all you are doing is riling yourself up in these situations. There is no “teaching” another person a lesson, especially a stranger. I don’t care how good it might feel momentarily to rip them a new one, you’ll be the one still stewing in your bad feelings minutes, hours, days, years later. Go to your higher self. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Move on from it.
Let it go.
I’ve had numerous conversations with friends about this concept. I get that not everyone is going to buy into it. We’re conditioned to assume the worst in people. It takes diligent practice not to do that. And really, when you examine it, it’s a rather self-serving mindset because when you think in these terms very few people or situations can really ever best you. Bonus!
As a controlling person, I struggle with this because I want people to operate under my will. I want people to stop making possible things impossible. I want people to behave in a manner that I see as fitting. But don’t you see? I can want that stuff but I will be disappointed 98% of the time. So I turn the tables on my demanding ego. And I swear, I feel better about life and myself and the human race for doing so.