Don’t Mind Me

This is how the Universe operates:

I’m days away from my first MAJOR fundraiser in my new position, up to my eyeballs in details, organizing over 800 guests and hopinghopinghoping to reach goal ($500,000). My sleep is filled with what ifs- fitful and lacking rejuvenation. It’s crunch time. The frenzy of planning an event of this magnitude is at its peak and I both relish and loathe it. I’m working 10+ hours and weekends. So of course, one of my tenants gives notice.

Because that is the way of the Universe. Just when you think you can’t take much more, more comes. So you can prove to yourself that you can do it without total collapse.

I’ve joked that the qualities that serve me well in my line of work are actually a detriment to my personal relationships. Seeing the big picture, planning for every what if, anticipating what could go wrong or what guests might need, playing out scenarios and resolutions just in case- all of that is good at work. But when I act that way in my relationships, well, um, I think you can put two and two together and make four.

I thrive in the midst of all these things to do and complete and accomplish. I feel useful and invigorated and purposeful. We already know I don’t do idle very well. And I’ll admit, the busy-ness keeps my mind off some of my neurotic bullshit I don’t feel much like dealing with presently. Avoidance thy name is work!

It’s these kinds of weeks that make me question my sanity.

But, like,  in a good way.

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32 thoughts on “Don’t Mind Me

  1. good luck, good luck, good luck! i hope that the fundraiser goes well … and that you enjoy a moment of sanity afterwards. we have had a couple of great days here for upcoming events and campaigns … i send some of my good juju your way!

  2. I really hope your fundraiser turns out to be amazing!

    I was going a little crazy when I was directing the play, but I was feeling so accomplished. I had things to do and I did feel invigorated. Afterwords I really missed it.

  3. It’s like some odd rule of the universe: when you’ve got loads to do let’s throw some more your way! Not cool at all. Hope everything works out super well though!

  4. Your description of nearly-neurotic busyness reminds me a lot of Granny, perhaps for a lot of the same reasons. For me, though, instead of busyness, I have beer. And Xbox.

  5. We are so much alike in the busy busy busy is best mentality. I can’t stand to NOT be doing something, even when I should take a moment (or twenty) to pause, to breathe, to self-reflect. Idle hands make me mostly crazy, so the times when work (and life in general) are the craziest is when I seem to thrive most. Survival of the busiest. Or something.

  6. I went through a stage where I would think every relationship through from start to end before I even asked the girl out. I’d come up with all the reasons “we” just wouldn’t work so why even start.

    I refer to that stage as my thirties.

  7. I love how a super busy day leaves me exhausted, but strangely pumped at the same time. Just make sure you get the rest you deserve when it’s all over!

    I think this is a good quality to have 🙂

  8. I like it a bit busy on the nutty side. I’m of the opinion that you don’t where the line of too much is, until you’ve crossed it…

  9. The end of this post totally reminded me of an Angela-ish revelation from My So Called Life. That last line totally made me picture you as Angela all introspective and in her head….loved it.

  10. Ted and I were just talking about that tonight b/c we came back to our car to find one of the tires flat (I apparently ran over a screw in one of the many construction areas between my place and downtown) and now is not the best time to have to buy a new tire. Grrr… Enough about me (it just happened so we’re still pissy), I hope you’re able to reach your fundraising goal this week!

  11. Hope it all goes well!

    I’m like you – I thrive in intense work, and have a love/hate relationship with that characteristic of mine.

  12. I know the Universe never gives us more than we can handle and we grow from each experience, but I often beg for a plateau. Just for a little bit? I still want to grow, but maybe I can just NOT grow AT ALL for one week? Please Universe?

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