This is how the Universe operates:
I’m days away from my first MAJOR fundraiser in my new position, up to my eyeballs in details, organizing over 800 guests and hopinghopinghoping to reach goal ($500,000). My sleep is filled with what ifs- fitful and lacking rejuvenation. It’s crunch time. The frenzy of planning an event of this magnitude is at its peak and I both relish and loathe it. I’m working 10+ hours and weekends. So of course, one of my tenants gives notice.
Because that is the way of the Universe. Just when you think you can’t take much more, more comes. So you can prove to yourself that you can do it without total collapse.
I’ve joked that the qualities that serve me well in my line of work are actually a detriment to my personal relationships. Seeing the big picture, planning for every what if, anticipating what could go wrong or what guests might need, playing out scenarios and resolutions just in case- all of that is good at work. But when I act that way in my relationships, well, um, I think you can put two and two together and make four.
I thrive in the midst of all these things to do and complete and accomplish. I feel useful and invigorated and purposeful. We already know I don’t do idle very well. And I’ll admit, the busy-ness keeps my mind off some of my neurotic bullshit I don’t feel much like dealing with presently. Avoidance thy name is work!
It’s these kinds of weeks that make me question my sanity.
But, like, in a good way.