Happy Day Is On Its Way

I found myself preoccupied this weekend. In between all the things I did to keep myself busy these thoughts would still find their way into my brain. Two tenants moving out and two couples moving in all the while showing the open unit should have kept my mind occupied. But noooo. Refinishing chairs, reading a book, going to an art show and dinner, running errands and brunch with my family- I tried my best to distract myself but none of it worked.

I think this kind of preoccupation is also referred to as “fixation” in certain circles.

Ahem.

These thoughts tumbled around like mismatched socks in a dryer on high heat. Around and around and around they went. My obsession with them grew as the weekend rolled on to the point where I broke. Enough! I forced myself to sit down and right each one of them out on a slip of paper, fold them gently, and place them in a box. My surrender box.

This is the box where I put all my worries andย  needs. The desires and fears that I get fixated on. The dreams I want to come true. (Now!) By writing them down and slipping them in the box, I gave myself permission to let them go. Not give up on them. Oh no! But give them up to the Universe because try as I might I cannot control everything. I can’t boss the world around.

Sometimes I have to give someone else a chance to do the work. Because as I am learning (slowly) everything is not mine to fix or make right.

Sometimes I have to let a thing go so it can make its way back to me.In its own time. In its own way.

And once I’d tucked them away? I felt lighter than I had in days. So I put on some music and I danced around my apartment. And across my face broke a truer smile than I’d smiled in days because I knew-ย  everything was going to be okay.

“Time has told me/You’re a rare rare find/A troubled cure/For a troubled mind./And time has told me/Not to ask for more/For some day our ocean/Will find its shore.” -Time Has Told Me, Nick Drake

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38 thoughts on “Happy Day Is On Its Way

  1. This is one of the reasons I love your blog. I love hearing about you surrendering your worry and dancing around your house. It’s like the very best episodes of Mary Tyler Moore, and how they make you feel, only YOU are a REAL person and stuff!

  2. There’s nothing like a good twirl around one’s home to make you feel a little better. I hope your stresses and worries ease and more happy times are just around the corner.

  3. You can’t boss the world around? Shit. That means I can’t either ๐Ÿ™‚

    “Everything is not mine to fix.” I’ve known this for a long time, but funny how my actions don’t manifest as if I believe it. The surrender box is a great idea for reinforcement. I’m going to give it a try.

  4. It’s amazing what a little naked dancing around your abode can do for the spirit. Oh, you didn’t say you were naked, but yeah… dancing wildly is good for the mind especially when it induces smiles.

  5. I know exactly what you mean. That’s what I’ve been doing for a few weeks now, keeping busy to keep myself distracted. Usually it works for me, until I stop being busy. I really admire you for not only giving yourself a surrender box, but being able to truly let go of what you put in there. I hope you remember during the times you feel weak that you really are stronger than you know!

  6. I love the idea of a surrender box. I would definitely benefit from one, more specifically my ability to get a solid night’s sleep would benefit. I’m going to have to put some thought into this…

    On a related note, wouldn’t life be so much easier if we COULD boss the world around?!

  7. I like the surrender box. And I am really glad it helped you. Sometimes I need to hit upside the head and reminded that I can’t control everything.

  8. I just started my own Surrender Box after reading that particular Daily Om. Such a great idea…now must work on ACTUALLY letting it go after it goes into the box.

    I’m finding out that in some cases? Easier said than done. ;o)

  9. I am a visitor to your blog. . . and really like what I have been reading. . I’m going through some similar situations, and its nice to get someone elses take on that kind of situation. . .

    I have a question tho– while the “surrender box” sounds awesome. . .how do you *really* let go of that which preoccupies your mind? Its just hard to imagine that simple thing actually easing your mind. (though it truly sounds awesome if I can get it to work for me!)

    I am truly glad to hear you are feeling better!

  10. I love my “Universe” box same as your Surrender box. We made them at a women’s retreat and you speak the truth. Once something has truly been given over to the Universe, you do feel lighter. I think everyone should have one of these boxes, perhaps this is a business opportunity?

  11. Good for you for letting it go, and it worked! This gives me hope. I haven’t used mine yet, but I already have my box. It’s strange, as soon as I got it I seem to have stopped fixating on thoughts and haven’t had anything pressing to put into it. Yet, knowing me I’ll have something soon.

  12. Surrender box…hmmm…Is that like a “fuckit bucket”? ‘Cause I have one of those. The surrender box sounds more like where I keep my gimp.

  13. I really like the idea of that box and I’m glad it seems to be working for you. Shame you didn’t have a camera to capture the smile. Would’ve been nice to see.

  14. I love the idea of a surrender box, I wish I knew about it years ago. but it is not too late to try it out.

    I am glad that it helped you and that you are slowly healing. It is a step in the right direction.

  15. Who can turn the world on with her smile?
    Reading your blog always makes me feel better – you’re very thoughtful. I signed up for those Notes form the Universe because of you and I might have to adopt the Surrender Box, as well. Good stuff.

  16. In one way or another, I’m pretty sure most of us could use that surrender box. I think my new motto is Remember to Surrender should there ever be issues I just can’t resolve. Thanks for sharing this!

  17. This gave me goosebumps. I love the image of you celebrating your surrender with a dance around your apartment. Good for you for taking care of yourself. That should definitely be your #1 priority right now.

    And I LOVE the idea of a surrender box. I may have to rip that one off.

  18. A surrender box? That’s brilliant!

    I shall now blatantly steal your idea and use it for my own means. :o)

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