After successfully renting three open units in the past six weeks I was kind of hoping for a reprieve. I even went so far as to declare aloud to the Universe that No! No one would be giving notice this month. Absolutely not! because I have a trip to California planned for my birthday and nothing AND I MEAN NOTHING is standing in the way between me and the beach and some goddamned vitamin D. I am going stark-raving mad up in this soggy grayness.
So of course, someone gave notice.
Unfortunately, it’s not the best unit in the building so I’ll really have to put on my best sell. Ground level, carpeted, junior one bedroom near the mailboxes and side entrance does not Oh La La Fancy make. Chicks don’t want to live on the ground floor and I don’t blame them so that means I’ll have to pull out the cleavage for the guys. (Kidding. Kind of.) I have 15 days to get it rented before I head to out on vacation. Should we place bets on how many days it will take?
When I have open units to show that basically means that all my free time is devoted to meeting potential tenants or cleaning. Guess what I will be doing Sunday? Add to that the fact that I have a whole other list of to dos including:
- measure and order mini blinds for six units (I hate measuring things because math makes me anxious.)
- deal with the pot smoking issue again(!) (because Smell Lady was at my door at 11pm on a Wednesday and then followed it up with a phone call BECAUSE SHE IS THE BUILDING HALL MONITOR APPARENTLY) (Do you think she’d eat a pot brownie if I accidentally left one for her?!)
- complete all new tenant files and ensure former tenants have received their security deposits back
- replace a broken toilet seat (I’m handy!)
- install a sliding lock on the balcony door (so that when it is windy the glass door does not slam into the wall where my bed happens to be – hello, that’s loud!)
- change burned out light bulbs in the hallways (I hate heights and being up on a ladder- Hold me!)
- sweep the stoops and pick up cigarette butts (Gag! I think cigarette butt clean up should be used as a form of torture against very bad people.)
- clean the laundry room (because apparently very few people know how to clean the lint screens in the dryers- WTF.)
- vacuum four floors of the building (MY FAVORITE)
The upswing is- I’ve factored in some serious funness in the weekend.
- Haircut & Color (fastest way to make a girl feel pretty)
- Ten Grands Concert with Kaply (free tickets = woo!)
- Water Aerobics (or as I like to call it: hot pink suit action)
- Finishing recovering chairs (photos forthcoming because I GOT MY NEW CAMERA)
- Wishful Drinking (Carrie Fisher!) & dinner with my Mom (The tickets were my Christmas gift to her.)
- Dinner at my sister’s house (my sister!)
I guess it’s fairly obvious that I don’t do idle very well.
P.S. I like parenthesis today.
Ok, ok. I like parentheses EVERY day. You got me.