Stop. Focus.

I had an entirely different post planned for today and then I went to delete my blog spam comments and found this:

“Please love yourself, because in you loving yourself you eventually will be loved.”

Who knew spam was so wise?

Gone is the snarky post that came out of an angry place inside me. It was beneath me anyhow. Sometimes people prove you right and it sucks.  I’ve been trying to swallow the truth that what happened/is happening doesn’t reflect on ME but rather on other people. I do not have to make it mine. I do not want it.

So I’m leaving it right where I found it and taking off for higher ground.

Because I know that there is someone out there who, when he says he loves me, will actually act like it. In the meantime, I’m going to focus on the good in my life:

My family. My sister’s throw-back-her-head laugh. My brother-in-law’s keen intelligence. My nephews blossoming personality and sense of humor. My Mom’s steadiness. My friends. Jenny Two Times’s unflinching loyalty and willing ear. Supple’s protectiveness and potty humor. Mikey’s biting wit and tender heart. Derro’s unflappable optimism. Bird’s abundant love. RaeRae’s ability to make me laugh. Tomato’s knowing. RayLo’s holding up the mirror. Kaply’s wisdom. My blog friends, so many whom I have never met in person, who show up over and over again to make me believe in the good in people. Two steady, great jobs that I actually enjoy (except the vacuuming). The smell of chlorine on my skin. My health. A big cup of tea. My awesome apartment. My cats. Spring. Flowers and trees blooming. Living in a fantastic city. Traveling to California. An adorable beach house and my thinking tree. Laughter. Surprises. Music. Gaining financial stability. Good books. Poetry. Possibility.



47 thoughts on “Stop. Focus.

  1. I think we all need to do the stop and focus thing once in awhile and take stock in the good. Thanks for reminding me of this.

    You’re going to be fine. I’m psychic. 🙂

  2. You’re good. I have the bad habit of getting caught up in the drama and feed off the negativity (I love me some righteous indignation). But you’re right, it never helps. What you’re doing is smart and mature and so so so much kinder to yourself.

  3. Nice post, Sizz. I could learn a lot from you on how to think. It’s so easy to be angry and frustrated, but much harder to look at the positives we have. Thank you for writing this. Hugs to you.

  4. You are a better woman (wolith better eyebrows) than I! Well done and when it comes to blogging, I always regret giving the negative any lip service because I don’t want the forces trying to bring Me down to read it and derive any malicious satisfaction.

    Just repeat after Me… Karma’s a bitch!

  5. I’ve tried this, the listing great things when you really want to punch someone or cry. It helped, but isn’t a perfect science for me – but you, my dead, seem to have it well in hand. Excellent.

  6. Don’t laugh, but last week Richard Simmons told me that the only way to be truly happy is to count your blessings. That if you aren’t counting your blessings, you are holding on to anger and resentment and bitterness that shows up in the form of weight and self-loathing. I told him I count my blessings and he said I am obviously not doing it enough. It has been sitting heavy (no pun intended) with me all week. And now, here is your post showing me in pure form and hitting me over the head with exactly what he was referring to. Today I will do the same. And to begin, I will start with you. I have been blessed since the day you walked into my life. Without your teaching me not only to love, but to receive love. To have family. To belong. It was never and has never been about sexuality. Ours has always been about something deeper and much more constant, love. So I thank you for that and I am thankful you are still here with me, every day. Even if it is just a tweet or a comment, you are here with me every day and I can’t imagine a single day without you and all of your love. Thank you. xoxo

  7. My spam thinks I have a small penis.
    Very smart gal. You do deserve to be treated well. Other people’s shit is not your problem. I’m impressed that you were able to move beyond the bitchiness so quickly. I’m still feeling bitchy for you.

  8. You deserve to be treated right. And you’re right, you are so far above all that shit. You’re at the tree tops and should be singing like a bird. Wait, you kinda were. Go Sizz, go!

  9. I love that you’ve changed your tune. Happy that you are focusing on the good thingand instead of letting the dark clouds consume you.


  10. Now you’re talking.

    Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it. (Lou Holtz).

    Now get out there and show the world how awesome you are.


  11. How do I sign up for Wise Spam? I like that one and I’m glad you took it to heart. You’re supposed to be my beacon of hope in a despairing world. I like it much better when you’re happier. I only wish it was more often.

  12. Dr Drew twittered this yesterday: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” ~Sir Winston Churchill. Sage advice for any situation.

  13. You wow me with your positivity….even if sometimes you have to reach deep inside you to get it, it comes out. Many others would dwell on the negative, but not you. You rock sista!

  14. Your doing it! That which we give our energy to only grows in intensity and breadth. You have so much and while you may or may not long for that romantic relationship, it just takes one. And he’s out there somewhere looking just as hard for you.

  15. I think you should add in “the smell of napalm in the morning” and “the sound of a hundred assholes slamming shut” to your list. That would be awesome. Hugs and stuff with tits and everything

  16. I have about 145 spam comments right now. I bet none of mine are as wise as yours.

    Thanks for the reminder to focus on the good. It’s so easy to lose sight of that.

  17. Great! Speaking as one who just lost what was left of her job, it is always best to focus on the good in ones life, ALWAYS. XOXO

  18. Hey Sizzle– even in blogdom we manage to find people we relate to, and call friend, and you are one of them, for me. In lots of ways I feel like a sort of big sister(a role that is natural and perhaps one you understand) and want to encourage you and offer help from the sidelines…and today you reminded me that sometimes we have to discover that perspective all for ourselves. It’s one of those gifts from the universe, and you got it.

    You *do* deserve someone who will love you in a way that will let you feel supported and safe to be you, no matter what life throws. None of us can keep up the smooth exterior the world sees, and someone who loves us will give us the space and grace to be human, and flawed. Without it? The love can’t last anyway. We all need a safe place to fall. I’m glad today that you feel that deep down. You are infinitely lovable.:-)

    There’s lots I could offer about growing up the way we have being wrought with twisty-turns, but I’d much rather you remember the smell of chlorine on your skin! (hugs)

  19. Good for you for taking the high road. I bet you feel much better. But any time you need to bitch and vent, I’m right here, an email away ; )

  20. First time commenter but have been reading for several months (we met once about 10 years ago). Love this post. Just had to say that. 🙂

  21. Wow. Would you mind sending some of that mature optimism my way? Gads, I could sure use some of it. Actually, a truckload of it. You know, if you have any to spare.

  22. Spam got through to my email today and it was about some incredible diet product. Coincidentally I’ve been drinking biggest loser meal replacement shakes and trying to exercise more lately to lose some extra weight.

    Maybe spam is psychic.

  23. I wish I got the kind of spam you get. The spam I get does have something to do with love, but it’s normally offers to buy a blue pill on the cheap.

    This post did make me smile.

  24. Pingback: No Thanks. I’m Full Up On Crazy. « Sizzle Says

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