My name is Sizzle and I am an over-sharer.
There are many instances of my over-sharing. First and foremost, I am a blogger so it goes without saying that I like telling people my business. I over-share when I first meet someone, or at a party in a group setting, or on a date, over dinner, or, yes, even at work. If there was an over-sharing competition I’d win a gold medal for the United States. I over-share to the MAX. And the worst part? Half the time I don’t even notice I am doing it.
Take, for example, a recent work lunch where my entire department went out to eat with our new boss. Grated, I had met the new boss a few times prior to this and had just come from an hour meeting where we joked and laughed and I got the sense that we had similar senses of humor. I felt pretty comfortable with her.
So we’re all sitting around the table waiting for our food when RayLo brings up something about her mother- a startling fact that to me warranted further discussion. You see, RayLo’s mom wears pantyhose EVERY DAY. Even under jeans! My immediate thought was: Her vagina really needs to breathe. My secondary thought was: This explains A LOT about RayLo’s mom. (She’s a real piece of work, yo.)
In true Sizzle fashion I shared my thoughts aloud to the group of all female coworkers because seriously this woman’s vagina is crying out for freedom. I find the whole situation alarming and amusing. Besides, there was a conversation lull, which is very dangerous when I am around. I tend to interject random and inappropriate information in those lulls. Beware of the lulls!
Most of you are probably shaking your heads thinking, “Sizz, you don’t talk about a coworker’s mom’s vagina over lunch with your entire department AND your new boss on her first day! Or EVER!” And yet, I did. And apparently RayLo claims I said the word vagina five times. My old supervisor chimed in, probably trying to get me to shut the fuck up, saying, “Sizzle is what we’d call an “over-sharer” but it’s one of her endearing traits.”
Let it be known: I am conversationally dangerous.
Proceed with caution.