Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

My Mind: He is cute.

My Mind (1 minute later): That guy is hawt.

My Mind (30 seconds later): Oh he’s sexy.

My Ovaries (piping in): Any of them will do!

My Mind: Hey! Are you the culprit for all this? I can’t stop eyeing the man candy.

My Ovaries: Well, yeah, check your calendar. Besides, it’s been a while.

My Vagina: Don’t remind me.

My Mind: What the? Listen Vagina, you better watch your sarcasm.

My Clitoris: Vagina is right! We need some action!

My Nipples: YEAH!

My Mind: Oh great, now the peanut gallery is chiming in on my lack of sex.

My Vagina: Do you even remember how to have sex? You’re like a born again virgin!

My Mind: That’s harsh, Vag. I’m on a love sabbatical.

My Clitoris: Who said anything about love? We just want naked time with a hot guy!

My Mind: You really have a one track mind, Clito.

My Vagina: Look, you’re an attractive woman with big breasts. . .

My Nipples (interjecting): YEAH!

My Vagina: As I was saying. . .this should not be a problem. Quit with all your moral standards and get us laid.

My Uterus: You guys, I really don’t feel so good.

My Vagina: Oh great, we’ve missed our window! Damn it!

My Mind: At least now I don’t have to listen to you yammer on about sex.

My Vagina: Oh we’ll be back next month with a vengeance.


39 thoughts on “Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

  1. But that’s why it only lasts a few days every month. So that we can’t make too many irrational decisions that involve shooting ourselves in the foot.

  2. I take it your mind won over the other body parts?

    My mind and body are both currently doing this: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Actually, they like doing that most weekdays. 😉

  3. I actually spewed water all over my keyboard after reading this. I bow to your comedic genius (or should I bow to your various body parts’ comedic genius…hot naked time???).

  4. HA! Do you ever watch “Bones”? One of the main characters, Angela, is on a celebacy kick… she is constantly horny. Sounds much like your dialog. 🙂

  5. Wow, it’s been months since you asked me to send that photo of myself. I’m shocked and honored you are still looking at it.

    Sadly, I am all the way across the country. Sorry Sizz, you’ll have to be satisfied with photos till I make it to the west coast sometime in the future.



  6. Oh dear. Not only are you now reduced to talking to yourself. But all your different body parts are talking amongst themselves. We’re in trouble, Sizz, deep deep trouble.

  7. I totally can’t do this as well as you. I was trying to describe it to Tracy earlier and the best I could pull of was, “Sizzle was all about ‘I like cock and stuff. No, really, I like it a lot and everything.'”

  8. Unsurprisingly, men’s internal conversations are much simpler:

    My mouth: Holy crap a beer sounds good right about now.

    My penis: Eyes on the prize, amigos! If we don’t find some action soon we’ll have to retire for some “me time.” Again.

    My stomach: Dudes, pizza is much easier. Let’s get it delivered.

  9. For a brief time in college, I dated a guy who was bisexual AND who popped his collar. And he was 10 years older than me.

    Need I tell you it didn’t work out?

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