So we all know about how I said vagina five times during the infamous work luncheon with my new boss. THERE WAS CONTEXT, OK!? But then I went and upped the ante.
I inadvertently shoved my ample bosom practically into the face of my female coworker while reaching for a bag of chocolates during a departmental “retreat” (non-profit code for all day meeting with no internet access). I underestimated the distance between my reach, the bag and her face. Clearly I suck at spatial relations. Also, maybe, I should not have 1) been so close, 2) been eating chocolates and 3) been so amused by her blushing. It really was an accident. Despite the rumors, I don’t generally shove my bosom into unsuspecting people’s faces. At least, not unless there’s money or booze involved.
While talking amongst the group during said retreat about our history of having no boss or a boss who had no ideas or the ability to lead, I may have said aloud to my new boss, “That’s why we all basically want to make out with you!”
Please note that 1) I did not mean it literally and 2) IT WAS A COMPLIMENT and 3) I made everyone laugh. Some uncomfortably. My coworkers may or may not be strategizing how to make me mute or disown me.
Is this a three strikes your out kind of situation? Because if so, um, OOPS.