“You’re the best at moving the water,” she shouted to me over the noise of splashing water as we jogged across the pool. My water aerobics fan was tooting my exercise horn again.
What she was referring to was the exercise where we have to pivot and push the water away from us and then pull the water back towards us with our hands clad in water mitts while the instructor hollers “MOVE MORE WATER!” over and over and over until you think maybe your arms might fall off.
I had no idea that I was the fastest and honestly, we should really conduct some sort of survey to be sure. I admit that I am very intent when I am doing that part of the workout. I like to push myself to go as fast as I can.
“You look really fierce when you’re doing it. Like you could rip someone’s head off,” she continued.
See? Transparent. That’s me. EVEN DURING WATER AEROBICS. Because when I am doing that exercise I am channeling all my aggression into the movement. I’m thinking about what is pissing me off or nagging at me. I feel much better after.
Last night our instructor lost track of time and worked us harder than usual. There’s this one exercise where we do an ice skater motion dashing our arms from right to left in front of us while thrusting and extending one leg at a time backwards in a kicking motion. We did that one A LOT. This morning my gluts are sore and cranky. I told them to quit their crabbing. We’re on a mission.
Random inquiry: Should I be at all alarmed that this woman seems to watch me working out while she should be doing the exercises?
Random request: If you’re going to go to water aerobics, please refrain from dousing yourself in stinky perfume. Please and thank you.
*Lyric by Martin Sexton