The Beast In Me Is the Best In Me*

“You’re the best at moving the water,” she shouted to me over the noise of splashing water as we jogged across the pool. My water aerobics fan was tooting my exercise horn again.

What she was referring to was the exercise where we have to pivot and push the water away from us and then pull the water back towards us with our hands clad in water mitts while the instructor hollers “MOVE MORE WATER!” over and over and over until you think maybe your arms might fall off.

I had no idea that I was the fastest and honestly, we should really conduct some sort of survey to be sure. I admit that I am very intent when I am doing that part of the workout. I like to push myself to go as fast as I can.

“You look really fierce when you’re doing it. Like you could rip someone’s head off,” she continued.

See? Transparent. That’s me. EVEN DURING WATER AEROBICS. Because when I am doing that exercise I am channeling all my aggression into the movement. I’m thinking about what is pissing me off or nagging at me. I feel much better after.

Last night our instructor lost track of time and worked us harder than usual. There’s this one exercise where we do an ice skater motion dashing our arms from right to left in front of us while thrusting and extending one leg at a time backwards in a kicking motion. We did that one A LOT. This morning my gluts are sore and cranky. I told them to quit their crabbing. We’re on a mission.

Random inquiry: Should I be  at all alarmed that this woman seems to watch me working out while she should be doing the exercises?

Random request: If you’re going to go to water aerobics, please refrain from dousing yourself in stinky perfume. Please and thank you.

*Lyric by Martin Sexton


25 thoughts on “The Beast In Me Is the Best In Me*

  1. People always underestimate how hard it is to move in water and how much of a work out you can get in it (use to be on a swim team). Go you! Oh and don’t worry about the lady. You’re probably just doing the best in your class!

  2. Once I’m cleared for strenuous exercise and water submersion, water aerobics is at the top of my list. I’m excited!

  3. I never realized that you can actually SWEAT while being in the water…. but it’s true 😉

    So funny you have a fan… you should make sure that you excercise BEHIND her (you know, just to make sure that you don’t distract her from getting a good workout ;)).

  4. I think the instructor is likely watching everyone, but maybe you stand out because you put so much of your energy into it. (The swishy arms thing sounds hard by the way.)

  5. Maybe she thinks if she pays attention to you busting your butt, she won’t have to pay attention to busting her own. Or she just can’t resist an ass-kickin’ hottie in a bathing suit…

  6. Holy crap, I thought your “fan” was the instructor giving you kudos for your great work. As I read more, it began to sound like you’ve got a psycho waterstalker. Is that correct?

  7. That’s one of the things I love about exercise. It allows us to work out any aggression we’re feeling without taking it out on people in our life.

  8. I had friends who did aquasize and they LOVED it. You’re making me want to give it a go.

    (And the other chick is a little weird. Or, she thinks you’re hot 😉 )

  9. I think she needs a friend. Or at least a water aerobics friend. Or she wants to do you.

    I think your random request should be for everywhere, not just water aerobics. There is nothing worse than someone who has oversprayed the perfume. (Well there is something worse. But the oversprayer gives me a headache)

  10. I’ve heard that exercising in water is a great way to get in shape- I had no idea what water aerobics entailed before, but it seems like a good workout.

    I think your fan probably just is impressed with your water aerobics skill and tries to emulate you- nothing to worry about just yet. I’d say you have a good month/month and a half, easy, before she tries to lure you down into her basement 🙂

  11. Oh HELLZ YES on the no perfume!!!! People!!! Please!!! (especially if you are older and your olfactory system has quit on you or you have been wearing the same scent for so many years that your withered olfactories no longer recognize it SO YOU COMPENSATE BY USING HALF THE BOTTLE AT A TIME!!!!

    Thank you for letting me vent.

  12. I have a friend who says that, to make new friends, she makes it a point to befriend someone in every class she takes. But we’re both 50-somethings, and it’s hard to meet new people at our age. Maybe that’s what your “fan” is doing – I wouldn’t worry until she is like punchlinewalking describes!

    Also, I’ve taken water aerobics before, and they were never this energetic or fun! I have to look into this again…

  13. I wouldn’t be alarmed by the woman, until it starts to get annoying and distracting. I think she is trying to flatter you.

    I love reading about your water workouts, because I know so little about it, and the more I read, the more awesome it sounds. This is dumb, but I thought it would be calm! I never thought you could use it that way – to release some steam. That is great!

  14. Yeah, I’m of the mind that she wants your boobies, too. “She’s watching you because she wants to go out with you,” was my immediate thought when you asked that question.

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