Endless Parade of Vacancies

I can’t seem to catch a break.

I have already bitched before about how I’m going on month THREE of open units. What that means is every available moment I have when I am not at work is spent negotiating showings or dealing with move out stuff or cleaning. My weekends are not my own. I have been trying to go to Portland for three months and now I have to miss Kerrianne’s birthday weekend. (WAH!)

My social life is taking a severe beating. I suppose it is good that I am not dating? That doesn’t really comfort me.

Add to that the fact that so many potential tenants will agree to a time and then NOT SHOW UP OR CALL. This is rude. Very rude. And flaky. I do not like rude or flaky. It makes me want to kick things. Doesn’t anyone have manners anymore? Or is it a lost art much like thank you notes?

One unit has been open since the end of April. I am currently offering June free if someone FOR THE LOVE OF GOD will just move in already. The other unit smells of cat piss. It’s not the current tenant’s fault. Before my time there was apparently a woman who resided in that unit who let her cat use the entire apartment as a litter box. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little just typing that. That is disgusting. So, you can imagine that despite changing the carpets, the carpet pads and doing deep cleanings, the scent lingers. This is also the neighboring unit to the Music Man which we all know by now means someone deaf or incredibly patient or never home is the only kind of tenant that will be happy there.


I did rent one basement-style unit to the very first person I showed it to. I wasn’t even advertising it but she was walking by and then BAM she loved it. I totally thought it was going to be the hardest to rent. I mean it has tile walls in most of the rooms. TILE. The place is like a giant bathroom. But whatever. She liked it and it’s rented and that is one I can cross off my checklist.

Last night around 10pm I received notice from the third tenant (actually fourth since I have technically had that one unit open since May). That’s when I knew that Portland was just a pipe dream and that my weekend would include a lot of sitting around waiting for people to call, putting on my game face, and shmoozing emo hipsters. And maybe some praying. Hey, it can’t hurt.

I am really reconsidering my decision to steer clear of the booze.

27 thoughts on “Endless Parade of Vacancies

  1. I say, steer clear of the booze and bake instead. When selling a home, they always say that the smell of something freshly baked lures homeowners in. Makes them feel like home. So, go into cat piss place and bake a pie there. Leave it on the counter during showings. Or, if that’s not possible, at least light a few scented candles to shoo away the stank.

  2. I’m with Nilsa. You should bake everything you can think of in the piss palace. Hrm, I think you should good something with a good marinara sauce too.

    And drink…fuck that “not drinking” thing.

  3. I’m with Nilsa. Maybe bake a whole lot of stuff and place it in that cat piss smelling apartment so cover the smell.

    If it’s at all possible to do that.

  4. Baking is a good thing (I have a whole grain cranberry cookie recipe if you want) And have fresh flowers and candles, they seem to do the trick.

    I hope that you get them filled up soon so you can go and enjoy your summer.

  5. Have you tried having the apartment completely re-primed with Killz or something? That’s not the cheapest option, but it might help to get rid of the cat smell. I imagine trying to show that unit on the hot days is next to impossible. Blergh.

  6. This sucks. I’m so sorry.

    Have you tried Nature’s Miracle to deal with the cat pee? It is designed specifically to combat pee. The prison training program recommended it for use on dog pee, because it contains something that breaks down the enzymes that cause the smell? I don’t know (and I haven’t tried it because Montana has never had an accident, knock on wood), but people swear by it.

  7. I wish you an endless stream of well qualified tenants ready to move NOW! If we chant it, maybe it will work? Well, whatever, I’m sending the good energy your way.

  8. “Sizzle is catching a break, Sizzle is catching a break, Sizzle is catching a break….” Did it work? Or should I just send you a nice bottle of bourbon?

  9. I’m Secreting you as I type. You WILL rent all those apartments and no other tenant will give notice. Boom. Done.

  10. cat pee: vinegar/borax … (they seriously may need to tear out the floors altogether and re-do…because cat pee is worse than any other scent to get rid of)

    sorry hun, i know it is frustrating…i wish i could help!

  11. Get some containers of activated charcoal (deactivated? retroactivated? something like that) and place several around the apartment for a couple of days. Works like super powered baking soda, should help absorb the odors.

  12. That cat pee apartment is making me sick to think about. Would a candle help or is it way past that point?

    I am thinking good thoughts for you to have all the tennts you want very soon!

  13. Oh, stinky pet floor. My parents have lots of rentals and the solutions available they try are:
    1) Bleach sub-floor; then paint sub-floor with Kiltz; replace pad/carpet
    2) Replace sub-floor; replace pad/carpet

    Option 1 doesn’t always work, but it is worth trying this before replacing the sub-floor.

  14. That’s too bad that you personally have to show each unit, instead of being able to put on a lockbox. Yeah, the cat pee must be in the wood and it will never come out unless it’s replace — yuck! I hear a lot of landlords will allow cats but not dogs, but in my experience, cats cause far more damage.

  15. Arranging a time to meet and then not showing up pisses me off royally. Would it kill these people to, you know, pickup the bloody phone and let me know. Ugh. Bastards.

  16. “agree to a time and then NOT SHOW UP OR CALL. This is rude. Very rude. And flaky. I do not like rude or flaky.” The words out of my mouth. HATE it.

  17. I hate it when people bail like that too. It’s so disrespectful. I hope you get all of those units rented asap so you can get out & have fun!

  18. I got nothin’ but “Hang in there!” as far as getting the units rented…but as far as advice for pet home owners? If you ever have to rip out your carpeting, paint the floors. It becomes a sealant against what odors are in the wood flooring, and a barrier against any accidents that may happen after the new carpet is layed.

    I also would advise margaritas to take the aggravation of people away. Just sayin’. 🙂

  19. I think you should start making people sign 5-year leases so you can at least get a vacation in before the end of the Mayan calendar…

  20. That sounds exhausting. Will the owners replace the subfloor and carpet in the pee unit? Because I’d think that one is gonna be a tough sell.
    I will keep my fingers crossed! It is only right you have your getaway!

  21. it’s really not fair that you’ve been missing out on fun events because of the damn rentals.

    sending out positive vibes they will rent way before you go to BlogHer.

Comments are closed.