So thanks to the wonders of Facebook, my 8th grade graduating class is having a reunion.

Gee, THANKS Facebook!

Here’s something you should know- I went to the same Catholic school in California with almost the same group of kids from Kindergarten to 8th grade (give or take a few). We were very, very close. Many are still best friends. I actually liked a lot of them (except my arch nemesis). It could be interesting to see everyone. Or it could be incredibly awkward.

One woman in particular has made it her mission to pull off this reunion. It’s strange because she didn’t even go to school with us for that many years but she apparently has fond memories. This woman, while very well meaning and sweet, is not the best communicator. Her emails to us are all over the place peppered with too much personal information and a lot of LOLs. You get the picture. I’ve offered my help because as an event planner I can see this whole thing being an epic fail if someone doesn’t interfere assist.

At first I was considering going figuring that if no one had given notice at the apartment even though it’s on August 8th (only two weeks after I return home from Chicago/BlogHer) I could maybe swing it for old time’s sake. I even replied “maybe” on the evite remarking that I was having nightmare flashbacks about pool parties. (Apparently the house it’s being held at has a pool and we were told to bring our suits.) But then last night I was telling my friends about it and they were like WE ARE GETTING MARRIED ON THE 9TH AND YOU HAVE TO BE THERE. Oh, right. Shit! I should know this since I am sort of their wedding coordinator. So now there is absolutely no question about whether I am going or not. I can’t. End of story.

Except, when I went to change my reply on the evite my arch nemesis had replied yes she was attending and had said something to me about not worrying because no one was going to wear swimsuits. My immediate thought was: What the fuck you skinny bitch!? Nothing has changed with you since 8th grade is that what you are telling me with that dig?! I wish I was going so I could tit punch you into the fucking pool.

Not that I still harbor resentments or anything.


She probably didn’t mean it as a jab (benefit of the doubt! benefit of the doubt!) but I still don’t like her and you can’t make me. It’s clearly better that I can’t go. Instead I will just send a life sized photo cut out of my face on a stick for them to insert into photos. Or down their pants. This way no one gets hurt.

Though I’ll admit there is a small part of me that would like to go, just to show them what I’m made of. That I am no longer that shy fat girl who was everyone’s friend but no one’s girlfriend. That girl who got good grades and followed the rules and was nice to everyone.

Oh wait. I kind of am still that girl. Minus the shy.

Damn it.


44 thoughts on “Reunionized

  1. What she’s trying to tell you with that dig is that dozens of years after she’s left school, she’s still a scared and insecure person who can only keep staving off her overwhelming feelings of fear and insecurity by attempting to make others experience her feelings, so no one notices she has them.

    She’s trying to make herself feel better by making someone else feel worse. Sad thing for her is, that never works. And the only people who attempt it feel like shit inside.

    Realize that and realize you don’t feel nearly as bad as she must inside.

    That always helps me keep from getting sucked into the tornado of chaos and unhappiness that people like the keep around them. Knowing they are afraid. And I’m not. I’m okay.

  2. From one awkward Catholic school 8th grade survivor to another, I volunteer to go in your place and punch your arch nemesis in the tit while screaming “PAYBACKS ARE HELL, BITCH-OLA! I KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW ME! I’M A STAND-IN!”

  3. What a bitch! Whatever you have better things to do than sit around and talk about the past. You are living in the future…. or I mean the present. 🙂

    I went to one reunion that was just like high school. So I stopped going to them. But I do love seeing everyone on facebook. Maybe facebook can replace reunions?

  4. Oh…I hate passive-aggressive comments like that.

    You are way too good for her, my friend. I’m actually glad that you can’t go – you don’t need to connect with people like that.

  5. What an effing bitch! Want me to go instead and punch her in the face and kick her in the knees?

    You know what though? She clearly harbors some hatred/jealousy towards you if she’s always been nothing but a piece of snot to you.

    I’ve actually never been to any of my reunions and never will go. Sometimes the past is just that: the past.

  6. Good ol’ Facebook. I was just friended by an old arch nemesis and after looking at her profile, feel sorry for her. She put up some pictures of her kids and didn’t even spell their names right…one of them is Kaleigh and all I can think about is Caylee Anthony and this arch nemesis IS kind of like a Casey Anthony-personality – I think she even did some jail time.


    Old arch nemeses die hard.

  7. Well like you mentioned previously about her, she is not that samrt, a bit borning and lame. You my dear, have out shone her in ways that she will not be able to comprehend.

  8. I had a nemesis in middle school too and I still don’t like her either. And I would interpret pretty much everything she said as a jab. Ugh.

  9. you are your own worst critic, and you are hateful for blaming her for all your own insecurities. time to act your age, and not your shoe size.

  10. LOL i no whut u mean because im reading blogs and came across yours and for breakfast i didn’t have anything but stale cereal u no whut i mean LOL LOL how are you doing because we really should meet up again because LOL remember that time when that thing happened to that guy OMG i cant believe he did that! LOL i wonder where he is now. anyway are you coming to the reunin? cuz that would rawk LOL!

  11. Remember one thing (and I will screw up how to phrase this), but the worst thing about people like your nemesis, is they have to live with who they are everyday. So just feel sorry for her, rather than be irked by her. She sucks 🙂
    Also, just send a stripper to the reunion in your place, like the chick who went to my high school (years after me) did.

  12. Oh goodie! An anonymous commenter who thinks they have me pegged! Does this mean I’ve made it to the big time?

    Giddy with hope,

  13. Who says “act your age not your shoe size” anymore? Did I just miss something? Have we all decided to travel back to the 80’s?

  14. I can honestly say I have zero intention of ever attending a reunion of any sort, mostly because unless the reunion is with a group of your closest, dearest, friends, it’s complete petty bullshit, and I stave off enough complete petty bullshit in my life on a daily basis.

    That’s why I almost quit Facebook on a daily basis. So many people are so content to live in the past. They don’t change, and they don’t allow anyone else to, either.


  15. Even if no one goes swimming, I hope someone pushes her in the pool. Fully clothed. It’s bad enough teenagers make those sorts of statements to one another. But, 30-somethings? Ridiculous!

  16. Maybe I’m reading this the wrong way, but I took her comment as saying “don’t worry, I’m not going to wear one either and most people probably won’t b/c we’re all in our mid-30s and don’t want to show that much of ourselves anymore.” In Hawaii, a lot of the reunions are centered around beach outings, so swimsuits are the norm but I’d probably be the one in the type that covered up all the bad places.

  17. What a hobag! WHO does that sh*t after 8th grade, anyway?? I wish you were going just so you could throw her in the pool and ninja water aerobics her ass.

  18. Hopefully her comment came off different than she meant it. My mother in law does that and when I FINALLY started calling her on it, she was shocked because it wasn’t how she meant things at all. She just has extremely poor communication skills.

  19. Tit punch her. Ha. You have been hanging out with Kaply a lot lately, haven’t you? I vote for a quick plane ride down, tit punch her and then hop the next plane back to the wedding festivities. And then while you are at it.. could you do the same for me? I hate facebook for finding people you never wanted to remember.

    And just because you don’t have a boyfriend now… doesn’t mean a damn thing. I bet you could find any number of volunteers.. you are CHOOSING to be selective.

  20. Goddamnit anonymous commenter! Now I can’t stop singing “Act your age, not your shoe size. Maybe we could do the twirl. You don’t have to watch Dynasty…to have an attitude.” Sizzle RULES, Anonymous Commenter DROOLS!

  21. I’m a big advocate of continued hatred of arch nemeses. I had a dream recently that I ran into mine in a store and she told me how she’d always envied me, and that her life had gone to hell since high school (I’m almost 100 percent sure neither of these things are true, but a girl can literally dream).

    Sitcomgirl, did you go to Peninsula High? I heard about that story and thought it was great. I felt very proud of my fellow South Bayer (I grew up in Manhattan Beach and went to Mira Costa).

  22. You could always find a hot guy at the wedding, find a room with a phone that has Skype and Skype them at the reunion wearing your most fabulous outfit and just be your dazzling self. : )

  23. Commments slay me today. Hysterical.

    You could not pay me to go to any reunion… I went to high school with one of my coworkers. He loved school, loved high school… best time of his life… loser.

  24. I went to school with basically the same kids k-12. Just ran into someone last Sat. and didn’t recognize her though she did me. It was actually cool but also strange.

    Have not put my school affiliations on the ol’ FB, and don’t think I will…. 😉

  25. What’s the date again? I’ll go punch her. Not to worry, there’s a nemesis from my 8th grade class that you can take out for me sometime, too.
    And this is why I’m comfortable waiting until 20 years to reunite with anyone.

  26. This is why Facebook is actually evil. People you never liked making comments about you or your life. People who don’t spend enough time online to find your blog but are more than happy to think they know everything about you from some random status updates.

    … can you tell I’ve had trouble with FB? Hehehe. No it’s not been that bad but there’s been some moments.

  27. Argh. I just submitted a comment (I thought) and it vanished into the either.
    Basically, I had good advice yesterday and I talk a good game, but my bff from grade school and I totally google old crushes and snicker if they are bald or ugly. So I try to be good and rise above but I clearly have evil in my heart.

  28. I bet that girl is timid in real life and nothing compared to your awesomness. It’s her loss that she doesn’t get to see you at this part!

  29. As with Kagar, I’m also asking: 8th grade reunion? How soon before Kindergarten reunions are common place? “I remember eating your crayon”

    I have found so many people that I grew up with on Facebook. It’s been a nice thing.

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