Don’t Make Me Come Over There

I am feeling very stabby.*

For a variety of reasons I feel overcome with irritation and annoyance at the drop of a hat. And no, it’s not that time of the month but so kind of you to inquire into my personal ovulation cycle.

Exhibit A: I had just climbed into the shower this morning when my towel fell off the shower rod and onto the floor. Irritated, I hastily pulled back the shower curtain to pick it up and toss it back over the rod and in doing so the rod and curtain and liner all fell to the ground.

As I stood there, half-wet, the water spraying off my body and out into the bathroom.

I attempted to re-hook the curtain to the rod and get it stuck between the walls but the tension of the tension rod was not cooperating. I am only 5′ 2″ so hoisting the curtain rod to an accurate level while dripping wet in a slippery shower is no small feat. (No pun intended.) It took me three tries and a lot of swearing but I got it to stick. Finally.

Half-way into washing my hair, the damn curtain kept billowing out and sticking to my body. I would yell at it to “stop it!” and viciously brush it away but, as you can imagine, it did not comply. Inanimate objects can be such assholes.

I raced through the rest of my shower, washing with one hand and batting away the curtain with the other. Post-shower, the curtain is currently crumpled in the tub; the rod gruffly discarded in the corner. They are both in a time out. I can’t deal with them right now or else my head will implode.

This is just one example of how my mood is totally fucked lately. Simple annoyances are ballooning up into epic combustible fits inside me. This is what happens, boys and girls, when Sizzle is over-worked, over-tired and has drank wine the past three nights.

The cure?

1) Avoid everyone. (At least until I don’t feel like stabbing anymore.)

2) No more booze. (At least until BlogHer.)

3) Go to bed at 10pm every night. (This does not mean getting into bed and then playing my DSi for an hour or more.)

4) Say no to requests that don’t fit in an already packed schedule. (Sometimes there isn’t enough time to do the things you want to do when you find them. Jim Croce taught us that.)

5) Prioritize health. (No skipping workouts to do work. Workouts provide balance, endorphins and stress release. Accept no subsititutes.)

*Stabby is a term I borrow without permission from Kaply.

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38 thoughts on “Don’t Make Me Come Over There

  1. Are you sure we’re not related or something? Cause that totally sounds like something that would happen to me.

  2. 6) Actually stab someone. While illegal in most states, it is also tremendously satisfying.

    (sorry you are feeling so stabby — I hope things improve for you!)

  3. Thanks for sharing. I feel that way and I don’t even have the excuse of being overworked, overtired, or drinking wine the last three nigths. Maybe it’s the moon?

  4. i have the same fucking issue with my shower curtain. it sticks to me all the time! and is expecially worse when shaving my legs, which in turn pulls all the shaving cream off! UGH!

    i miss ya lady!

    xo

  5. Oh, I have my stabby days too. Hope the feeling passes, at least so that I don;t have to sleep with one eye open at BlogHer šŸ˜‰

  6. This sounds like me. I am the clumsiest person alive and on days when I already feel like I want to murder someone…or something…my clumsiness annoys me to NO end. Your list sounds good though šŸ™‚ Hope you are less stabby soon šŸ™‚

  7. Here’s what I don’t understand – why don’t builder people put in PERMANENT shower rods? It’s something everyone uses, right?

  8. That shower curtain bellowing out and sticking to me thing…

    Yeah. that gets me stabby too. On a daily basis I also need to rehook the f’d up shower curtain hooks. They keep coming off the rod whenever I open or close the curtain. You’d think that the manufacturer could have created a more complete hook so that the hooks stay intact on the rod.

    Happy to know that it’s not just me. šŸ™‚

  9. If your shower curtain falling down wouldn’t make you cranky regularly, you are a better person that I am. I love the idea of a permanent shower rod.

  10. Ugh. I’m sorry. All this crap sucks but I imagine your proposed solution will work wonders.

    Our tension rod falls down all the time too. It’s on our list to install a shower door. That eliminates the stupid billowing curtain problem, too.

  11. That’s how I am. Almost all of the time. That’s why I am going to therapy (well, part of the reason). šŸ˜¦ I hope your fives steps help šŸ™‚

  12. I was you about two weeks ago. The drinking too many days in a row always puts me over the edge (especially when it’s accompanied by not sleeping). I have thrown many inanimate objects in my day as a result of this swollen-irritation phenomenon. I hope it goes away for you soon.

    Oh and my friends and I used “stabby” when we were in the UK several years ago. We started saying we were “Westminster crabby” after long days and that evolved into “Westminster stabby.” I hope that goes away soon too. šŸ™‚

  13. I’m sorry were you saying something? My mind wondered toward slick glistening skin, soapy water bad 70’s music. Somewhere there was Jello and whipped cream involved.

    I’m back now. šŸ™‚

  14. there is something in the air. big time. i’ve been stabby all week (yes i realize it’s only wednesday — it’s going to be a long week here) and i want people to leave me alone. sadly, no one is. i’m just glad i was able to avoid killing my daughter and her best friend last night. even if ballet class did make me want to cry.

  15. You are clearly more sensible than I. When I feel “stabby” I tend to want to be alone, yes, but I also want to be lazy and eat junk and if there are drinks to be had, I want them in my belly.

    Priorities, you know. Yours seem excellent.

  16. Love stabby!!! My sister calls that mood “growly”…

    Oh the joys of shower curtains. I found little magnets worked particularly well with one unwieldy, billowy shower curtain in my past. Damned thing practically hugged me from all sides when I took a shower.

  17. Can I just say that I LURVE that you quoted Jim Croce? Can I also say you should stay away from knives when you feel stabby and only eat food you can get to your mouth via hands or spoon? (Forks being potential weapons, too) LOL. Feel better soon.

  18. I love the term stabby. I have been feeling stabby all week too.

    Amen to #5. I also would like my family to stop waking me up for no apparent reason…

  19. I just want to say that a bad shower…like the one you described…or one where I run out of perfect-temperature water, etc., is enough to ruin a day for me. So don’t beat yourself up too much. šŸ™‚

  20. haha the shower curtain sticking to your body is THE most frustrating thing in the morning. I’m totally with you on that one šŸ˜‰

  21. I am so sorry to be laughing, but your entire post is cracking me up. I hope you at least feel better that all of this made me laugh this morning. Hope you are feeling un-stabby soon!

  22. You pretty much have all sorts of rights to be “stabby” when something like that happens.

    I’m thinking I may just superglue by shower curtain to the bathtub so it’ll STOP with the sticking to my body thing.

  23. I can totally relate on the stabby. And the shower rod sticking. URGH. I ended up installing a curved shower rod and voila, no more billowing in and sticking to me. Not that it makes me feel any less stabby out of the shower, but now I can shower in peace. Also, leaving a small gap at the far end of the shower curtain (don’t pull it all the way closed) sometimes helps with the billowing and sticking. STABBY 2009! Commence!

  24. I pulled down the shower rod when I was home visiting my parents and I was FURIOUS. A shower rod should not fall down when you do the simple act of throwing your towel over it!!! I think such situations stoke a ridiculous amount of ire in everyone–the question is, why??

  25. I go through this myself. I can take some pretty big/bad news, but having a towel bar down fall down on me is sometimes the straw that breaks my back and I get so angry over it. I rationalize that at least it’s usually just Ted that sees it, which allows me to have a more moderate temper in front of others šŸ™‚

  26. Hiya. I just wandered over here from 3Giraffes, and had one of these days myself yesterday. I hope y’all are having a wonderful time in Chicago! Oh, and we call it “gritchy” in our house…lol.

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