This Is Me Angry

Begin rant.

I’ve had it. I am so sick of people parking in my driveway. I EARN that space! It says NO PARKING and yet people keep parking there- when there is no car in the driveway or when there is. They have blocked me in when I am rushing out to get somewhere. They have pulled part of the way in so that I can’t even pull in behind them. They are, 98% of the time, not one of my tenants but a friend visiting one of my tenants.

So guess what happens when I discover someone is parked in my space? I have to walk door-to-door to figure out who it is. There are 29 units in this building. It’s ridiculous. I have a novel concept. How about YOU DON’T FUCKING PARK IN MY FUCKING PARKING SPACE?! Genius, I know. It’s like each of them thinks they are the first person to try and pull this bullshit off when in actuality there are a lot of fucktards swarming the city, parking illegally and who, by the way, have no concept of time.

Today I arrived home after a day out with my Mom and sister celebrating my Mom’s birthday. She had her car in my space while I drove us around town. We arrived home, tired, and there is a car blocking my Mom’s car in. So not only can I not park there but they cannot get out.

Queue me being raging pissed off.

So I storm up the steps and start knocking on every door. No one was home until the 7th door but they weren’t the culprits. Then I see a guy I don’t recognize picking up some luggage that was left in the foyer so I call out to him, “Are you parked in the driveway?” He says yes. I walk towards him saying, “I need you to move your car.” I am sure I looked and sounded really bitchy (because I was!). He says, “I don’t even live here I am just helping someone unload some stuff.” To which I retorted, “I don’t care. Just move your car. It is illegal to park there.” And then he says sarcastically, “I am sorry about your run of bad luck.” And I am all NO YOU DIDN’T JUST FUCKING SASS ME!

Oh yes. He did.

I grumbled, “It’s not bad luck, it’s people being inconsiderate and parking illegally.”

Fucking jackass.

So now I am trying to calm down enough to write a warning to all my tenants because I am over this shit. No more. If any of their guests park there, there will be no warning. I do not care if they were just “running in” or “quickly dropping something off.” You park there, you get towed at your own expense. Period. End of story. I am done being the nice girl.

End rant.


47 thoughts on “This Is Me Angry

  1. *makes air boxing punches*

    Hell yeah girl! Give it to them! I hate that damn disrespectful bullshit behavior. There’s no place or need for it.

    Sincerely, Jaz “Don’t make me break my foot off in your ass” McKenzie!

  2. Dear Sizzle, I feel your pain and you have every right to get pissed off! In fact, having experienced that before, I started to get angry reading your post. LOL I think a note to your tenants is a great idea. Also is there a place that you can post one of those “towed at your own expense” signs? Hopefully after your note they will stop being jackasses and find their own place to park.

    I did have to laugh when you used the word “Sass”. Love it! LOL

  3. Tow the fuckers. Add another sign that says you will tow, if you don’t already have and out some fluorescent red paint on each corner of the curb. And out county tow OB your speed dial.

  4. Tow their asses. Find the person whose “friend” was so rude to you, and give them a written notice. Give the next tenant a written notice, too. Word will get around really REALLY fast.

  5. I would certainly put up a sign warning there will be no warning!
    When I lived on Queen Anne I had my very own parking space (there were 4 of them for the whole building) and I guarded that spot with my life. Had a person or two towed as well. :~)

  6. This is where you have to be creative and at the same time embrace your true Seattle passive-aggressiveness….

    Send out a memo to all of your tenants expressing your sympathy for the damage that was recently caused to the cars that were towed from the lot. Then tactfully explain that the damage was the fault of the tow company and that tenants should take their grievances up with them as well as avoid illegally parking in the lot in the future.

    (wow, its amazing the passive aggressiveness my former roommate taught me)

  7. SERIOUSLY. They should! be towed. Your tenants know the rules, and their guests should be respectful. We have places all over my neighborhood where if you park there, you get ticketed or towed, or: both! It’s called “being a grown-up” and abiding my the rules.

  8. Most tow companies will give you a sign with their name & phone number on it. This also lets the illegal parker know that you really do mean to tow their car!

  9. Oh, TOW! Honestly, if it was me, I would have called and had them towed–letting that guy be the story to live by–and then written the warning. You’re probably nicer than I would have been.

  10. That has nothing to do with you not being the nice girl… this was long overdue. I am surprised you didn’t get anybody towed much earlier!

  11. We have the same problem at my place of work. We have limited parking around the building, but TONS of parking right across the street and behind it. Our employee parking lot is tiny- enough for maybe 8 cars. We often-times wind up with employees having to park in the middle between the cars. This is fine, because we know who they are and can easily ask them to move.

    However, we constantly have people who conveniently “don’t see” the EMPLOYEE PARKING ONLY sign posted all over the place. So they park in our spots, which leaves us with no option but to block them in. Which, we know do purposely. I find it hilarious when these people then have to come inside and ask for us to move. Especially when we are super busy and it takes us 20-30 minutes before we have a moment to come move.

    The really crappy part is that the parking police only come by twice a day, and very rarely do they look through our lot to make sure all the cars have their parking passes. Unless, of course, it’s a day where I had my windows open, and the pass-through breeze blows my permit down and they don’t bother checking the dash. But that’s an entirely different rant.

    Good for you to give them warning and call in the towing trucks. One or two actually get towed, and the problem should cease. I just wish we could do that at work too.

  12. And then if they bitch… punch them in the tit. There just hasn’t been enough tit punching lately.

    You have been more than patient. Tow their asses.

  13. Wow, you haven’t had them towed yet?! You are WAY too nice. If there’s a sign there that says ‘NO PARKING’ well they should be able to follow instructions. If they can’t, the tow their asses.

  14. I had this problem at an apt complex I lived at and after I came home 2 days in a row w/ someone parked in my spot, I started calling a tow company to take care of it. The first 2 times I told my building manager and his solution was to move his car so I could park in his spot. This didn’t work for me.

    After one person was towed, no one ever parked in my spot again.

  15. Precious parking…I don’t care what time of the day it is, if someone is in your damn spot, it’s fucking on!
    I had many people towed when I had my apartment. I had no qualms about it. Got yelled at a few times but hey asshat! The parking is assigned for a reason!
    Send out your warning and then develop a close relationship with the local tow company. I’m sure they will love the business you send their way.

  16. As I was reading, I was wondering why in the hell you bother trying to find the culprit instead of just having their ass towed. Good plan for the future!

  17. Don’t you just love how asshole$ try and redirect the blame instead of taking responsibility for their actions? “I’m sorry for your run of bad luck”. WTF?? Grow up and own your actions!

  18. You are way more tolerant than I am. I would have a towing company put up their sign immediately and tow the hell out of anyone who parks there. Because, as easy as it is to park there now, I’m pretty sure people will just as quickly stop once they begin to get towed. Word like that travels fast.

  19. GOOD. No more nice.
    Depending on the day, I will sometimes call I-Go car sharing to come tow someone if they are illegally parked in one of the reserved spaces. If it’s to the point where I have nowhere to park the car, I DEFINITELY call. But sometimes I just do it because, HELLO! There is a SIGN! DO NOT PARK THERE IF YOU ARE NOT DRIVING AN I-GO CAR.
    Oh dear. Now you’ve got me all wound up. 😉

  20. Block ’em in, and wait until they come and find YOU to ask you to move.


    (Maybe that’s a little too passive.)

  21. Can you legally fine the tenant with the offending friend? If it’s legal, I would send a memo letting them know that whenever you catch someone in your parking spot they will be fined and their friend will be towed. It’s their responsiblity to make sure that no one is parking in your spot, as far as I am concerned.

  22. Oh and signs don’t really work, people just assume that the sign doesn’t mean them or they say they didn’t see it. We have 3 reserved spots for our customers on the side of our building. They are big and red with white lettering. You have no idea how many people “didn’t see that sign”.

  23. What a pain in the ass! Besides the towing, can you institute some kind of fine for people who park there? I don’t know anything about how legal that would be, but it would be cool if people could respect the rules. (I know you are a fellow rule follower, and I know how annoying things like this are because you and I would never even think to do it!)

  24. Your solution is 100% appropriate – the note to forewarn tenants is especially generous. I’d make sure the sign said cars parking illegally will be towed and then just do it. So, the extra step to forewarn your tenants is generous indeed!

    My gripe with Seattle parking are the peeps who park in the 4-6 pm no-parking sections on western & also on madison. I’d like to personally drop tickets on each of them as I drive by. Now, I will confess that I occasionally park in the yellow 30-minute spots in belltown at 5:35 pm (not in the 4-6 no parking sections) without blinking an eye. Technically, I think my car is supposed to be a delivery vehicle of sort – but I’m really not sure.

  25. And the great thing is there are plenty of asshole tow truck companies in the city just waiting to ruin that person’s day when they park there again. It’s the right thing to do.

  26. sizzle! your blog is freakishly hilarious! thanks for visiting my year without….i read on your old blogger that you are self-diagnosing yourself with sugar addiction. i’m frankly surprised that there are a million AA groups and no SA groups-being that most people are probably addicted to sugar….

    anyway, i’ve been reading your posts and you are fabulous. i love your raw edge and inertia.

    you inspire.

  27. Man I’d be furious and frustrated and I think you’re kind to give the warning to your tenants. After that, they (or their friends) park there at their own risk (and expense!). Go sizzle!

  28. Can you just tow them? If you have a sign that says you’ll tow anyone that that parks there or behind the stall, I bet it won’t happen again!

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