Tough Love

I’m pretty good at a pep talk. The rallying cry. The YOU CAN DO IT speech. Just be prepared- I don’t really beat around the bush. Like, ever.

I was thinking about all the “advice” I’ve dolled out recently and it struck me: I should heed my own words.

Such as:

“The longer you keep up this failure talk, the longer you are going to feel like you are alone and suffering.”


“Do you honestly believe that is how you deserved to be loved? To be left? To be emotionally cut off? To not be chosen? To not be fought for? To not have a person you have given everything to not return that in kind? To have a person NEED you but not actually ever make you feel wanted? . . . Love yourself better than that. Love you first! Love you best!”

Um, yeah.

So here is what I am telling myself today:

Dear Self,

Quit succumbing to your old pattern of pleasing everyone first and thinking about yourself second. Stop with the I-am-less-than and prove-it-to-me mentality. It’s boring and not useful. You’re always trying to be one step ahead of everything- knock it off. You’re too damn hard on yourself. Maybe if you’d just shut up for once and LISTEN, you’d finally get it.

You get to choose. YOU! Own that power and wield it wisely.




20 thoughts on “Tough Love

  1. Well, there you are…I was wondering if your bad day had caused you to go hide. Anyway, good post. I think I will try taking some of that advice myself. You are definitely not in a club all by yourself. I don’t know if that kind of support helps you, but it is nice to know I am not the only one…

  2. I am a big fan of the pep talk. I really feel like somedays, if I just give myself a little pep talk, I can get through the worst shit without it affecting my mood.

    Good luck.

  3. Well done! I fall into patterns like this as well (not following my own advice). Letters to Self are v. useful. 🙂

  4. Ok now keep repeating that to yourself because you DO deserve everything wonderful and good and you ARE a wonderful person!

    I’m just going to keep telling you this until it sticks like super glue.

  5. I need to speak and write pep talks to myself quite often these days. And I totally have the one you sent me hanging on one of my walls in the apt. It helps to see it daily, to remind myself what I’m worth, daily.

  6. …BUT!

    It’s so much easier to give the pep talk to others, much harder to take your own advice to heart sometimes! 😉

  7. i need to give one of those exact talks to a friend right now 😛

    also: SO TRUE. i can give advice, and i can take advice from other people, but taking my own advice? apparently impossible.

  8. I love pep talks. I’ll take one anytime you have one to give. Also, I have to come to your website a lot of times. Not only because I’m a reader, but for some reason my daughter loves your header, she’s decided it’s a cartoon. She begs to come “watch the lady on the computer.” So if you are noticing a creepy number of hits from my direction, that is why.

  9. Take My Advice…I’m Not using it! 😛 It sounds funny & it often is! Were we all the person who did everything they thought was right, a lot of the world’s problems would disappear. (only to be replaced with other types of problems-for sure)

  10. …i may be a pain in the ass when it comse to holding on to things, but i always take your advice to heart …without your support, even when you were impartial, i would have been so much worse off …though i may not be the best for pep talks, i am always here for you if you need an ear or help analyzing things

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