I’m the Michael Jackson of Water Aerobics*

There’s a girl in my water aerobics class who often wears a black bathing suit that is, uh, well how do I put this? NOT SUPPORTIVE. As in, when we’re jumping or jogging (which is pretty much most of the class) I am very concerned that one of her tits is going to pop out of her flimsy suit and give us all a show. And yet, despite the fear, I cannot stop watching them. It’s like a tit train wreck.

So that got me thinking. How about we play a game. Fill in the blank of this sentence:

It makes me uncomfortable when _______________.

*I arrived a few minutes after class started last night and all that was left was one lone water mitt so I was forced to pull vintage MJ moves in the pull. The power of MJ compelled me.

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30 thoughts on “I’m the Michael Jackson of Water Aerobics*

  1. As above (men scratching crotches), AND along the lines of bathing suits…when tourists don’t put clothing on over their suits. Very inappropriate for town. Don’t they see that NO ONE is wearing a bikini top with no cover? We show a lot of skin, down here on the sunny island, but PLEASE cover your bum and belly.

  2. I am going to have to agree with Marie. It draws my eye, each and every time, and then I am just embarassed.

    I worry about the tit thing… My suit is fairly supportive but I still feel that they are going to whack me in the face.

    It makes me uncomfortable when people invade my bubble. I don’t like you, get out of the bubble.

  3. Ugh, I agree with the crotch scratching, grabbing, adjusting whatnot. Seriously guys, we notice. You’re not being as discreet as you think.
    Also, excessive PDA and couples fighting in public. Especially in front of children.

  4. Ha! Tit Train Wreck – that’s a good name for a band.

    It makes me uncomfortable when my work’s cleaning lady farts in the hallway. Loudly.

  5. I’m with Marie! We were on our way into a grocery store and this guy scratched and made a very involved readjust, while maintaining PERFECT eye contact. *gag*

  6. When my three-year-old shouts, “Mommy, I have to POOP!!! Do you HEAR ME???” in the grocery check out line, like he did this morning.

    Ug.

  7. It makes me uncomfortable to be judged because my balls itch. And seriously, when it gets twisted around it has to be moved, and I mean RIGHT AWAY. I don’t want it to get snagged or snapped off or something.

  8. There is an old man at the gym that I see all the time when I am swimming…or at least I used to when I went to the gym and was allowed to exercise….anyway, he wears a bathing suit that is so worn it is see through. Seriously. It is pretty bad when the bathing suit is dry but as soon as it gets wet? Well, I always wonder why no one says anything to him. I guess for the same reason I can’t bring myself to say something to him.

  9. “Tit train wreck”, hahaha. I love that.

    I was actually going to say the crotch thing that the first commentor said. A lot of the contact I have with male Middle Eastern students involves ahem, “adjustment”. It’s disturbing, and repulsive. I’m getting the heebies just thinking about it.

  10. it makes me uncomfortable when guys adjust themselves. why? i do not know. but i catch guys doing it all too often and i swear i’m not staring at their pants, haha.

  11. It makes me uncomfortable when I’m staring at a woman’s chest and they totally notice and call me out on it. I need to stop being so obvious, I guess, but why do they have to make me FEEL SO BAD about it?

  12. It makes me uncomfortable when I have to figure out what would be an appropriate comment to make about some other woman’s boobs, or if any comment at all should be made. Very uncomfortable.

  13. Tipping makes me uncomfortable. I’m not against it, I just never know when to do it or how much. I’ll walk for blocks to avoid valet parking.

    I really don’t care if men want to scratch their balls or adjust their packages. It’s not the most charming gesture, but as long as said balls are in pants, it seems like a reasonable and necessary thing to do occasionally. And I’m a lesbian. I’m supposed to hate the thought of penises. But maybe that’s why everything involving them seems very low-stakes to me.

  14. Wow. That’s a lot of boobs and balls comments! Mine seem so serious in comparison. It makes me uncomfortable when I don’t feel like I have the right words to say to someone when they are grieving. I also feel uncomfortable when people compliment me. I NEVER have a good response.

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