My Real Name Does Not Rhyme with “Fantasy”

I finally got to meet my friend Abbersnail from Bright Yellow World fame last night along with her main squeeze, the Horse Whisperer.Β  What a treat! We basically talked each others ears off for three hours over yummy southern food.

me and abigail

We were coming back from Fuel, hot beverages in hand, when a guy standing on the sidewalk stopped us to ask us a question:

“If you had to choose between a perfect day in Hawaii and a perfect day in Seattle which would you choose?”


“You must be drunk.”

I wish I could accurately describe the conversation that then ensued between the three of us, this obvious drunk guy (Hi Frank Gilbert!) and some woman in a sexy black dress (she told me her name but maybe I was drunk (on water) because I can’t recall it). But it would involve me saying my real name and we all know that I don’t do that ’round these parts.

You see, not two minutes before in the coffee shop I had just told Abigail and HW about how people mispronounce my real name ALL the time and how I correct people now whereas when I was younger I just let it slide. It’s often mistaken for a more common shorter version (a name which I do not like one iota, so it’s like salt in the name-wound).

When I told the guy my name he mispronounced it. At least five times. He kept saying it over and over and shaking my hand each time. Drunk people amuse me.

Thanks to Frank and my inability to navigate the downtown streets of Seattle, Abby and HW got a real slice of Seattle. I hope the rest of their trip is full of colorful characters (like Frank & I), good coffee and at least one dount from Top Pot (be my donut eating proxy, please!).


25 thoughts on “My Real Name Does Not Rhyme with “Fantasy”

  1. It’s funny because even though I know your real name, I never use it. Even in person I still call you Sizzle. And whenever we talk about you behind your back we always refer to you as Sizzle.

    That being said, your real name is not hard to pronounce.

    • Whenever you talk about me behind my back meaning when you’re going on and on about your undying love for me?

      That’s what I thought.


  2. Ok. I know it and need to know if I’d pronouce it wrong.

    Mine gets pronounced AND spelled wrong too. All. The. Time.

    Better then being called a dumbass I guess. πŸ™‚

  3. I used to work next to a Thai restaurant, so I went there a lot for lunch. The gal that would sit us always gave me a hard time about my name, saying it was a boys name. Finally I asked what her name was. Ben.

    MMMM. Kingfish.

  4. Crap, now I’m worried that I say your name wrong.

    And, be assured, people ALWAYS get my name wrong too. In my old age I tend to correct them less.

    Also, LOVE King Fish. Love.

  5. I say it with four syllables, although the first two kinda blend together naturally… I probably say it wrong 😦 Everyone says my first name correctly but spells it wrong. I know joke that the spelling of my name on all my employment forms directly relates to how long I’ll last at the job. (Tori is obviously a pseudonym)

  6. Wow, I totally would have mispronounced your name. I am still doing it in my head, actually. Doh!

    It looks like you and Abbersnail and HW had a fun time! I’m jealous!

  7. Crap. Now I’m paranoid that when I finally meet you I will pronounce it wrong. I will just call you Sizzle, or the little nickname version of your name I sometimes call you in my head.
    Er, not that I talk to you in my head very much…
    Hrm. Doh.

  8. I feel your pain. When I introduce myself and people try to spell it, they never get it right. If they see my name, they always mispronounce it. And it has only gotten worse since I got married. My married name is as equally confusing…double whammy.
    Who wants easy names?! Boooring!

  9. In my old hometown, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE except relatives could ever spell my first name right on the first try? Here? That rarely happens. Thanks to a city being named after me in the fine state of Washington!

    My last name, though. *sigh* I’m not named after the mountain, people!

  10. Dude, it was SO FUN! Thank you again for hanging out with us… it was perfection!

    I think my favorite part of the Great Frank Gilbert Incident was when he tried to sing your name in “Oh, Canada.” Or maybe when he tried to say something a perfect day in Hawaii versus a rainy day here, and then confused himself.

    Also of note, we’ve passed Broad Street about four times today, which HW has renamed “Sizzle Street.” He announces it, and then he gets the giggles every time. πŸ˜‰

  11. While I think Sizzle is a perfectly awesome moniker, I must admit I am now dying to know what your real name is. Because I’m trying to think of a name that could look like it rhymes with fantasy but is clearly some other name.


  12. People insert a ‘z’ into my name all the time. I used to correct them, but now I’m just bitchier. Which makes them call me other names. Problem solved.:
    Your streets are far more entertaining than ours will ever be.

  13. You will forever be Sizzle around these parts. As lovely as your name is, after knowing you for so long as your moniker, it just doesn’t stick.

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