Yesterday my friend Long Story Longer tweeted the following:
Long Story Longer: eHarmony guy #3 texts me every day and asks me what I did that day. It’s like having a parole officer. I fear I’m not very good at this.
LSL: Its been about 4 wks, only gone out twice, but weekly phone calls & daily texts. Can I end this thing over email or does it have 2 B a call?
Sizzle: “It’s like having a parole officer.” Um yeah, there is no romance there. End it! Free yourself!
(Our pal) JeniAngel chimed in: Mmmmmm, unfortunately I think an awkward call is in order.
LSL: Oh god. Well that is not at all what I was hoping to hear, @jeniangel. I’m going to need a script. Let me know when you’ve got that done ok?
Then JeniAngel threw me under the bus nominated me: You know who’d be REALLY good at writing a script? @sizzlesays 🙂 (just sayin’)
LSL: Agreed! She’s my main relationship go-to anyway. After Twitter. @sizzlesays, can you help a sister out? No rush.
Sizzle: Script? I’m on it!
My advice to LSL:
So you definitely have to cut the cord on 8:15pm. My advice is to make it as brief as possible. Use less words! Do not over-explain. Maybe something like:
While I’ve enjoyed the times we’ve hung out, I don’t feel like we have the chemistry I am looking for in a match. I really hope you find what you’re looking for and wish you all the best.
Of course, you could elaborate but I caution you against cushioning the blow with too many niceties. It’s hard to make the phone call- I’ve done it and the guy was aghast and kind of pushy about giving him more chances but he waved the red flag too early on for my taste (hi, stalker!) and I just had to employ Broken Record Technique. I stuck to one saying and repeated it each time he tried to engage me in a dialogue about why and how we COULD work as a couple. “Krazy*, I’m sorry but I’ve made my decision. I wish you the best.” Hanging out two times and daily texts does not a romance make. You only owe him honesty.
*Not his real name though fitting.
Later I tweeted to LSL: On second thought, I think you *can* email this guy if you want. Or better yet, text him. 😉
To which she replied: When he texts me tonight to ask what I did today I could say “Broke up with you”? 🙂
Maybe it’s my Aries nature but I L-O-V-E it when people ask for my advice. The only problem is that I *sometimes* (ahem!) give unsolicited advice. I’m really, really working on letting people just BE and not throw my two cents in when it hasn’t been asked for. I need to focus all that advice on myself really and stop being so bossy. It’s just SO MUCH EASIER to tell other people what to do than myself. Luckily in this case, LSL asked me for help which fed my need to share my opinion. (Thanks, LSL!) I could just start an advice column. That way I’d be able to channel my inner Ann Landers. What do you think?