I’ve been getting home after 8pm almost every day for over a week which means I either don’t eat dinner or eat it around 9pm and then fall into bed to get not enough sleep. I am tired to my bones. Between pulling off a fundraiser at work (successfully, I might add) and having multiple issues crop up at the building along with two open apartments, to say I’ve been slammed is an understatement.
So that’s my main excuse for not writing.
My secondary excuse is more emotion-based. Like I said, I was feeling punchy. I even went so far as to write a list entitled: “People I Want To Punch In the Face”. There were eight people on the original list along with the reason(s) why I wanted to cause them harm. It was rather cathartic. A week has passed and I don’t feel as full of rage but at the same time something shifted in me. I just feel D.O.N.E. with the bullshit. Maybe I say this all the time (do I say this all the time?) but I mean it. A switch was flipped and I am on a rampage. The kind that doesn’t lay down and let you walk all over her, treat her like shit, blow sunshine up her ass, take her for granted or be an asshole all over her for the 100th time. Time’s up! I’m walking! Later!
It’s a weird feeling but a good one I think…once I get underneath the spazzing and uncomfortableness of this newfound self-confidence. I’ve always been good at faking self-esteem but lately I am not actually faking it. I just have it. And boundaries and a backbone to boot. I’m not running around being mean to people. Quite the contrary. I’m owning what I want and need and not settling for mediocrity. It’s totally bad ass. If you’re not doing this already, I highly recommend it.
Let’s start a revolution.
“Find a cure/Find a cure for my life/Put a price/Put a price on my soul/Build a wall/Build a fortress around my heart/Oh my god/Oh you think I’m in control/Oh my god/Oh you think it’s all for fun/Is this fun for you?” -Oh My God, Ida Maria