Alligator Tastes Like Chewy Chicken

Sunday I went to a new restaurant opening thanks to Double B who was the craftsman artist behind the interior of the restaurant. It is gorgeous inside and if you live in Seattle, you should definitely go check it out when it officially opens.

The opening included small plates of menu items for tasting and an open bar. I don’t know about you but I firmly believe two of the most magical words in the English language when put together are OPEN and BAR. So of course, I got a little drunk.

My sister’s friend J was there and since she and I are both single, we were checking out the eye candy in the room. Maybe it was my booze goggles but there seemed to be a higher percentage of attractive men in the room than I generally experience in Seattle. While J ogled the pretty boy bartender, I scoped the scene for stocky dudes with shaved heads and/or facial hair. The thing to note is when scamming with a girlfriend it is very important that you have different taste in guys because otherwise? It will not be pretty.

One of Double B’s friends had sold his car and bought a boat called the Morning Wood. So of course when I met him I had to say, “So I hear you have morning wood?” because I am classy like that. He was impervious to my charms. But some other guy came over and apparently was looking down my dress while we talked about restaurants. I didn’t realize he was checking out my rack until later when someone pointed it out. He gave me his card and wrote his wife’s blog url on it and told me to call him anytime so we could go have dinner. Later I was told they have an open marriage but still. . . really? The things I get myself into when tipsy.

Sizzle Fact #46: I am an obnoxious flirt when I am drunk.

Advertisements

28 thoughts on “Alligator Tastes Like Chewy Chicken

  1. Can’t believe he gave you his wife’s URL. I guess some people never cease to surprise you.
    Your comment is fracking hilarious and if that guy doesn’t get it? Well he’s stupid.

  2. This comment: “The thing to note is when scamming with a girlfriend it is very important that you have different taste in guys because otherwise? It will not be pretty.” had me laughing so loud at my desk, my boss asked what was going on.

    So thanks for getting me in trouble.

    Also? I agree, any guy who is not smitten by the morning wood comment is not a guy you want around.

  3. Ooh I have watched construction on this for the past year. I work just a few blocks away and can’t wait to finally try this restaurant!

  4. For the record I am not going to go out with a married guy, a guy who is “getting a divorce” or a guy who is separated, a guy who has an open relationship or a guy who is engaged/dating/living with someone.

    I’ve learned that lesson three times over. I’m done.

    Don’t worry!

  5. I still can’t believe that you didn’t catch him checking out your rack.I mean… you have to used that by now. Right? Based on the pics I’ve seen. It’s hard to miss.

    Showoff! lol. πŸ˜›

  6. Lower Queen Anne is totally my hood in Seattle. I was anxiously awaiting the opening of the new restaurant when I was there this summer. I am even more anxiously awaiting my move BACK to the LQA.

    P.S. Open marriage? Not happening.

  7. Yeah, that business card guy needs to work on his game. Also, I totally wish I would have thought to advise you to tell Mr. Morning Wood that you have a nautical-themed Pashmina afghan. (Haaa.)

  8. Oh this post has me wanting to say so many things! (1) I want to see photos of that mosaic tile floor. Dreamy! (2) In my raging single days, two girlfriends and I would go out together often. We all had very different taste in men, so not only did we not trip over one another, but we were also able to scope out places for one another … and bring boys over to the group that fit someone else’s bill. heheh (3)You’re a big flirt even when you’re sober. What?! You are!!!

  9. Tee hee, I was about to ask if this was the date you went on and then saw your comment above. πŸ˜‰
    I try not to be a judgey-mcjudgerson but I don’t know anyone who has pulled off an open relationship successfully. I’m sure there is someone out there who can prove me wrong but for now I am going to live in my comfy little no-open-relationship world.

  10. Just found your blog via Brandy’s, and l-o-v-e it. I’ll have to check out the restaurant when I’m in Seattle for the holidays.

    And yes, I will repeat everyone else’s ASTONISHMENT at the guy who gives out his wife’s URL. Even if they’re in an open marriage, what kind of wife wants to schedule her husband’s booty calls? What kind of husband asks her to? Eww.

  11. obviously i need to take flirting lessons from you. i have no idea how to flirt. seriously. can you start an online course on flirting? pretty please?

    i also want to see pictures of the boots and know how they fit. i,too, have calf issues.

Comments are closed.