Super Sonic

I think it goes without saying that apartment living is not for those who want total silence and quiet 24-7. There are 29 units in my old building so not only are there a lot of us under one roof but the floors are hardwood and creaky in spots. Living in such close proximity to other people means you are going to hear (or smell) them from time to time.

The part where things get tricky is when one tenant is incredibly sensitive to noise and another tenant is rather loud by her very nature. Worse is when these tenants live stacked on top of each other.

You remember the lady who complained about the two kittens making excessive noise? Yeah, well. . . the kittens and their owner moved back to Portland and she’s got a new neighbor now. One that apparently is a lead foot walker and the owner of a very creaky bed that squeaks loudly when she, uh, you know, gets some action.

(Side note: I would like some action. Just putting a wish out into the Universe.)

So they’ve had a few face-to-face run ins. The tenant who can not tolerate noise can be very confrontational. She’s direct and biting with her words. She told the noisy neighbor that she didn’t want to know her name because she doesn’t want to be friends and also left her a note berating her for walking around in her apartment at all hours of the night and making too much noise when she is fucking (yes she used that word). The noisy neighbor is on the passive aggressive side and also a people pleaser. She wrote back and now the damn situation has again escalated to my intervention.

Why can’t people get along? I mean seriously. GAH!

So at this point I am mediating an impossible situation. Noisy can’t walk softer since she claims she is already walking around on eggshells in her own home due to the increasing hostility of her downstairs neighbor. Ms. Sensitive To Noise refuses to wear ear plugs even though she’s not getting enough sleep and thus, being even more crabby about the situation. In an effort to avoid an all out war, I’m requesting they both filter their complaints through me and not each other. Noisy has to put her bed on the floor for the time being so that the squeaking does not keep Sensitive up. Sensitive is already on the look out for a house. She knows she’s no longer cut out for apartment living (her words) and so it is only a matter of time until she can cut and run. At this point I would let her out of her lease early just to rectify this situation sooner.

In happier apartment news, I showed both open apartments last night to two different people (both lawyers or soon-to-be-lawyers oddly enough) and they both put holding fees on them. HALLELUJAH! Fingers crossed that the credit checks clear.

And for some follow up- there is no one squatting in the vacant apartment despite the Music Man’s pronouncement as such. I used paper clips to boobie trap the door and the one time they had fallen it turned out the maintenance guy had come by to do some work and used the bathroom. Then when I ran into Music Man the other day he was going on about how he thinks he’s just hearing the echo of people walking in the stairwells and hallways and that no one is actually up there. (WHAT DID I TELL YOU!?)

Head? Implode.

People are seven shades of crazy most days. I’m telling you.


19 thoughts on “Super Sonic

  1. I am one of those sensitive to noise people, but I don’t think to the extreme that your tenant is. I bitched a lot, as you may have read, about my old neighbor who would stomp like Godzilla in kitten heels and blare her bass but I’d lived there a few years with no issues from previous tenants, so I feel my complaints were
    reasonable. But I agree, either move to a property where the units are spaced out more, are newer with better insulation (like I did) or suck it up and get a house.

    Living makes noise. As long as it’s not excessive, people should really try to be more flexible.

  2. Thank god Mizz Sensitive to Noise is looking for somewhere else to live. I’m sorry, but if you’re that sensitive to noise, why the hell aren’t you living on the top floor?

  3. Oh god, I have no clue how you put up with this crap. My super-sensitive bionic ear woman is just jealous ‘cuz she’s not getting any.

  4. Okay – things are looking up here. Music Man is no longer hearing ghosts, and hopefully the new neighbor’s sex will drive the jealous crazy noise lady away! All of your problems might be solved soon!

  5. I’m a renter and I definitely attest to the fact that there are many, many kinds of crazy. As you know. I’m not saying anything new here. I have my sensitivities, for example, the guys who hork up phlegm balls whilst on their porch smoking (the noise and the stink are irritating), the man above us who regularly holds animated conversations with his bird. And by “animated,” I am including arguments. With his bird. Those are things I don’t complain about because it goes with the territory. 100s of people living in close quarters is going to come with certain annoyances. That being written, I CANNOT HANDLE INCESSANTLY BARKING DOGS. The yappers are the worst. I can’t expect everyone to be an animal expert (and I’m certainly not, though I do pay attention), but I just wish other people would have some consideration and train their dogs. Because they ARE trainable. EASILY. And barking is common, sure, but it’s not a “normal” behavior to bark all the time. If your dog doesn’t STFU, there’s something up. It is up to the parent of the fur-kid to figure out what that might be. So, yeah. I do complain about that (because it goes on for hours and starts at 7-8 am on weekends). I’m interested in knowing your thoughts on how people should handle issues like this, just for my own personal curiosity. You should draw up some sort of Renter Etiquette Guide, seriously.

    Sensitive lady is a dumbfuck for agreeing to live in anything but a top level apartment. She sounds like a horrible woman.

  6. I can sort of sympathize with the noise thing, because I remember in our DC apartment we would hear the weirdest sounds above us, like someone was rolling around their apartment in an office chair at all hours. But to get nasty and start filing complaints about it… I mean, it’s an apartment. It happens. At least that woman knows it and is looking for a house.

  7. I know I’ve said this before – and apologised for it as I say it… but your stories about your tenants really make me laugh 😉

  8. My ex and I were yelled at by his neighbor one night…”SHUT. UP!” Hilarious and mortifying all wrapped in to one. Our windows were open, and we were in the heat of passion; what can I say? 😉 Now, though, I’m very careful about that stuff. My neighbor DOWNSTAIRS is noisy; he’s always gettin’ some action and waking me up. Luckily, I sleep on the sofa most nights so I don’t have to hear it a lot.

    Seriously, I don’t know how you deal with this stuff; I’d be in Bonkerville by now if I were in your place!

  9. You know what’s craziest of all (to me) is that I heartily agree with your first sentence (“I think it goes without saying that apartment living is not for those who want total silence and quiet 24-7.”) and yet, AND YET there are people who move into apartment buildings expecting it to be as quiet as a house, and the tenants to be as quiet as a mouse (or a slew of mice, as it were), and I just want to shake those people because, REALLY? REALLY you have a problem with me listening to music at Not Even A Really Loud level at 2:00pm ON A SUNDAY? Our apartment building is over one-hundred years old. If you can’t deal with the fact that you hear nearly everything in a building that old (and poorly insulated), then move! I hear my upstairs neighbor doing EVERYTHING (sex totally included) and I have never once complained. Because I like my apartment and I actually like hearing people moving about. The parts I don’t want to hear? (Like the aforementioned sexing.) Headphones, headphones, headphones.

  10. I’m sorry but did all the crazies happen to find your apartment building and move in? Because at this point that’s what it looks like. I mean WOW. There are some reaaallly SPECIAL people out there.

  11. While I don’t agree with the aggresssiveness of the note sent at least they TRIED to work it out for themselves first. I hate it when neighbors go straight to the landlord without directly addressing the situation first.

  12. At least that bitchy lady knows she’s no longer cut out for apartment living. I guess I’ve lucked out (although I do sleep with ear plugs) because it just doesn’t bother me that much. And, um, I like to hear when my neighbors are getting lucky. (Don’t tell.) :>

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