Apologies for my first-ever password protected post yesterday. I had some heavy stuff that I needed to vent about but it wasn’t stuff that I felt comfortable having out there for just anyone to find. And by “anyone” I mean anyone associated with work. If you want the password, just email me! I felt a lot better, as I always do, after writing about it. It didn’t make the issues disappear but it helped me sort out how to tackle them. I appreciate everyone’s comments and advice.
I think part of my frustration was that I was swallowing a big part of my personality. I am an assertive person. Hell, I TAUGHT assertiveness for years to women and girls. But sometimes I lose my footing and second guess myself. I know that I can be an over-sharer. That I can often be inappropriate. That maybe I am too open. I think I’m pretty hyper-aware of my limitations and faults but I’ve been working on not letting them define me. Because we’re all imperfect. I just refuse to wallow in it.
So yesterday after venting I finally grabbed my confidence by the proverbial reins and spoke up on my own behalf and guess what? It was good! Sure I was a bit scared and maybe my voice wavered but I didn’t go off half-cocked nor did I lie down like a door mat. And afterwards? I felt so much better. The problem is not fixed but it’s being faced.
Have you ever noticed how that is often the biggest hurdle? Facing the problem.Most of the time we create these awful scenarios where a confrontation would inevitably blow up if we said or did anything to stand up for ourselves. In our minds the idea of it paralyzes us when really we just need to tell the fear to STFU and do what we’re afraid to do. 9 times out of 10 it will not even come close to the horror we fear it will be. I am reminded of this every time I speak up for myself. I encourage you to do it too. Liberate yourself from imagined fear!
Is there something you’re avoiding dealing with? Are you imagining the worst that could happen and letting it silence you?