I was at Jenny Two Times’ house on New Year’s Eve morning, fresh from a solid 9 hours of coveted sleep, when I went to the kitchen to make my morning cup of tea. I opened the fridge to see a carton of half and half and a carton of milk. I grabbed the milk and poured a couple tablespoons into my cup. As I puttered around her apartment getting ready, I drank my tea thinking it tasted a little different. I wondered if I had put in too much Splenda. I carried on.
Jenny came into the kitchen as I was sitting down at the table eating my eggs and toast. She’d made coffee for herself and went to the fridge to retrieve the carton of half and half. She saw the carton of milk (that I had used- now twice since I was on my second cup of tea, mind you) and said, “Oh I should throw this out. It’s been in here since November.”
I spit out my tea.
“November?! I AM DRINKING THAT RIGHT NOW! Oh my God I am going to throw up.”
I leapt from my chair and hurled myself towards the sink, discarding my cup of tea and frantically looking about for something to rinse my mouth out with.
Luckily, I did not get sick. Only psychologically.
I came home from my trip to the Oregon coast to a pretty empty fridge. I was craving toast so I grabbed some bread from the fridge and made some. I was on my second piece when I spied something on the crust that did not look like a seed or grain. Upon further inspection I realized it was in fact mold.
I should really turn my lights up brighter so I can see and maybe, not make food when I am half-awake.
Let’s recap. In the past month I have:
- Eaten spoiled chicken (and paid the price mightily)
- Drank sour milk
- Ingested moldy bread
I’m looking at this as me just strengthening my constitution. By accident.