I Swear I’m Only Like This For a Few Days*

I’m irrationally irritated at mundane things. A sample list of thoughts that have crossed my mind in the last 24 hours:

Why is everyone in my way?

Why are people talking?

Why can’t I be invisible?

Why is work so much work?

Did I just stare off into space for five minutes during a meeting? Is someone asking me a question? Ooops.

Why are you crossing the street in the pouring down rain in the pitch dark at a snails pace where there is no cross walk? Do you want to die?! Why are you so stupid?

Why do I keep dropping everything?**

Why am I still hungry?

Where did my motivation go? All  I feel like doing is sitting on the couch watching American Idol.

How slutty is 21 lovers at the age of 36 on the scale of Prude to Free Love? Can you include oral on that list?

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups sound really good right now! No they don’t. They are gross. I do not believe your lies. Eat a spoonful of natural peanut butter and a square of dark chocolate and PRETEND. Fine. (pout)

I have the attention span of a gnat.

How hard is it to just be in a good mood? Pretty hard when your hormones are driving.

Can I just hide in my apartment until I am nice again?

*Okay, maybe a week. Tops.

**Seriously why do I become a klutz when I have PMS?

35 thoughts on “I Swear I’m Only Like This For a Few Days*

  1. Your staring of into space during a meeting made me laugh. I used to do that all the time and then hope with all my might that no one would ask me a question about what was just being talked about. Attention span of a gnat during meetings…not just during PMS.

    21 = not slutty.

  2. I was totally craving peanut butter cups and dropping things like crazy yesterday. I wonder if I have PMS too? I can’t tell because I don’t have the parts to have the period part so I guess I’ll never know.

    I don’t think 21 equals slutty at all. And I think I have said this before but IS a person supposed to count oral on the number list? I never am sure.

  3. There’s no such thing as slutty. If a term is not applied to men in the same way as to women, then it’s a false paradigm. Just saying.

  4. I’m having one of those days (weeks) too. There’s a quote that I love, strangely it’s from John Mayer. I was at one of his concerts, and he said, “I’m having one of those days where I don’t know if I’m being an asshole, or if I really am smarter than everyone I’ve encountered.” I have those days regularly.

  5. I’ve read that it’s an honest to god side effect of PMS and I know this very, very well because once I even get a stroke of PMS I start tripping and walking into walls and wind of with bruises like I’ve got cirrhosis of the liver.

    I also develop a propensity for run-on sentences.

    Yours in PMS,

  6. OMG! This made me laugh out loud. Sounds just like me when I used to have PMS. It’s a thing of the past for me now, thank god.


  7. And can I add to this list (although I really connect with one about the person strolling across the street at snail’s pace in the dark and the rain – I call them Stealth Pedestrians and oh the hatehatehate) –

    what’s with these women who “remember PMS” – how unfair. I want to “remember PMS” too.

  8. Your post CRACKED me up!! It’s like you were living inside my head last week….writing everything down to use against me later!

    And the John Mayer quote in the comments? –> “I’m having one of those days where I don’t know if I’m being an asshole, or if I really am smarter than everyone I’ve encountered.” PURE Brilliance!!

  9. If you are wondering about the number 21 at age 36 as being slutty, then I must be a downright whore. =/

    In any event, I ponder most of these same things on a daily basis… that week or not. It’s especially horrible when you work with the public. =)

    Go hide, have a Reese’s, and seethe away. We’ll still luv ya!

  10. 21 at age 36 is about right I would say. I know that for me there was a specific year or two that could be called my slutty period.

    I have some of those thoughts on a weekly basis. I can’t even imagine having hormones thrown on top of my normal male insecurities.

    Yes, women are much stronger than men in this regard.

  11. Seriously. My ovaries have been attempting to claw their way out of my body (or so it FEELS) for the past few days and it makes me want to BREAK EVERYONE. And everything. Oh, and eat popcorn.

  12. Well, if you do the math, 21 at 36 is really just about 1 per year averaged out. Hence, not slutty.

    Course, I think Em with her false paradigm approach is really on point in this case.

  13. 21 not slutty. 210? Slutty. 🙂

    I have those days too, only I have a few “don’ttalktome,don’ttalktome,don’ttalktome GODDAMMIT WHY DO PEPOLE KEEP TRYING TO TALK TO ME?!?”s thrown in there. There is a reason I hide from the world when I have PMS. 🙂 Once? No joke? I almost beat the crap out of a vending machine because it wouldn’t take my dollar and I didn’t want to talk over to the other dorm and use it’s machine. I very nearly tipped the thing onto myself BEFORE I realized that I was being completely irrational.

  14. I feel your pain, Sister. Nothing that a nice glass of red can’t help. Or the whole bottle. And 21 is not slutty. You want to know what the right number is for your age: Whatever your number is! Love you, Sizzle!

  15. Yeah, I just ate TWO entire cakes this past week. I blamed PMS. My boyfriend believed me, so I’m not going to tell him the real reason was I just REALLY wanted cake.

  16. Ya, I was feeling that three days ago. It happens.

    So how about them goals for 2010? Vacation to an island where the skies are blue and so is the ocean … yea… sounds freaking awesome!

  17. As someone who is a klutz anyway, every four weeks or so I am downright dangerous. Not to mention pissed off during that time, which I think only increases the violence of my klutziness. I think wanting the world to go away on these days is normal, or at least I know it is for me.

  18. I can’t believe you put your (not slutty at all) number on your blog. That’s balls.

    I’m sorry you’ve had a rough go of it lately, but you know I like it when you show all your delicious sides. It feels icky, but it’s just normal life to have these kinds of days and weeks. And when you put it out there, I think it normalizes it for everyone else.

    PS I’m such a damn klutz when I’m on my period.

  19. I’m a klutz during PMS as well. My mom always told me it was because our bodies swell and it disorients us and makes our fingers fat and clumsy. I don’t know if that’s true, but it sort of makes sense to me!
    I was sort of angry at everybody earlier today. Like, I just wanted every single person on the train to pleaseshutupthankyouverymuch. Then I took an accidental 2.5 hour nap when I got home and felt better. 🙂

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