Humbled

I am generally a believer in good.

But yesterday? The internet really made me a believer.

I was not going to ask for help. It’s not my style. Ask any of my friends and particularly, Mr. Darcy, who has repeatedly told me he’s going to help me pay the vet bill to which each and every time I have responded, “NO YOU WILL NOT.” Because I like to be emphatic and stubborn. And, okayfineIadmitit, proud.

But when Tomato wrote that post and I read his kind words, I started to think about how if the tables were turned, I’d do what he was doing. I have done what he did. So why am I refusing to let people help me when I need help? I suppose that’s another topic for therapy. I am not comfortable feeling needy or vulnerable or weak. In that moment when the vet announced the estimate I was simultaneously overwhelmed with worry over my cat’s lives and utter panic over my depleted bank account and I just. . . crumbled.

You can’t always pick yourself up all by yourself.

It’s a very good thing to have friends who are not only generous but also pushy (cough TOMATO cough- in a good way, of course) and for that I am thankful. I am so very, very moved by the outpouring of support and love via your sweet words and generous donations. I woke up yesterday to hundreds of dollars in my pay pal account and I cried. At 6am. I CRIED.

You have, time and time again, showed up for me and even if I have not met you in person I want you to know you have touched my life and my heart and I am sincerely and profoundly grateful.

To say thank you seems small but it is all I have. These two little big words: Thank you.

This is me virtually hugging you.

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29 thoughts on “Humbled

  1. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting and being able to support oneself. On a day-to-day basis. That said, there will always be times in our lives when we need to lean on others. For emotional, physical and even financial support. It doesn’t show weakness. It just shows you’re human. Here’s hoping the help and love and support keeps flooding in. You deserve it.

  2. “even if I have not met you in person I want you to know you have touched my life and my heart and I am sincerely and profoundly grateful”

    See, that’s how I feel about some of the things you have written about on this blog. Giving a little back was just a way to let you know how much I/we appreciate what you are doing.

  3. One of the reasons I love you so much is that you sincerely *don’t* realize how much you’re loved and appreciated by so, so many. You’re real. You’re genuine. And you’re an amazing friend and person.

    I’m not that hopeful of a person, but I’ve been amazed lately at the power, spirit and generosity of the internetz with any kind of support. I’m so glad to have more supporting evidence of that.

    Remember, chica: you are loved.

  4. You’re just one of those people that even though many of us have never met you face-to-face, we’ve grown to love your warmth, compassion, and honesty. You’re one of the good guys. You make it easy.

  5. We know you’d do the same for others if needed–that alone makes it so worthwhile! It’s actually very fun and affirming to an act of kindness for someone else! πŸ™‚

  6. Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to help, because that feels good too. Think of all those ripples of goodness spreading out from your little home right now, across the world. The Internet is the best πŸ™‚

  7. You deserve it, and by association, so do your kitties. Sadly, sometimes only by asking do we learn our value to others… Happily, your bank account answered you this morning!

  8. This made me teary. It really is refreshing to (once again) see such a level of generosity and compassion in friendternets. I really hope to meet you sooner than later! xo

  9. I am soooo not the kind to ask for help either. And yet, I will offer it freely and willingly to others without asking for anything in return. What’s up with that?
    Well, at the end of the day, I am touched by how much good a community can do and I’ve seen it time and time again.
    We love you and the kitties, Sizz!

  10. I’m overdrawn (GOD sobriety makes me honest) and so I have to wait a couple days. And then I am sending you money. Don’t let me forget. Because I love you. Because you are a generous, generous girl. Because you are a warm quilt.

    xo

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