I am generally a believer in good.
But yesterday? The internet really made me a believer.
I was not going to ask for help. It’s not my style. Ask any of my friends and particularly, Mr. Darcy, who has repeatedly told me he’s going to help me pay the vet bill to which each and every time I have responded, “NO YOU WILL NOT.” Because I like to be emphatic and stubborn. And, okayfineIadmitit, proud.
But when Tomato wrote that post and I read his kind words, I started to think about how if the tables were turned, I’d do what he was doing. I have done what he did. So why am I refusing to let people help me when I need help? I suppose that’s another topic for therapy. I am not comfortable feeling needy or vulnerable or weak. In that moment when the vet announced the estimate I was simultaneously overwhelmed with worry over my cat’s lives and utter panic over my depleted bank account and I just. . . crumbled.
You can’t always pick yourself up all by yourself.
It’s a very good thing to have friends who are not only generous but also pushy (cough TOMATO cough- in a good way, of course) and for that I am thankful. I am so very, very moved by the outpouring of support and love via your sweet words and generous donations. I woke up yesterday to hundreds of dollars in my pay pal account and I cried. At 6am. I CRIED.
You have, time and time again, showed up for me and even if I have not met you in person I want you to know you have touched my life and my heart and I am sincerely and profoundly grateful.
To say thank you seems small but it is all I have. These two little big words: Thank you.
This is me virtually hugging you.