The other day my Mom told Finn that I had a new boyfriend and that they were going to meet him on Easter. His reply? “When Tee Tee has a boyfriend they need alone time and like to be by themselves.” Uh, yes? Though I’m not sure where he is getting his particular piece of information about romantic relationships. He promptly followed comment with, “Maybe he will be good at Easter egg hunting?”

Finn takes his egg hunting very seriously. He’s been practicing for weeks! I’ve already warned Mr. Darcy that he better brush up on his hunting techniques. The pressure is on. Not only is he meeting my Mom and my nephew for the first time but he’s also got to show his mettle in hunting.

The other night at dinner my sis and mom asked Finn what he had been building in the sandbox that day. He said, “The Parthenon.” I am not shitting you. He is not even four years old yet! He didn’t even mispronounce it! I don’t even think I could tell you what the Parthenon looks like. (IΒ  can now because I looked it up.)

A few weeks ago, Mr. Darcy and I were talking about what we’d want to name our (future) kids (stay with me, this relates to what I’ve been talking about, I promise). He said he’d always wanted to name a boy Agememnon. I was trying not to seem too taken aback but I was like NO WAY JOSE inside. I mean, I can barely spell that. It’s a name that is ripe for teasing. And you can bet we’ll never find a key chain or pencil with that name engraved on it. His second name suggestion was Balthazar. All I could think of was Balthazar Getty from Lord of the Flies. I questioned if he was pulling my leg because I am forever gullible but he said them with such a straight face and claimed to be serious so I believed him. I mentioned the name choice to my Mom and she was like, “um NO.”


Turns out Mr. Darcy was only joking around when he suggested the name and was kind of mortified that I’d told my Mom. SERVES YOU RIGHT, LIARPANTS! When I told him about Finn building the Parthenon he said, “He and Agememnon could play together at the Parthenon. See? It makes perfect sense.”

No, my sweet man, it doesn’t. But you sure make me laugh.


30 thoughts on “Finnology

  1. The Parthenon? That is pretty amazing.

    My son wanted a brother to name Happy Meal for a while, my husband suggested Thor.

  2. Sort of a perfect display of how boys and men, smart as they are and grow to be, pretty much fundamentally think the same at any age; what they’re doing and thinking in the moment makes complete sense to them. It’s good we get the benefit of entertainment from both!

  3. As a young “Delmer” I was denied the thrill of getting one of those pretend vanity license plates kids put on their bikes in the 60’s. I remember my mom’s friend trying to convince me that “Steve” was a reasonable alternative.

  4. My sister’s husband wants to name their first son Table Bert.

    Boys are weird.

    Also, it seems like Agememnon should have a couple of tongue clicks in the pronunciation. Would that make you like it more? With tongue clicks?

  5. Will this be the first time your boyfriend meets most of your family? I remember going to my girlfriend’s mother’s house for Christmas in 2008 and had to meet a ton of her family in one go. That was fun. Ahem.

  6. Finn! I miss Finn stories. (Sorry I’m sucked for kids at this age.) The Boy had a thing about the oracle at Delphi.

    Speaking of which Boyo went to school with a girl named Cleopatra — good god. Her parents were Egyptians (both grew up in Canada), really… what the hell. Then there was Napoleon… they named this kid unironically Napoleon. Don’t do that. LOL.

  7. How do boyfriends pull off these poker faces? I am such a horrible liar. My mother once tried to get me “in trouble” with a boyfriend by asking him if he knew of my desire (and her disgust) to get married in Vegas by Elvis. He took it all in stride and even added that he had great ideas for Star Trek costumes. The look on my mom’s face was priceless. Another boyfriend had a roman numeral and in our talks of child naming I said I had no wish to carry on that tradition and was happy that the hospital asks the mother for the name of the child. He just laughed and said if I really named our son George, he would tell everyone I named him after Bush.

  8. Parthenon. That cracks my cuss up.

    Once when I was drunk I thought it would be funny to name my kid Cineplex Odeon after the theaters. It actually wouldn’t be funny, so we went with Owen.

  9. I like the sense of humor this guy displays. Very good for you Sizz.

    Just do me, you, your fellow and any future girl you may have a favor and never, ever name a child what I heard an the airport in Spokane Washington 2 years ago.

    I’m sitting waiting for my flight when I hear the announcer page “Vonorrhea”. Yes, it rhymes with Gonorrhea. Talk about an OMG don’t do that name. Sheesh.


  10. Mr. Mom was as serious as a heart attack during my second pregnancy (a boy) that we would name him Otto. Why did he love it? Otto is spelled the same backwards and forwards. And Otto is a guy you can have a beer with.

    No shit.

    I escaped with Parker by the skin of my teeth!

  11. I love, love, love Finn stories.

    And pardon me while I choke on my salad about you guys discussing kids’ names, but that is seriously damn funny that he suggested those and you told your mom. I kind of love that. I think it serves you both right πŸ™‚

  12. Balthazer worked just fine for my great-grandpappy, and you could at least be SURE no other kid in his school would have that name.

    I think. πŸ™‚

    The keychain thing? I have two boys with not terribly unusual names, but STILL can’t find tchotckes with their names on. I don’t think it’s scarred them too terribly. Come on, you can’t tell me that ‘Wyzrd’ and ‘Korbel’ are so strange…

  13. I didn’t even remember that Getty was in Lord of the Flies. I only know him from his numerous affairs and the L.A. museum in his honor.

  14. When my sister was pregnant with my niece, I suggested Clementine. I almost had her believing that I was serious. You’d think she’d have learned, since 5 years earlier I had suggested Mookie for my nephew’s name…

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