I arrive home after a 12 hour day to find a moving truck in my parking space. Two guesses who the thoughtless, rude, annoying person was who didn’t have the decency to ask if she could use my driveway is. I bet you don’t even need two guesses, do you?
Yep, The Smell Lady.
I illegally park my car on the sidewalk, flip on my hazard lights and storm up to the top floor. On the way I encounter movers. Spanish speaking movers who, through gesticulations, decipher my request to move their truck. I pull my car far up into the grass so they can park behind me. BECAUSE I AM NICE.
I head directly to her apartment, skipping the tirade about her not asking to use my space and instead plunge directly into my request. I noticed she had multiple garbage bags and a mattress/box spring set out on the marble steps of the front stoop when I left for work this morning with a hand written sign that read, “Salvation Army.” Upon my return I noticed that the mattress and box spring are still there, uglying up the entry way to our otherwise respectable and classy building. The landlords would have a shitfit if they saw that.
“Hey, I notice the mattress and box spring are still on the front stoop. You’ll need to get rid of them.”
“Yes, well they didn’t pick them up today. I was going to call someone tomorrow to pick them up.”
“Yeah, that’s not acceptable. You’re going to have to remove them tonight.”
“But we are moving. Can you recommend anyone that will pick it up?”
“Used mattresses are very hard to have picked up. You’ll just need to take them with you. You can’t leave them there.”
“But we are moving.”
“I’m well aware that you are moving. But makes the building look like shit so move them tonight. Thanks.”
I CAN ONLY BE NICE FOR SO LONG.
Her broken record technique irritates me. It’s like having a conversation with a wall. She’s immovable in her stupidity. But today is her last day ever here! REJOICE!
I hope I don’t haul off and tit punch* her tonight during the final walk through of her apartment. I have a feeling she will do something to inspire it. She’s predictable that way.