This Conversation Is Being Recorded

I’ve had a few run ins with the Music Man in that last couple weeks. None to the level from before like where he’d leave multiple harassing messages on my voicemail accusing me of recording his messages (HELLO IT IS A VOICEMAIL WHICH RECORDS MESSAGES!) or of someone squatting in the apartment above him or any number of random thoughts that ran through his addled brain. It’s been downright quiet where he is concerned even though he still insists on playing his music at  a volume that neighbors a block away can hear.

He has a new neighbor above him. This neighbor has complained a couple of times that MM’s music is played at a bothersome volume. Apparently MM has gone up to his neighbor’s apartment and request that he stomp on the floor when the music is too loud rather than report it to me because when he reports it to me, I write him up. Three writes up in a certain time period can mean eviction. MM does not want that so he goes all super uber passive aggressive and manipulative and tries to play all sides. Sadly for him, we’re all more clever than him to fall for his bullshit.

In typical Music Man fashion, when the upstairs neighbor did stomp on the floor as he had asked him to do, MM retaliated by slamming something repeatedly against his ceiling and keeping the music at top volume. Um, this is not a compromise. But this is exactly what you get when trying to reason with crazy.

That’s not the worst of it though. Recently, Music Man has decided to turn his laser paranoia eyes to his former neighbor, the infamous Pot Head who recently vacated the building. MM claims that Pot Head has hacked into his internet and is stealing it. I ran into him while cleaning the laundry room and he went on and on about Pot Head and that he knew he had keys and was upstairs in the apartment above him. I tried casually saying that Pot Head and his upstairs neighbor do not know each other to which MM rolled his eyes and basically called me naive.

Whatever, Mister Paranoia.

I saw him last night as I was unloading groceries from my car in the driveway.  He was walking by and at first just nodded towards me but I said hello because I am friendly to my tenants. I’m keeping the line between nice and door mat firmly in place, especially with him. He stopped, looked at me with a kind of crazy eyed look and proceeded to tell me that Pot Head has keys to the apartments and I should be careful. That he is upstairs all the time saying things about him, making fun of him, and laughing. I foolishly said, “He doesn’t live here anymore and he gave me his keys when he moved out. Besides, they don’t know each other.” He scoffed. HE ACTUALLY SCOFFED AT ME. Then his face changed and became much softer and he looked me up and down and said, “You look amazing, by the way.”

Uh, thanks?

I walked towards the front door and encouraged him to call the landlords if he had these concerns. Because that is what he is SUPPOSED to be doing but instead he complains on the sly to me and apparently is “keeping a log” of all the transgressions against him.

Awesome. He should start a blog.

20 thoughts on “This Conversation Is Being Recorded

  1. This guy sounds like a huge freaking pain in the ass for sure but I also feel sorry for him. It must suck to be that paranoid, don’t you think?

  2. oh god, that blog would be AWFUL. i actually read a blog once by someone who was clearly Not All There, and it was painful and sort of sad to read. although maybe if he had a blog he could get it all out and stop telling it all to YOU? 🙂

  3. I think, though, that his blog wouldn’t quite have your flair… I think he should start a blog and you should select his post of the week to give background and commentary on.

  4. I’m sorry he’s being so weird. It’s really a challenging job. Managing a building is a seriously challenging job.

  5. I love it. Will have to keep that in mind next time I’m about to go postal. Throw in a very nice compliment right before going batshit wacko.


    PS: He is right, you are amazing. 😉

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