Yesterday I started back on Phase 1 of South Beach because I need a kick-start, something healthy to focus my energy on, and, frankly, a wake up call. So I made myself get on the scale, document my measurements and clear out my fridge and pantry of any off-limits foods.

It isn’t that I’ve fallen off the SB wagon completely. It’s just that I’ve made concessions here and there that have added up to a lifestyle that I’m not comfortable with. Socializing around food and drink can be dangerous for me because I will probably drink and I will probably let something I shouldn’t eat go into my mouth. Bad food abounds when you eat out. And booze is delicious.

It’s been a year now since I’ve been following the SB lifestyle, this way of eating (lean proteins, veggies, whole grains, fruits, very limited alcohol, no refined sugar, no white flour, no processed foods) and it’s hands down the best for me. Everyone has to find their “thing” and South Beach is mine. It just makes sense with how I live and what I enjoy eating. Do I enjoy eating sugar and pasta and french bread with salty butter? You bet I do. But how those things leave me feeling after having cleansed my body of them for months? Is very, very not good. I seriously crash from eating refined sugar. And it is not pretty.

Would I like to lose more weight? Yes. Hell yes. I dropped some 30 lbs in the past year but in the past 6 months have just been hovering at the 5lb gain range. I’ve completely slacked on following an exercise routine. For a while I blamed work and my schedule. But there is no excuse. I prioritize what is important to me and clearly, exercise is not at the top of the list. There’s a bunch of emotional baggage that goes along with that which I discuss ad nauseum with my therapist so you don’t have to listen to it. (You’re welcome.) So I am trying to figure this out. How do I make my life work for me? How do I fit in all my obligations AND work out and find time to cook? Because living a SB lifestyle means you have to cook. A girl cannot live on celery and no sugar peanut butter alone.

The weather is changing which inspires me to get outside. We Seattleites soak up any rays of sun we can get, they are so fleeting. I see walks and hikes and maybe tennis in my future. More pool time and definitely, a yoga routine at the new studio near me. I see  making my health a top priority and work/social obligations not having as much weight. Because I want to feel good about my body. I want to be IN my body. It’s hard to describe but. . . I’ve spent most of my life hating my figure and battling against it. It’s difficult to be present inside of something you actively loathe. This is why I spend most of my time inside my own head. But that coping mechanism is not working for me.

I’m going to be blogging more about this because I need to be honest with myself and other people about where I am at, where I am struggling. I’ll also be sharing recipes of good-for-you food when I make something especially good.

I’ve still got a long way to go but at least I see the path. And I’m on it.


I made Spinach Souffle Stuffed Chicken last night. It was yummy!


23 thoughts on “Motivation

  1. “I want to feel good about my body. I want to be IN my body. It’s hard to describe but. . . I’ve spent most of my life hating my figure and battling against it. It’s difficult to be present inside of something you actively loathe. This is why I spend most of my time inside my own head.”

    YES. I could have written this. THANK YOU. ❤

  2. You know, I think it’s ok that you’ve taken a break. Being committed to that kind of lifestyle takes focus and a lot of work. Plus, you’ve been IN LOVE and sometimes that has to take a priority. But, now that things are getting more comfortable with you and Mr. Darcy, you can reclaim your diet and exercise and figure out how to work them into your life together.

  3. Good luck! This is a common thing that happens… you make a serious lifestyle change and after awhile you just have to relax the restrictions. It doesn’t mean you can’t remotivate yourself and get back on the bandwagon now, like you’re doing!

  4. This is such a good post. I love the idea of being “in” your body. I have spent so long despising my body, and as I work towards being healthier, I want to learn to love and appreciate it, to feel at home and alive inside of it, instead of despising it.

  5. I’m totally right there with you. Post-broken heart I sort of moved out of the “so sad/can’t eat” phase into the “FOOD WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER” phase. Neither phases are good.

    Keep blogging about this. You’re motivating me too!!

  6. I’m in this process right now, so it’s helpful to hear about yours. And it’s helpful to hear about you regularly checking back in with yourself and refocusing on what you want/your goals because I think that’s what the normal process is. I’m not sure anything is sustainable for a year or years without revisiting it regularly. You’re totally on track, girl.

    I’d love for you to write (or for us to talk :>) more sometime about the whole part after, “It’s hard to describe but . . .” because I get that, and I think it’s hard for all of us to describe, but it’s something many of us feel and can relate to.

    Yay, you!

  7. When I went through my big weight loss journey, I blogged a lot about it and it helped me stay accountable — in a sneaky sort of way. I didn’t think about wanting to prove to the blog world I could do it, it just kept my goals at the forefront of my mind more often than they would have been had I not written about it. I guess my only tip is to make social time more physical activity related than food related. Hikes, tennis, dancing — whatever you can do to see your friends and Mr. Darcy in an active setting will help.

    And 30 pounds in a year? That’s effing awesome, no matter what you might have gained back.

  8. It’s so hard to juggle all of it, right? I never feel like I’m covering all the bases…like I should be working out or making something healthier for dinner or calling a friend. It’s hard to stay on that perfect balance wagon all the time. It actually sounds like you do a pretty good job! Particularly with a man in the mix, too.

  9. I am totally with you, sister. My chaotic life hasn’t allowed me to slow down and focus on losing weight but I really need to do that as soon as I move this weekend. Eating SB is hard if you don’t have the time to focus on the foods and preperation, sheesh!

    I am over here, cheering you all the way!

  10. I’ve found the only way to motivate myself into exercising is to get it out of the way first thing in the morning. That way I can’t think of any excuses as to why I can’t do it in the evening. Doesn’t always work but it’s the closest I’ve come to actually sticking with a plan.

  11. Prioritizing exercise is a struggle for me too. I am so resistant to it, which is silly because I never regret working out, you know? I never come home and think “wow, that was a waste of time” and yet it is still a battle for me to motivate myself. Good luck with your journey, miss 🙂

  12. I’d be happy to be your cooking/exercise buddy. It’s hard to stay on track with these things if you don’t have someone close to you working toward the same goals. My boyfriend is supportive, but he doesn’t want to give up the sweets or beer. I meet up with my friend Ashley every week for check ins because she is going through the same thing and it helps so much to be able to talk about it with her. It also holds me accountable because Andrew tells me I don’t need to diet or work out, which is sweet, but isn’t really helpful, you know?

    So, seriously, if you want to make dates to walk or play tennis or try new recipes, just call or email or DM me.

  13. We do the SBD at our house, too, and we love it. We weren’t all that far off of it to begin with, but the real changes have come in us forgoing the bread with our pasta meals (we looove garlic bread!), and giving up potatoes with dinner. Making sure we only do brown rice and wheat pastas, and we’ve also stopped going back for seconds at dinner time. Makes a HUGE difference!

    It also helped that Leo was dealing with high blood pressure and high cholesterol to the point where he needed to make a change, or things could get bad. So he wanted to get back to the gym with me more often. And going to the gym together definitely makes a difference in our routines!

    I have to go in the morning most of the time, though, or I won’t go. That’s my main key to working out.

  14. I love that you are making yourself get back on track to be healthier and feel better. Slacking a little is fine, but if you are starting to not feel good about it it is pretty awesome that you are doing something about it. I would probably just continue what I was doing and whine about how I felt.

    I can’t wait to read recipes. Seriously. Now that I have the stomach issues and never really feel hungry it is really hard to figure out what to make my family for dinner. I am seriously struggling and they are suffering for it big time. Nothing sounds good, I can’t seem to figure out what is healthy for them, etc. It is so easy to just make mac and cheese or chicken nuggets for the kids when I am not hungry and know I won’t really eat it anyway. And then of course because I don’t want to starve to death I eat some anyway and then end up eating crap tons of days in a row with the kids…who should also be eating better even though they are kids. Your healthy eating will be good for all of us if I follow it!

  15. “I want to be in my body.”

    I understand this statement completely. For me, it’s a matter of acceptance, of pride, of feeling good on a Saturday morning rather than nursing a hangover or sugar coma. It’s not fearing the closet when I wake up on work mornings, not avoiding trying on clothes because I don’t want to be met with disappointment. Goodness, it’s even about being able to get off the couch easier. It’s being present and feeling good.

    I want this for you, too, and I’m glad you’ve found something that works for you, Sizz. For me it’s my beloved WW. I am working to find a way to incorporate it into my everyday — and just like you said, it involves making ourselves a priority (just as we do everything/everyone else)!

    I see great success in your future and am here for Pep! should you ever need it.

    Now to get off this comfy couch and start the day!

  16. Pingback: Head Strong « Sizzle Says

Comments are closed.