I Just About Dyed

Toddler Sizzle

I think this is what my Mom is talking about when she refers (wistfully, I might add) to my natural hair color. As I recall, my hair turned a mousey shade of dull brown in my pre-teens which only spurred my use of Sun In as I lay poolside every summer. I haven’t had my natural hair color since I was 14 if you count those summer attempts at “natural” highlights.

I first dyed my hair with the help of my then-boyfriend, the infamous Tomato. We dyed it one day after school my senior year of high school. This was after I had already chopped off my shoulder length hair into a chin length bob which was probably the beginning of the end where this story is concerned. So when my Mom returned home from work that evening she saw me standing outside on the back deck in the sunlight, took one look at my now burgundy hair* and promptly walked out of the room.

When my Mom walks away you know she’s totally pissed.

Uh oh.

I thought Tomato was going to pee himself, he was so scared at her anger being directed at him for helping me dye my hair. This could seriously jeopardize his elite standing as Surrogate Member of the Family. Would his vast supply of orange juice and tomatoes suddenly be cut off at the Jones house? Would he no longer be welcome? Say it isn’t so!

I don’t recall if we had words though we probably did knowing us. My Mom and I are a lot alike- headstrong, outspoken, bossy- so we “exchanged words” a lot during my teen years. Plus, I was a bit of a bitch. (I’m sorry, Mom.) What I do remember is that my Mom didn’t speak to me for at least a week. And she worked at my school! Talk about awkward. All of my teachers would tell her how great my hair looked and she just fumed. She’s a tough one, that Mom of mine. Stubborn as a root.

This was worse than the time I bought a fake nose ring from a back ad in Sassy magazine and nonchalantly wore it in front of my Mom causing her to have a complete freak out. Her: WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR NOSE {insert full name here}?! Me: Juuuuuuust kidding, Mom. See? It’s fake?(removing it and holding it out to her).

She didn’t find it very amusing. Maybe pranking your Mom to the point of a heart attack is not such a great idea?

It’s been twenty years since then and I *think* my Mom has gotten used to my hair shenanigans. She may have even resigned herself to it being short and some various shade of red. Because, who am I trying to kid? I’ll never have long hair again. And if I were to let it go natural now? I’d have completely salt & pepper colored locks. I’m just not ready for that yet! Give me ten more years (at least).

(Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! In your honor I am getting my hair cut & colored tonight. I promise not to dye it burgundy.)

*I was “Mod”. What do you expect? It went well with Docs and thrift store clothes. Which, by the way, was back before vintage stores stole all the good stuff and marked it up. Le sigh. Those were the good ol’ days.**

** I am officially old with that statement.


20 thoughts on “I Just About Dyed

  1. My mom forbid me to dye my hair when I was a teenager. Then she dyed her own hair turquoise. Her explanation was that she doesn’t like hair dye that tries to look realistic. I’m still not sure I buy that one.

  2. I dyed my hair when I was fourteen. Well, part of it. I put black streaks in my very blonde hair…right after I shaved half my head. Now that’s a look that goes with flannel and combat boots. Woohoo!

  3. Hahaha – I love mother/daughter interactions like this! I remember wanting so desperately to get a second ear piercing and my mom outright refused. For years. It was a sore point of contention between us. She kept saying it’s a fad and when it goes out of style, I’ll let the hole close up and it will be an ugly bump. My retort was EVERYONE would have the ugly bump because EVERYONE has their ear double pierced. Yeah, I was a smart ass. Finally, my senior year of high school, I did it. Without her permission. And as a test, I didn’t tell her about it. I went from December until April before she saw it. I remember clearly, we were on the way to their beach house and stopping to get some flowers. In the parking lot, she did a double take. And was all ready to get mad, until I told her how long I’d had it. And then? She laughed. Because who can get mad 4 months after the fact?!? Happy Mother’s Day to all our mamas!

  4. clarification: it was endless supply of orange juice and turkey meat (and yummy french rolls). I had never eaten so well!

    and there were no words spoken. At all. For nearly two weeks because it was right before your graduation photos. I could’ve understood or worked with yelling. But she was mute and locked herself in her bedroom. I had never witnessed such white hot terrifying rage!

    Two years later she was shoplifting Christmas trees and letting your little sister have sleepovers with her then boyfriend. I like to think we broke in and tamed that filly of a mom!

  5. OMG I had totally forgot about Sassy. I loved that magazine.

    I dyed my hair the first time my junior year of high school and haven’t gone back since. I *think* my hair is a shade of light brown, but we’ll never know for sure. Now that I have a daughter of my own I worry a little about what she’s going to do in high school to make me crazy, although I truly believe in Karma and pretty sure I deserve it all and then some!

  6. What a cutie! And what a nice natural color, very cute.
    I have very low maintenance hair, or maybe it’s me the one that really doesn’t care too much about it. But my mom is a whole different story with her hair. She’s had every single hairstyle know to the human race and all sort of colors. Me? I’ve have highlights at various points in my life, but haven’t really died it completely until recently and that’s because I’m trying to get rid of the grays. Go figure huh?

  7. Tomato: It was right AFTER my senior portraits. I remember distinctly because she had that whole debacle with her senior portraits (very long hair, took photos, immediately chopped it off into short ‘do then the photographer lost/ruined the photos and she had to retake them). But it was probably the day I got my senior portraits that I went and got it chopped.

  8. I remember when Bob died my hair, with one of those “pull your hair through the holes in the cap” thing. I looked like a Leopard.

    You are definitely a short hair gal.

    Hi Mom Jones- Happy Mom’s Day-
    Thanks for all the pool parties, movie nights, Doritos and Oreos…and Walking Taco and well, just about everytime you were mom to all of us while we hung out at the Jones house.

    Love you!

  9. Love the post…My mom didn’t mind so much, my hair colors. She had enough real trouble with my sister. 🙂 I say colors because I had a friend in Cosmetology School that used me frequently as a hair model. My hair has been several different colors throughout the years and sometimes multiple colors at a time. Do you rembember Berlin? Just last week I went from Blonde to a very bright Auburn after a new haircut. Have fun. Hope to see a picture of the new look.

  10. OMG you are fracking ADORABLE!!! What a cutie!

    I actually went back to my hair color, which was hard to figure out, a few years ago. I had been coloring it this dark redish brown for a while but I got tired of having to keep that up and I wanted to see what I looked like with what my hair color is suppose to be. After I let my roots grow out a bit, the hairdresser and I figured out it was this really, dark, dark brown. And I haven’t changed it since! Knowing me, I probably will in a couple of years though.

  11. FWIW, I had burgundy hair. I went upstairs one afternooon dyed it, when I rinsed it out it wasn’t purple (or something enough) so I went and got another box and did it again…

    Amazing I’m not bald.

    My mother knew that as …ummm… headstrong as I am… it would be worse if she were to call me on it.

    God I was hard on her.

  12. You were stinking adorable as a kid. I think I know where Finn gets his cuteness!

    Also, I’m sure my mom just loved it when I bleached two skunk-like streaks in the front of my hair when I was 17. I even still have a driver’s license picture to show for it.

  13. I am truly behind the times.

    My hair is burgundy NOW. [I “went Slocombe” for Easter, and it was far darker than I expected.]

    Happy Mother’s Day to your Mum!

  14. My mom helped my brother dye his hair blue when he was younger. So it is safe to say that is why hair color was never my rebellion thing. I got a tattoo when I turned 18, and then another one when I turned 20. My mom only knows about one. She reacted so badly to it (“why would you do this to me” and lots of crying) so I did not tell her about the second one. She even saw it in a picture of me in a halloween costume and remarked on how real my drawn on tattoo was. I did not correct her.

  15. I put a fake belly ring in in high school and quickly ripped it out after teasing my mom. She came at me like a steam engine and I caved under the fear and pressure!

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