Scenes from the Building

Phone rings.

Hi ______.

Hi Sizzle. It seems like the maintenance guy came in today instead of tomorrow.

Really? Why is that?

Well my stuff is moved from under the sink and a bag was left on top of my trash can.

That doesn’t make much sense. Why would he be in the kitchen when the work you requested he do is in the bathroom?

I don’t know but my stuff is moved. Maybe he needed to fix my sink? I did put an artichoke down the garbage disposal last night. . .

Aahhh. . . I know what happened. You putting an artichoke down the disposal caused your neighbor’s sink to back up. The plumbers were just here fixing it and they must have had to enter your apartment to fix the problem. I’m sorry you weren’t given proper notice. I would have never known that they were even in there if you hadn’t called.

It’s alright. I suppose it’s my own fault for putting the artichoke down the disposal.


I’m just embarrassed that my apartment is such a mess.

Trust me, you don’t know how some of your neighbors live. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.


Myself and a potential tenant are exiting a vacant apartment when we run into the neighbor from across the hall.

Hi ______. Whatcha doing? (She’s walking over to her neighbor’s apartment about to knock.)

Oh well I heard crinkling. I was going to ask _____ if he was crinkling something.

Her girlfriend is in the hallway with us, giggling.

Hmm, okay.

I know I must sound crazy. It’s just that I heard it. If it’s not him, maybe it’s a rat.

UH! HELLO! It’s not like I AM SHOWING AN APARTMENT TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT WANT TO LIVE HERE OR ANYTHING. (To the potential tenant:) We do NOT have rodents. We never have.

Yeah, I’m just crazy. (To the potential tenant:) This is a great building.

Welcome to the building! She’s thankfully the harmless kind of crazy.


I received 3 voicemails in succession from the Music Man. They talk about how he was hearing very loud sawing noises and how he had yelled out to the offending sawing people, “DON’T RUIN THIS BUILDING!” Because that would help. He also said in two of the messages, “I not sure if you noticed but I am mentally ill.”

Really? You are mentally ill?! I never noticed! Not when you claimed someone was squatting in the upstairs apartment. Not when you claimed someone broke into your apartment and stole a battery. Not when you claimed someone was stealing your internet from five blocks away resulting in multiple calls to the police. Not when you asked your former neighbors to comply with a bizarre notification system where they put a stuffed animal in the window alerting you to when they are home or away. But hearing sawing and yelling about it to supposed offenders THAT YOU CAN’T SEE really convinces me.


Question: Is a compliment from a crazy person still a compliment?



22 thoughts on “Scenes from the Building

  1. You can go either of a couple of directions with this question.

    One, you can carefully research and analyze before coming to who knows what conclusion.

    Two, you can take it as definitely a compliment and be glad for it.

    Was it genuine? Who cares. Accept it like it came from someone of great knowledge and taste and enjoy.


  2. You know what a bleeding heart I am, but the Music Man gets me. Mental illness is tough.

    And I agree with Kaply – compliments are compliments! 🙂

    PS The person wondering about rats while you’re showing the place? Frickin rude!!

  3. I am seriously dying laughing over here at the crinkling issue.

    “I was going to ask ___ if he was crinkling something.”


    Oh, these moments are just priceless.

  4. A compliment, even from a crazy person, is still a compliment. It might even be more significant. LOL

  5. I’m thinking that compliments from Crazies are the quiet period in between all of their latent craziness. With that being said, I never take anything they say seriously, so how can this compliment have any validity?

    I’ve tried to do the right thing and fight anti-logic with logic because that’s what fucking Spock would do. Unfortunately, he’s fictional, so anti-logic always wins by default. I have accepted by now that crazy will always trump sane. It’s life. They win, but they’re still crazy and I can always feel better about myself by knowing I’m not nearly as delusional. So I guess, that’s a win…?

  6. A compliment from a crazy person is the highest form of compliment there is. Especially one who is banned from calling you because he is always bitching about things that you can’t control.

    I love music man stories.

  7. First, a compliment is a compliment, no questions asked. I take any and all I can get. Hell, my whole family is crazy so if I disqualified compliments on the basis of that, my compliment quotient would plummet.

    Second, your posts make me wish I had been an adult and a blogger when I grew up in the projects with my mother, the property manager. Talk about blog fodder! In a weird way, I envy your little universe of crazy. Never a dull moment!

  8. I think of a compliment from a crazy person the same way I think of a compliment from a child. Honest. Kids don’t know to make things up or lie to make you feel better so what they say really means something. I would think it is the same way with someone who is mentally ill. Unless whatever they complimented you on was something they imagined…like the sawing. So I guess really I have no idea.

    I know I don’t have to live with him so the stories entertain and he isn’t a giant pain to me but I think I am starting to love music man. He is really very funny.

  9. Pingback: The Last Song for The Music Man | Sizzle Says

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