Why I Love Him #32

My boyfriend loves sleeping.

No. Sincerely. He love LOVES it. I’m kind of sad for him actually because he fell in love with me, the morning bird.  I’m up early every day of the week metaphorically chirping away. Last Saturday I got up early to meet my Mom for some garage sale shopping while Mr. Darcy slumbered on. When I got home, he was gone. I asked him about it later.

Me: How long did you stay at my apartment?

Him: I left about 11. I stayed in bed, petted the cats and woke up slowly.

Me: Is that what you do at home? I mean, minus the cats.

Him: Instead of cats, I masturbate.

(Beat.)

Him: Something gets petted. That’s what’s important.

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24 thoughts on “Why I Love Him #32

  1. HAHAHAAAAAAAAeeeeeww 🙂

    i love that you guys have it worked out that you don’t mind if he stays in bed, and he doesn’t mind if you get up and leave him there. it’s essential for morning-person/non-morning-person mutual happiness!! (i say this as a strict non-morning-person.)

  2. You really need to put a disclaimer at the top of posts like this. Something along the lines of, *Warning* Drinking beverages while reading this post may be detrimental to your nose and computer keyboard. By the way, that was friggin hilarious!

  3. I especially like his romantic spirit. I’m a morning gal like you. Even just reading that he got out of bed at 11 kind of stressed me out because THAT IS HALF THE DAY.

  4. Mr. Darcy is awesome! I’m a morning person, just like you. Sometimes I let my boyfriend sleep…sometimes I resort to various annoyances to wake him up. Flicking or pretend sleep flailing are my favorites.

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