Why I Love Him #66, 67 & 68

We’re at the ballgame watching the Mariner’s against the Cincinnati Reds in celebration of Double B’s birthday and Father’s Day. Mr. Darcy grabs himself a soda and some beloved pistachios. We’re sitting there, in the cold gray amongst kids shoving hot dogs and cotton candy and assorted horrible-for-you foods into their gullets, munching on nuts and pretending to know what’s going on down on the field.

After a while I notice out of the corner of my eye that Mr. Darcy hasn’t dropped any shells so I inquire, “Hey, where are your shells?” He replied in a matter of fact manner, “They are in my pocket.” So I said, “Why aren’t you dropping them on the ground?” as I pointed to the cement beneath our feet now littered with my pistachio shells. He responded incredulously, “Are you a savage?”

Why yes. Yes I think I am.

****

We’re sitting on the couch after dinner and I randomly announce, “I think my belly button smells” as I stick my finger in it and sniff it.

He responds, “Let me smell it” and grabs my hand pulling it to his nose.

After a whiff he says with a shrug, “It doesn’t smell bad.”

****

We’re lying in bed, attempting to fall asleep when Mr. Darcy lets one rip.

Charmed I say, “Did you just shart?”

Laughing he says, “I have never heard that before. What’s a shart?”

“It’s when you fart and shit your pants a little. I am surprised you don’t know this given how much you fart.”

“I did not shart, thankyouverymuch.”

“It kinda sounded like it. Better check the sheets just in cases.”

My Fartner in Crime

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27 thoughts on “Why I Love Him #66, 67 & 68

  1. Ah, true love. Also? I don’t know if it’s a typo or if you really actually say, “Just in cases.” But I say ‘just in cases,’ as does my sister. So if you say it too I’ll feel even schmoopier about you than I already do!

  2. HAAAA if you’ve got someone who will gamely oblige when you say “smell my finger,” i think you’ve just fulfilled all of our 10-year-old selves’ dreams ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. That is awesome. Except for the farting. I’m a HATER when it comes to audible farting and burping. I’m on my way to training Justin to at least say excuse me.

  4. Sometimes I think about how strange belly buttons are. I mean, I suppose they make logical sense, but they are just so…bizarre to me? And now I think maybe my bizarre belly-button thoughts make less sense when said aloud vs. when kept to myself. Ha!

    Also: I love! this. Love you two, so happy together.

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  6. Mr. Mom is fond of saying “Good lord, woman! Did you shit the bed?” He’s nice that way.

    And by the way, my belly button DOES STINK! Mr. Mom would never want to smell it because his nose is uber-sensitive (thus, the constant comment above), but I can vouch that it’s a nasty combo smell of sour milk and Fritos. Disgusting!

  7. I may have almost CHOKED in my cubicle as I read this while sipping on my glass of water.

    Thanks for the giggle.

    Oh, and did I happen to mention that I *love* you guys together? This was an awesome post ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. Hahaha! That Mr. Darcy is awfully cute and funny!

    I once made Mr. W smell a rough patch of skin I had on my inner lip. Thank goodness these boys go along with whatever we ask of them…

    ๐Ÿ™‚

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