Carving his place in the world. (Picture courtesy of Weiss Eubanks Photography)

Dear Tomato,

When you asked for gratitude letters* I had, quite literally, just stepped out of a therapy session wherein I realized something quite profound about you. Right timing, indeed.

What I realized is this: Besides my father, you are the most significant man in my life.

When I think about all the big moments since meeting you at 17, you are there. You’ve seen me through: My high school graduation. Prom. Countless birthdays. Losing our virginity together. Moving away from home. Finding love. Losing love. Lather, rinse, repeat. Mini-breakdowns. College graduation. My sister’s wedding. My mom moving out of my childhood home. My grandmother’s passing. Moving out of state.

I remember you reading me “Freddy the Leaf” while we waited for the call about my Dad. I hold that memory dear to me- your kindness and friendship through my grief was a testament to your heart. There were three people in the room when I got the news my Dad had died and yours were the arms I fell into.

You are always catching me.

Thank you for that and for being in my life through all the highs and lows, the belly laughs and tears. For truly seeing me even when I could not. For always being my lighthouse, my mirror, and my best friend.

Go with happiness,



*I am sharing this letter I wrote to Tomato with all of you in honor of his birthday (which is on Sunday!). Tomato does a really fantastic weekly show called The Baub Show. It focuses on what’s right in the world rather than what’s wrong. He rotates guests and co-hosts (sometimes I’m one of them!) and lately has been sharing letters of gratitude on the air. This letter was one I sent in even though he was definitely not requesting letters written to him. I couldn’t help it though. I had something to say. It’s hard for me to keep my trap shut.

Do yourself a favor and if you’re not already a listener, check it out on Mondays at 7pm PST or download previous podcasts. You won’t be sorry!

Hey Tomato- Here’s hoping this year is your best one yet. I’m so damn proud of you for so many reasons and love you to the moon and back. Happy birthday!


10 thoughts on “Honoring

  1. That’s a pretty remarkable revelation, Sizzle, and a beautifully written letter. It’s clear you’re lucky to have Tomato in your life. But, you know what? I bet he thinks he’s pretty damn lucky to have you in his.

  2. what a positively perfect and wonderful way to wake up this morning. Almost as good as this coming Sunday when i’ll hear your voice singing happy birthday in my voicemail for the twentieth time. 20! We’ve now been in each other’s lives longer than we haven’t. We are the best kind of family, we are chosen. We are soulmates no matter what anyone says or thinks.

    I’m honored and thankful to have you on this journey with me. I wouldn’t and couldn’t be me without you.


  3. You made me cry. I bet you made him cry, too.
    I’m glad you have Tomato and very glad I had a chance to meet him in person so I could see what all the hype was about. 😉

  4. I want to wish Mr. Tomato a very happy birthday as well. Not only because he share his day of birth with the most important man in my life, but because he sounds amazing.

  5. He is one of the things you can point to, when you begin to doubt unconditional love. He has had that for you, for years. It is a fine example, and proof good things are possible to endure, in life.

    God bless you, Tomato.

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