Blackmail Material

We’re lying in bed after his surprise party on Saturday and Mr. Darcy McDrunkerson is feeling very chatty. Here’s an excerpt from our bedtime chat. Imagine him whisper-slurring his words too for added effect.

Sizz: “You didn’t brush your teeth, did you?”

Darcy: “I peed.”

Sizz: “You peed?”

Darcy: “I’m just a man.”

Sizz: “You’re JUST A MAN? These are your excuses?”

Darcy: “My breath will stink in the morning so why not now?”

Sizz: “Wow. That’s a commercial for dentistry if I’ve ever heard one.”

Darcy: “I will write it down.”

Sizz: “That’s okay, I’m recording this.”

Darcy: “And I’ll make my millions.”

Sizz: “Mmm, I don’t think that’s how you’re going to make your millions.”

Darcy: “Says you.”

Sizz: “Yes, I did just say that.”

Darcy: “You have it on tape.”

Sizz: “Now you’re catching on. Yep, tape.”

Darcy: “Really?! Ohhh shit.”

Darcy: “I know what I am drunk.”

Sizz: “So you are agreeing that you ARE drunk?”

Darcy: “I am drunk.”

Uh, the camera is UP HERE. Not at my boobs.

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13 thoughts on “Blackmail Material

  1. Ok, I misread that somehow and thought he might have peed where he should have.
    Yes, I know, I’m going to get more coffee RIGHT NOW.

  2. I’m glad you have a transcript of this so you can harass him with it at will. Going to bed drunk without brushing your teeth always makes for a scary morning… Hopefully he wasn’t breathing on you too much throughout the night. ๐Ÿ˜›

  3. Drunk or not. I kinda have to agree with Mr. Darcy. It is much more fun to look at your boobs than to stare at an old camera. (I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’).

    TAG

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