Blackmail Material

We’re lying in bed after his surprise party on Saturday and Mr. Darcy McDrunkerson is feeling very chatty. Here’s an excerpt from our bedtime chat. Imagine him whisper-slurring his words too for added effect.

Sizz: “You didn’t brush your teeth, did you?”

Darcy: “I peed.”

Sizz: “You peed?”

Darcy: “I’m just a man.”

Sizz: “You’re JUST A MAN? These are your excuses?”

Darcy: “My breath will stink in the morning so why not now?”

Sizz: “Wow. That’s a commercial for dentistry if I’ve ever heard one.”

Darcy: “I will write it down.”

Sizz: “That’s okay, I’m recording this.”

Darcy: “And I’ll make my millions.”

Sizz: “Mmm, I don’t think that’s how you’re going to make your millions.”

Darcy: “Says you.”

Sizz: “Yes, I did just say that.”

Darcy: “You have it on tape.”

Sizz: “Now you’re catching on. Yep, tape.”

Darcy: “Really?! Ohhh shit.”

Darcy: “I know what I am drunk.”

Sizz: “So you are agreeing that you ARE drunk?”

Darcy: “I am drunk.”

Uh, the camera is UP HERE. Not at my boobs.

13 thoughts on “Blackmail Material

  1. Ok, I misread that somehow and thought he might have peed where he should have.
    Yes, I know, I’m going to get more coffee RIGHT NOW.

  2. I’m glad you have a transcript of this so you can harass him with it at will. Going to bed drunk without brushing your teeth always makes for a scary morning… Hopefully he wasn’t breathing on you too much throughout the night. ๐Ÿ˜›

  3. Drunk or not. I kinda have to agree with Mr. Darcy. It is much more fun to look at your boobs than to stare at an old camera. (I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’).


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