I start a meditation class on Friday.
Me of the over-active mind and jam-packed schedule. Me of multiple jobs and too many commitments.
I think I’m the exact right type of person for such a class. I’ve thought about meditating for years. But that’s it- just a nagging thought, an action item on the lengthy To Do list, an additional goal to reach, another pressure. Call me crazy but isn’t that counter-productive to the very act of meditation?
So when I saw that my yoga instructor was teaching a 4 week class, I paid the additional fee and registered. And now my concerns that I will be a meditation failure are swarming my mind. I keep telling myself that a meditation practice is like a yoga practice and it’s about personal progress, not perfection.
Breathe, Sizzle. Breathe deep.
Part of the commitment to the class is daily meditation. Of course, I read that in the fine print after I signed up. What does that mean for my routine? Because now I get up, feed the cats, make tea, check my email and some of my sites, maybe post a blog, eat some eggs, get ready for work, change my outfit a minimum of 3 times, and then realize I am late for work, flare up into a stressed out crabbypants, hurriedly say good-bye to Mr. Darcy and arrive at work harried. Sounds delightful, doesn’t it? Frankly, I am ready for an upset in this pattern.
The wee hours of the morning are my favorite though- that time when the light is just breaking through the sky, when the city is quietly waking up, the tea is steaming in my mug, and it’s just me alone with me. That’s when I will want to meditate. That’s when I will want to climb into the quiet and prepare for my day. That will mean not turning on the computer first thing (or maybe at all). It might mean not blogging as much. It might mean less comments from me on your blogs.
I’m hoping for a shift in consciousness because the way I’m prioritizing the things of my life is not working for me- the me I want to be in the world. Just maybe (hopefully) this new commitment to meditation will help me find balance internally and externally. I’m looking forward to learning how to quiet my mind’s chatter, listen deep, and just BE.
I can totally master that in 4 weeks, right?