Remember how yesterday I was all, “I hope someday to be able to hold half-handstand for a full minute. Maybe even someday do a full handstand.” Um, yeah. About that. . .
Last night in class my teacher announced the new focus pose for the next 2 months. I should say poses because it’s not one but two, technically even three. They are-
- More forearm plank held for one minute (because straight up regular plank was so last month).
- Forearm plank into side forearm pose held for one minute on each side. I don’t know the technical name of this pose as I was too busy freaking out about my lack of core strength and inability to do it. It looks like this:
- And drum roll please! The dreaded HANDSTAND held for one minute.
Yes. You read that right. I could only hold half handstand for 30 seconds and now we’re moving right into full on handstands. My initial reaction was to turn to Supple with a look of fear and dismay plastered on my face. Please recall that I have never done a bona-fide handstand, not even as a kid that I can recall. I am overcome with a fear that I will break my own neck trying. I also feel very inferior because I am one of the larger people in the class. I know people probably aren’t judging me but I AM JUDGING ME. I’m working on it because I did after all start off the half-handstand series completely freaked out and convinced I wouldn’t be able to do it and then I did do it for 30 whole seconds and held plank for 60 seconds.
So there, self! STFU.
So for the next two months I am going to do daily yoga even if it’s just for 20 minutes at home before I meditate because I need to get stronger. I need to practice plank and increase my core and back strength. Last night when Supple assisted me into handstand I could only kick my legs half way up. I am comforted with the knowledge that my teacher struggled with this pose for years. If she could learn to do it and not give up and become the amazing yogi she is today, maybe I can do.
More than body strength, yoga gives me the opportunity to go deeper, push farther, be kinder to myself, slow down and remember that if I believe in myself I can do anything.
Remind me of that when I am spazzing out next time.