It’s us together on a couch with a woman sitting in a chair across from us, smiling warmly. We fill her in on the highs and the lows, piecing together a Cliff’s Notes version of us. During the 75 minutes we spend in the room, we talk and share and wonder. Occasionally, we reach out a hand to soothe the other. A gentle reassurance reminding the other that we’re in this together.

We do this, sit in this room with this stranger pouring out our hearts, because we want to be better together. Because we don’t want to wait til our disagreements become too big and unfixable and we’re looking at each other wondering where the hell we went wrong. Because at the core of everything we love each other and know we can do better for each other, for ourselves, for us. Seeking a deeper understanding, trust and love is not failure. It is authentic and honest and humble. It is brave.

This is us saying we’re in this together. That we want to be happy together.That we’re willing to risk vulnerability and uncomfortableness and our fears for the other.

This is how we say I love you.



31 thoughts on “Together

  1. You are both very brave. And this is a good thing. I’m proud of you for taking this step, for choosing this together, for planning a future together, and for believing in your love. (I believe in your love too.)

  2. It’s years away from the starry glittery moments of new love. But, taking this step shows that you still see that greatness in each other and are willing to take this time to pull off the layers which diminish your shine. When two people agree to undergo discomfort to make a stronger relationship it’s a huge step. Nice post.

  3. Good for you, guys, to seek help. This shows how committed you are to each other! I think it’s wonderful that you’re doing this!

  4. And this is me, tearing up over a couple that I’ve never met but want only the best for.

    What a beautiful post.

  5. *hug*
    You know me, I think everyone and everything can benefit from therapy. How strong you will be together for this, no matter what happens!

  6. Counseling was the best thing we ever did for our marriage. While we’re strong again, I really wish we could find someone we both clicked with who would be there when we need them. Finding a good counselor is SO HARD! Good for you and Mr. Darcy for workin’ through the tough stuff.

  7. I think everyone should do this because if they don’t, they end up separated from true happiness, like I was. I think that if my ex and I had done thins, things might be different. Good for you. πŸ™‚

  8. I think this is one of the most important things couples can commit to doing together. Taking a step like this to work things through is truly a sign of enduring love. Good luck to you – you’re going to come out better on the other side.

  9. How awesome that you are doing this. I have suggested couples therapy to my husband numerous times. I just think we could be better at communication. And that it would help if he could talk about losing his mom. But no.

    Again, good for you!

  10. This is wonderful, to work things out before things get out of control, to know each others fears and everything else is amazing. Kudos to both of you πŸ™‚

  11. This is so beautiful, friend. YOU are so beautiful. And I love how open you are about your relationship with Mr. Darcy. Amazing doesn’t always mean easy. And why should it? If it’s worth it, you fight for it and work for it, and all of that to say: I’m so happy you’re happy. And so impressed by how far you’ve come and how you share your heart, with Mr. Darcy, and with your friends, too.

  12. “If it’s worth it, you fight for it and work for it”
    I think Kerri Anne said it perfectly.
    What a lesson Sizzle… I wish so many other people struggling in their relationship could read this and know this is also a way to say ‘I love you’.

    Very happy for you both!

  13. Well, THAT… and there’s a samurai sword in the house. You never want arguments to get big when there’s a lethal samurai sword in the house…

  14. I will say this once again – you’re such an inspiration! Opening up and revealing thoughts, fears, concerns and emotions to your partner can leave one feeling emotionally naked and vulnerable, but in order to have a healthy and happy relationship – true communication is imperative.

  15. I think this is such a GREAT idea!!! Sometimes couples wait way too long to do this and they have hurt each other so badly by then that it doesn’t help. Getting this help early on is a good thing!!

  16. This is awesome! I think it is wonderful to do this so nothing ever turns into a huge issue that the other person didn’t even know about. I am so happy you are both willing to do this for each other.

  17. I have a lot of catching up to do (I remembered how much I love your blog – sorry that it’s been a while), but I’m glad to read that you are both working towards a common goal, together. πŸ™‚

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