Vanity Updates

I haven’t weighed myself since my scale up and died on me last year.

I think this might be a really good thing. I’ve been solely focusing on working out, enjoying my body and dropping the shaming/blaming language I use towards myself. Guess which part is the hardest to sustain? Yep, the negative self-talk. They need a boot camp to unlearn that shit.

I have no idea if I have lost any weight but what I have lost is the attachment to the idea that if I am not on a diet or constantly obsessing about how to lose weight, I am a failure. Belittling myself into being smaller isn’t loving myself. Being smaller isn’t a requirement for love.

And so I move my body and enjoy the endorphins that come from a great work out.  The stronger my body becomes, the weaker that voice in my head that has told me for years that I am not good enough if I am fat becomes.

Last week I managed to get into Holy Shitasana and for a millisecond I had both feet off the ground. And in that millisecond, I felt elated freedom.

It feels good to do things you thought were impossible.

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I’m still growing my hair out.

Despite the fact that every day I say to myself, “Self, having this much hair is a pain in the ass.” And I remember longingly how quick and easy it was to sassify my ‘do when it was short. Now? I have to blow it dry with a round brush then flat iron it. I purchased a comb and a brush, people! I haven’t owned or used either in over 5 years.This having hair business requires tools and time.

Two things keep me from cutting it: 1) I look better in hats and 2) I don’t like to back down from a challenge, even one that is self-imposed.

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Having fingernails is a trip. I can scratch things! And pick up coins!

It’s the little things that delight me.

But seriously, my hands look so pretty. I even treated myself to a real manicure this weekend.

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Yesterday Mr. Darcy and I went out for food and I did not put on a speck of make up. I felt like I walked out into the world naked. Usually I insist on putting on my eyebrows (which means filling in the sparse bits so they appear even), mascara and cover up on any red spots.

Do you wear make up? If you do, what is your bare minimum face?

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30 thoughts on “Vanity Updates

  1. I’ve never had a scale in my house. I find them to be very destructive to self image. The only scales I used from time to time were those at the gym. If I weighed myself after a workout (once in a while – definitely not after every workout!), then I cared less about the actual weight, because I knew I was doing something good for myself.

    I do wear make-up, but less and less the older I get. These days, to walk out of the house, I generally put on eyeliner and mascara. No more.

  2. I’m so happy for your work on the self talk! Holy Shitasana (even for a millisecond) is a milestone and testament to that, I think.

    When it come to makeup, I live 99% of my life barefaced. I only put on makeup when I am going out with friends to something at night or if I’m seeing someone I’ve never met or seen in a long time.

    Most of the time, I go everywhere without so much as lip balm. I love makeup!!! Love to buy it, play with it, etc. But as an adult, I’ve never worried about people seeing me without it. I’m usually more worried about what they think of my weight.

  3. Congrats on reaching the Holy Shitasana!! I’m a sporadic pilates girl, but you’re getting me interested in yoga.
    I have the same sparse 5-minute makeup routine every single day, it’s my post-shower, pre-dressing makeup and unless we’re doing really fancy things, usually the only time I put makeup on all day (no touch-ups!): eye shadows, eyeliner, under-eye concealer. That’s it. Sometimes I’ll opt for some 12-hour (10-hour/unkissable/whateverthehelltheycallthebrandIbuy) lipstick (because of that no-touch-up thing) and some translucent powder (especially in the summertime) and if I’m really gettting dolled up, I’ll curl my eyelashes twice and add just a bit of vaseline to them to make them stand out (my contacts don’t really dig on the mascara).
    –really, I guess that’s just my routine then. always and never changing; I’m pretty boring in the girly department.
    -K

  4. My scale broke and I never replaced it. I placed too much stock into what it said, and it would make or break my day – usually breaking it. Now, I just have to go off of what I feel. And while I still feel crappy, I don’t feel worse. That’s important.

    Yesterday I went shopping, and where I used to always have to go to the 16/18 section of the pants, I actually had to go to 14s. That was awesome.

    I think I’m going to start going to a yoga class. I keep hearing such great things. I need great.

    And it varies on if I wear makeup or not. Some days I do, some days I don’t. It depends on if I feel like putting it on. And I have really long hair. It’s usually in a ponytail.. lol.

  5. The scale drives me CRAZY if I use it. I go by how I feel in my clothes.

    And as for makeup, I wear it every day, even if just mascara and gloss. It’s because I love my neighbors – nobody needs to see me sans makeup.

  6. You are awesome!

    I dont wear makeup of any kind, though i feel like I should and that I’m probably just lazy. I have been known to do some minimums for a job interview (foundation, eye shadow, blush) or some other special event – but i think i just touch my face too much and mess everything up.

    I am also growing my hair out, but may try to reach a compromise with myself. Love putting it in a ponytail, but thinking it sure makes my face rounder, and i dont need that kind of help! I truly have a hate-hate relationship with my hair. I can’t remember the last time I liked it. That said, you wont know how much you like or dislike the longer hair until you have it where you expect to want it, and can see and feel the real thing! Its a whole lot easier to cut it if it doen’t give you the look you were hoping for, than it is to grow it back out again and again because you never let it get to the length you were hoping for in the first place!

    Good Luck!

  7. I LOVE make-up. I’ve seen pictures of me from High School lookin’ like Christina Aguuilera. However, I try to follow a pretty strict no make-up on the weekends rule. I just feel good giving myself a break.

    And, as I’ve gotten older, the amount of make-up I wear becomes less and less. At this point, I wear eyeshadow, a light, loose powder and mascara.

  8. Good for you, bella!!! 🙂 These are all very positive things… Are they leading to overall happiness feelings?

    As for makeup: I’ve discovered that I feeeeel prettier with makeup on, so my light makeup days involve very fair powder, light blush, shadow and mascara. Doesn’t sound light, but the shades are very neutral/natural…

    Thanks for this positive-vibing post!

  9. i HAAAAATE makeup. I actually think I look better without it — I just feel painted on when my face can’t “breathe.” I wear lip gloss (chap stick) and mascara and that’s it. But lately I’ve been really admiring the polished look of my co-workers (working for Target is like walking a runway every day, it is unreal), and thinking it is time to update my look a bit. I’ve got a $150 gift card to MAC and I’m thinking about letting them just make me over, with the stipulation that “it can’t take longer than 3 minutes every morning to complete this look, and my skin has to breathe, and it can’t be drying, and no fakey fake colors.” But then I’m like “Hmm, why bother?”

    I’ve been working on my nails too – I started eating a lot of dairy and it really actually helped them to be strong! And daily appliation of cuticle moisturizer REALLY helped, and then I started getting regular manicures again… I don’t want long nails, I just want them to look nice and neat. When I have a color on them (vs clear) I am less likely to bite and pick at them.

    I remember when I had the lightbulb moment about enjoying exercise for the way it made me FEEL and not necessariyl for the weight-related by-product… powerful moment. Exercise is my sanity, and it is my drug.

    Well, that and vitamin D.

    However, I struggle with yoga and exercise in mirrored rooms – because the instant I catch a glimpse of myself, I dive right into critical / negative self-talk mode, and I lose sight (haha) of how I FEEL… the vision of myself that I have in my head just crumples. At my thinnest, a few years ago (which still wasn’t that thin, mind you, but it was after running the marathon, so I was in the best shape of my LIFE), I’d finally gotten the reality to line up with the image in my head. I need to get back there again. It was a nice place to live.

  10. Daily reader/occasional commenter here. I used to NEVER leave the house without mascara and eyeliner on…until I got eyelash extensions! They’re really great and so low maintenance. Now I just wash my face, slap a little moisturizer on and I’m out the door.

  11. I weigh myself on the scale every day and *gasp* record it. I know, I know, but I can’t seem to let it go.
    Makeup? Love it! Can’t leave home without it. I only not wear makeup when I’m exercising, then it’s cleanly washed face all the way.
    The bare minimum would be compact powder a little blush, mascara (gotta have mascara) and lip gloss. I guess that’s not minimum at all, is it? I did say I loved makeup. didn’t I? 😉

  12. My bare minimum face is lip gloss which I probably do more frequently than I should. Most days I do lipstick, lipgloss and eyeliner sometimes clear mascara but that is all.

  13. I have a scale and I am terrible with it. Better than I used to be but I am obsessed even though I know better. I wear make up but it is pretty light and I have no issues going out in public without make up too. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it. 🙂 I hate wearing any goop on my lips.

  14. I usually always put a little cover-up and mascara on. Sometimes even to go hiking, which has generated much ridicule in the past. Hiking is pretty much the only thing I’ll do completely free of makeup. Unless I’m dead ass hungover like I was Sunday after my bachelorette party.

    I love that you’re enjoying your fingernails. That totally made me smile to picture you picking up coins and being so excited about it! 🙂

  15. The scale and my pants size are currently conspiring to make me cry. I’m trying to patiently wait out the next nine (event-filled) days, and then I can deal with the problem, but right now, I feel horrid.

    Makeup: I’ve been wearing more lately, as my skin has been a wreck. Normally, though, I’m a mascara/blush/lipgloss gal.

  16. I weigh in once a month at the gym, mostly because it’s part of my programme. But I’m happily 2 sizes smaller than when I started this crusade and that’s fluctuated since the beginning. I’m focusing on the long term, not the wobbly weeks in between.

    Sounds to me like you’re onto a good thing. Stick with it!

  17. For the first time in my life I’m actually trying to get weight back on. I lost a stone when I got pregnant and now I’m trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight so that I’m strong enough to carry the baby. I get weighed at every appointment but pre-baby I never weighed myself. I am naturally heavy regardless of the size of clothes I’m wearing so I just go by how I feel. I know when I’ve put weight on or not.

    As for make-up… I really do suck at this. The most I wear is mascara. I’ve had all-day morning sickness for 11 weeks and I have to admit that I’ve only put make-up on once (only because it was Christmas!!!!) during that entire time lol!

  18. your posts are always so inspiring. i hope to be where you are at some point in the (somewhat near) future! i’m trying to stop thinking about my weight and just thinking about my health and happiness… not that easy *sigh*

    my minimum makeup would probably be tinted moisturizer (i hope that’s what you call it) and a little eye-liner. and a bit of lose powder, too.

  19. i’m having the same hair issues. i KNOW i need a cut, but i’m just so damned lazy, even as it approaches “mullet stage.”

    i’ve avoided the scale at the gym partly because i don’t want to know, and also i know i’ll just get discouraged/obsessed if the number doesn’t match some arbitrary number in my head. i’m also trying to focus on exercising to feel good and stronger, and just glancing in the mirror to check out my bulge status.

    it’s funny – the older i get, the less i wear make up. most days i wear none. the laziness thing again!

  20. Being a teen in the 80’s made me a hair and makeup freak – can’t let them go! I feel weird if my hair isn’t styled, don’t dig ponytails or straight, droopy hair. Makes me feel old. It needs to be doing something if I’m out and about. At home or on quick errands, no make up is OK, would never think of not wearing it to work or out for the evening.

  21. I love this post. I need to attend that weight bootcamp. Or follow your lead.

    I love having fingernails… except when it leads to scratching/picking! Ugh!

    I don’t wear much makeup, especially on the weekends! I usually leave the house with none on! Oops!

  22. Hey lady, thanks for that first update! I was trying to let myself get away with skipping yoga today (trying to get back in the habit of exercising regularly is hard when it’s not quite a habit yet!) but now I can’t. For heaven’s sake. I LIKE yoga. Why am I trying to get out of it?

    Re: makeup. Yes I wear it, every day to work and often on weekends too, but for errands and meeting friends for coffee, my bare minimum face involves just washing it clean and moisturizer. For the office though… bare minimum is under-eye concealer, neutral eyeshadow, black mascara, and lip gloss. Usual routine involves concealer, foundation, neutral eyeshadow, brown shadow in the crease, dark eyeliner, black mascara, blush, and lipgloss.

  23. Bare minimum is some translucent powder (I hate my oily skin), fill in the brows (damn you hypothyroidism for making them fall out), and mascara. Oh, and a few spots of conceler cause at nearly 37 years of age, I still break out like I did in Jr. High (will it never end?!).

    Hey, congrats on your Holy Shitasana pose! That is awesome. Keep up the good work!

  24. Vanity updates! Love it! 🙂

    Nothing at all means I will have “sleepy face.”

    Bare minimum: DEFINITELY mascara! And a little cover-up if necessary. Makeup is such a hassle. Icky poo.

  25. Love this post! Favorite line right now, “Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead!” I wear no makeup daily and only wear it if I am going out on the town or if I have a meeting with clients. I don’t work with anyone on a regular basis and I kind of just hate the whole if I wear it I have to take it off. Lazy, I know.

  26. The only real difference between my minimum face and my maximum face is the amount of eyeshadow. This means I’m vain in casual situations and lazy in formal ones.

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