I haven’t weighed myself since my scale up and died on me last year.
I think this might be a really good thing. I’ve been solely focusing on working out, enjoying my body and dropping the shaming/blaming language I use towards myself. Guess which part is the hardest to sustain? Yep, the negative self-talk. They need a boot camp to unlearn that shit.
I have no idea if I have lost any weight but what I have lost is the attachment to the idea that if I am not on a diet or constantly obsessing about how to lose weight, I am a failure. Belittling myself into being smaller isn’t loving myself. Being smaller isn’t a requirement for love.
And so I move my body and enjoy the endorphins that come from a great work out. The stronger my body becomes, the weaker that voice in my head that has told me for years that I am not good enough if I am fat becomes.
Last week I managed to get into Holy Shitasana and for a millisecond I had both feet off the ground. And in that millisecond, I felt elated freedom.
It feels good to do things you thought were impossible.
I’m still growing my hair out.
Despite the fact that every day I say to myself, “Self, having this much hair is a pain in the ass.” And I remember longingly how quick and easy it was to sassify my ‘do when it was short. Now? I have to blow it dry with a round brush then flat iron it. I purchased a comb and a brush, people! I haven’t owned or used either in over 5 years.This having hair business requires tools and time.
Two things keep me from cutting it: 1) I look better in hats and 2) I don’t like to back down from a challenge, even one that is self-imposed.
Having fingernails is a trip. I can scratch things! And pick up coins!
It’s the little things that delight me.
But seriously, my hands look so pretty. I even treated myself to a real manicure this weekend.
Yesterday Mr. Darcy and I went out for food and I did not put on a speck of make up. I felt like I walked out into the world naked. Usually I insist on putting on my eyebrows (which means filling in the sparse bits so they appear even), mascara and cover up on any red spots.
Do you wear make up? If you do, what is your bare minimum face?