It’s been ages since I shared a tenant-related story. Partly because I have this fear that some of them have googled my email address and found the blog. Partly because people aren’t being incredibly stupid assholes (KNOCK ON WOOD).
I will tell you this though- remember when The Smell Lady was harassing the Japanese exchange student with daily accusations of smoking pot in his apartment? Well, he’s long gone (and so is she, thankfully) and yet there is still a distinct pot smell coming from across the hall. Turns out, it was his neighbor (the woman who watches our cats when we go out of town) who is the culprit. She straight up lied to Smell Lady’s face about it. I don’t blame her. I mean, what good would confessing do? Fuel her fire and no one in their right mind would EVER want more of her wrath.
Gee, I don’t miss her one bit.
Meanwhile we’ve had an on-going ant problem in multiple units located in the front section of the building. At first it was in 2 apartments, then it grew to 4, and now it’s 6 and counting- including our apartment. I hate ants. Let me emphatically reiterate my feelings: I HATE ANTS. They gross me out due to their high volume, persistence and rampant foraging. Despite being very clean people. Despite the 8 traps we have set along their trail. Despite me going all Pulp Fiction on their asses, they continue to come en mass in search of food.
Let me explain what “going all Pulp Fiction on their asses” means. It’s me basically losing my shit in the kitchen as they are swarming about the floor and counter. Picture me standing there, eyes bugging out, red-faced and fuming, screaming “I WILL EXECUTE EVERY MOTHERFUCKING LAST ONE OF YOU!” as I spray them with Windex. That’s what it means.
It’s not my finest moment. I’m pretty sure it scares the cats and Mr. Darcy. But as I have previously made clear, I HATE ANTS.
So Thursday we have AARD coming out for the 3rd time to spray except this time every single apartment on the bottom two floors is going to be sprayed. Even if they have never seen an ant. We must eliminate this problem. Some of our tenants have been suffering for far longer than us and the damn ants are even in their bathrooms (eww). Unfortunately, spraying means no humans or pets can be present in the units for 2-4 hours after. Which means on my day off I will get to cart my two cats over to my Mom’s for a couple hours. The upside of that is that I don’t have to pay for boarding them AND I get to hang out with my Mom and nephew for a bit. Hopefully none of the tenants will throw a fit about having to board their pet (so far, not a peep) and this final spraying will end the wrath of ants.