The Tide of Friendship

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships.

When I lived in The Cruz I had a close-knit group of friends to pal around with. We were, for the most part, serial dating and free for impromptu gatherings, evenings cooking dinner and watching American Idol, walks along the ocean, drunk karaoke-ing. It was the best of times and I didn’t even know it. I guess this is nostalgia at its finest but lately I’ve been missing the ease that came with living within blocks of my best friends and the sureness of those friendships. Now, years later, we’re scattered along the West & East Coasts (Hi Dumpling in North Carolina!) and our connection, while still unbreakable in my opinion, is stunted by busy schedules, grown up responsibilities and many, many miles. Weeks pass without conversation. Months fly by and my only glimpse into their life is a Facebook status update or an email.

Moving to Seattle was the right decision for me even though it broke me open, leaving my tight-knit group of friends behind. Maybe I set in motion what was meant to be- first I flew the coop, then the rest of them followed towards their own destinies. We did the right thing because life is about moving on. But grant me this moment of nostalgia. . . to remember when it was effortless and I felt surrounded by unconditional friendship.

I have friends here. I do not mean to imply that whatsoever. I know a lot of great people, actually. It’s just. . . different. I feel like I have been swimming upstream trying to forge friendships akin to the ones I left behind. But life seems too full for everyone and there isn’t enough time or impetus to make it so. We’re all so busy with LIFE- jobs and chores and errands and obligations and homes and kids and pets and family and boy/girlfriends, etc. Is this a part of growing up? That it becomes harder to make friends? As a 38 year old woman with two jobs, a live in boyfriend, and no kids, I feel like I am in limbo when it comes to fitting into distinct groups. I am no longer in my 20’s, interested in partying all night or going to concerts that start at 11pm on a work night, even though I delight in the company of my 20-something friends. I am not a parent so that puts me on the outside of that sector. I can’t meet up for play dates or swap birth stories. Even being part of a couple presents its challenges- trying to find  like-minded couples to hang out with where both of us meld with the couple can be difficult. And factor in you have 4 schedules to balance rather than 2 and well, making plans is difficult to say the least. I joked to Mr. Darcy that someone needs to make a couples website where you can find compatible couples to befriend (not a swingers site, ahem).

I try to plan get togethers in the hopes a community will be born. I send mass emails to local acquaintances inviting them to shows or festivals or what-have-you thinking maybe if I just keep asking, the connections I long for will appear. Maybe it’s the dreaded Seattle Freeze- where everyone is friendly but it’s hard to make friends. I piece together what I can but I feel. . .left out. It’s juvenile and silly and, well, it is true for me right now. Recently I’ve been feeling the left out-ness acutely. A series of small moments have occurred with friends and acquaintances and this feeling of not being on anyone’s A list has built up inside of me. I feel lame even typing that but that is the feeling. And as Kaply reminds me, feelings aren’t facts. But damn it, sometimes they suck.

I debated even posting this because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (because that is so not my intention!) but in the end I needed to type this out to gain some perspective. Maybe I’m just in a mood or this is a phase. I’m sure things will shift with time. I just wanted to pause and give myself this moment to feel the nostalgia and the longing. And to honor that twinge of sadness plucking at my heart.

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50 thoughts on “The Tide of Friendship

  1. I’ve found finding that community of friends of which you speak one of the toughest parts of adulthood. And adding a partner to the mix just makes it more complicated (because, as you say, trying to find “couple friends” where everyone gels is challenging).

    No advice, just wanted to say that you aren’t alone in feeling this way. And I don’t live in Seattle–I live in Phoenix, where most people are from somewhere else originally–so I don’t think it’s unique to your city.

  2. I have been feeling the same thing since I moved here. I came up from California, and I had a very tight group of friends there. The kind that were right there for you NO.MATTER.WHAT. Now, I find that making friends is very difficult, and the friendships I do forge just don’t have that same deep level of trust. I thought it was just me, but when my current boyfriend moved up from Idaho, he commented the same.

    So, you are not alone in that feeling, and I’m sure no one is going to take offense. It IS harder as you get older. It seems like it should be the other way around, but alas, it is not.

    I think your idea about the website is a great idea though. Send me the link when you found it! ;-D

  3. Gah, I feel this so acutely, too. I have good friends who I love, but I miss that close-knit sense of camaraderie from having a solid group. I feel the “not fitting in” thing, too. Not to toot my own horn (but uh, BEEP BEEP) I feel a lot older than lots of 20-somethings that I know because of my career and general preference of getting a lot of sleep, etc. but simultaneously behind them because I don’t have kids nor am I married and into “nesting.” I don’t want to go out and party all night, nor do I want to go to the park with your kids (I mean, sure, okay, sometimes, but not as my main social gathering). I feel like friends are hard to find and I’m hopeful that someday, I’ll find my People.

    For the record, if I lived in Seattle, we’d be going to shows and festivals so hard. And returning before 10:30 PM so we can cuddle with cats and snuggle the boyfriends.

  4. I could have written this.

    I long for friends with whom I can go for coffee, or for my husband to have friends who take him out from time to time, or a couple who’s at about the same point as us – with great babysitters or no kids with whom we can do things. I remember when I had that group fondly. We seem too busy to see much of anyone most of the time.

    J and I moved just over 2 years ago to a new place where really neither of us knew anyone. We’ve finally started making connections and meeting people and inviting them in, trying to forge those friendships and make something happen.

    I don’t know if we as society realize what community we’re starting to let get away. The more time I spend in front of a screen, the more I miss meeting people in real life.

  5. Have you ever heard of meetup.com? Its NOT a singles site, although there are some singles groups on it. Basically, the thought is to pull together like-minded people in the same geographical area.

    I know people who have had terrific luck with this site. I am just now trying it out, and the idea seems to be really good. There is so much available out there that we just dont know about in our own sheltered little worlds.

    If you like to hike, you can look up hiking groups in your area. Walk a dog? Theres a group for that. If you like to dance, there are dancing groups. The website use is free and it has been my experience that most of the groups are free or have minimal fees.

    I have moved too many times in my life to count (Its somewhere around 25 times, and I’m 49 years old), and feeling left out is something I have been through (and am currently going through myself). I say the same thing… its juvenile, its silly, but it IS the way [we] feel. My therapist tells me to take bold steps. Delve into the unknown… and keep trying. So I do.

    Also, if you cant find a group… make one! (I’m told that too) The fact is, there IS someone else out there in your situation… and looking for the same things… you just have to find them!

    All the best to you!

  6. Oh, friend. I know exactly how you feel. When we moved here ten years ago, we knew it was where we were supposed to be. But we left all of our friends behind and I was lonely for girlfriends. I still remember praying one morning as I drove to work, asking God to send me at least one girlfriend.

    Now, I have so many great friends, and a few who are heart-friends. I also have a few of those heart-friends who are not physically nearby, but whom I love so much.

    Here’s to you finding those types of friendships you’re seeking. xoxo

  7. Part of nostalgia is the completeness of the memory. We often wax poetic about a “simpler” time. Well, when we were living the moment of that simpler time it had a looming question of “how’s this going to turn out?”. Whether it was high school and “are you going to pass?” or “are you liked?” or as an adult “can I pay my rent?” or “is this the guy for me?”. When we look back, we have all of the answers so our memory wraps the past up with a nice little bow and we remember our favorite parts. Is it that our life was simpler? No, since the day we were born its had it’s good days and bad. We think being a baby would be bliss, but if you’ve ever heard a baby wale for a bottle, you’re reminded that in that relative moment, life is Hell for that baby, but in retrospect, it was just a bottle. The lesson in all of this is of course to live fully in our moment. We don’t know what the future will bring, which makes it scary. There will come a day you’ll be waxing poetic about your current life, your current living situation, your current friends, because that memory will be complete and fond. You’ll look back and smile about your small apartment and all the times the cat threw up. And you’ll remember your current friends and how you could walk to your yoga studio. That’s the blessing of nostalgia. The hard work is learning to appreciate it all in the moment instead of waiting until you’re looking back on it and realizing how good it was.

    Pecked clumsily with my large thumb on my iPod

  8. That was supposed to be just some food for thought, but I couldn’t proof it once I wrote it since my screen wouldn’t let me scroll! So consider it my before coffee word throw up!

  9. Your post and so many of these comments resonate with me. My husband and I often say we wish there was a way to find couple friends that are like-minded and don’t have kids. It’s hard to forge close friendships as kid-free adults. Most people are so busy, and there aren’t the myriad of social activities like there were in college.

  10. Oh Friend, I have been feeling the same way. I was thinking this weekend, when my mom was visiting, how much our lives have changed. And how much I -sometimes desperately- miss those days we lived just across the road from each other. The nights of group meals, wine, impromptu breakfast, thrift store shopping, walks along west cliff. And although I have made some wonderful friends here, I so cherish those who have known me longest, who I don’t need to explain all my crazy quirks too, who know my history. I miss that ease. Again, I do love my friends here…and we are forging some wonderful connections, but I too, feel lost in the -not married, don’t have babies, cannot party all night- sea of my late 30’s.

    I am so grateful for you, friend. And I miss you.
    xo.

  11. All of my best friends live inside my computer. I say that all the time. I feel like you in that I’m too old to party all night, but I don’t have kids. Where do I fit in? Especially when my (much older) husband still wants to party all night.

    Drugs help.

    Also, thankfully, I have made friends with a group of local bloggers and I have my sister close by. So that helps.

    (Crash Test Mommy is just the best thing ever. If only she didn’t have those 4 darn kids hogging all of her time.)

  12. Hello, my A-List friend 🙂 I love the first sentence of Bob’s epic comment. I also think what you’re describing is a function of age and of knowing ourselves. I definitely feel this. And while there are people I could hang out with if I wanted, I think I know myself better (as I age) and it feels less satisfying or more noticeable to be with those with whom I relate on a more shallow level. I think that when we are younger, there are fewer paths so it’s easier to feel like our friends are in the same place as we are. And now, there are 1,000 paths and it’s easier to relate to people on our paths.

    I actually think having friendships that are borne online can contribute to this feeling. I mean, you and I met online but we were meant to be :> What I mean is having some sort of connection to people that we don’t see day-to-day, and just the transience of some online friendships. I don’t know; I feel ya. That’s what all this means. And I wish we saw each other’s gorgeous mugs more often. xo

  13. I feel the same way. I enjoy spending time with friends and acquaintances, but I feel like I’m kind of hanging out waiting for my friends’ kids to grow up so we can go back to having fun. No one can even do a girls’ weekend anymore. Totally agree about the couples’ website.

  14. I am around your age, and I think it’s the age we are. Yeah, a lot of people have kids and that is where they socialize, or get sucked into. It gets harder to meet people. It takes time. But I agree with the comments that sometimes when you look back in the past, you see things as better than they actually were.

  15. As I get older, I find it easy to make new friends but difficult to establish a solid friendship. I think it is due a lot to the busyness of people our age, as well as the priorities of those you meet. That said, I’m so glad our friendship has grown beyond the blogoscope into real life and look forward to all the fun we’ll have establishing our deeper friendship. xoxo

  16. I’m sure you know this, but I ALWAYS read your posts, but rarely comment. I am only a few months older than you and have had similar feelings for YEARS. I left a whole circle of friends behind in the bay area – and it was a little tough creating new friends here. There was one person I worked with who brought me into her circle of friends, and it was a tremendous help in the forging new friends in Seattle effort. But I sometimes feel a little on the outside of the group. Now I’m on the cusp of a whole different set of feelings (given I’m expecting child #1 any day now). For example, while the NW doesn’t particularly have babies young, I feel much older than the expecting-their-first moms I’ve met. I also panic that I will LOOK like an old mom (I see botox in my future). How am I going to join that circle of mommies when my current state in life is SO different?!?
    Back to empathizing with you. =) The whole finding couples to hang with has been challenging. We have a few couples that we do things with; but it was a real effort for each of us to become friends with the other persons friends – hope that make sense. Honestly, though? There are only a few couples – maybe 8-10 that really work for us. Even then, both parties are making efforts because interests/hobbies/activities don’t line up all that well.
    In the past 4 years, those couples we initially found started having children or their existing children became a more demanding part of their lives (e.g., extra-curriculars) – there is one couple who I suspect will never have children, but they are great with the children. I really appreciated the ones who still made time to go out with us sans children. Hang in there because friendships do take work to develop and maintain (also, your website suggestion is awesome).

  17. I don’t think that any of this is silly at all. I definitely learned the (very) hard way that they close-knit circle of friends that I left behind when I moved to the US from my tiny German hometown was something that I took for granted for way too long.
    Now, here I am, going on 4 years (back) in Sacramento and I still don’t have a circle of friends to speak of. It’s very frustrating and yes, it feels silly sometimes, but best friends (let alone couple friends) are not something that you can pick up at the mall.

    There is a 20’s and 30’s couple’s meet-up here in Sacramento – we haven’t tried it out yet, ahem! – maybe there is something like that in Seattle, too?

  18. I’m glad you shared this. You seem very social and connected on your blog, but I appreciate knowing that you have moments where you feel you’re not on anyone’s A list too. (I reckon there’s not much doubt you’re on Mr. Darcy’s though.)

    For me, it’s been large news that people haven’t thought to mention until months after the fact or that I’ve stumbled upon by chance on FB that has given me a concrete sense of how far down I am on their list of important people. Heartbreaking two-fold because as far up on my list as they are (not an actual list), I can’t really count on them.

    Also it is hard making friends at our age. People have their lives and circles fairly set, or enough so they’re not invested in befriending new people. I tried a couple times here but one’s friendliness was just commercially motivated and the other turned out to be a thief and a liar. But it’s not like I even managed to hang out with either in a social setting. The Seattle Freeze is not unique to Seattle.

    Even with my old friends (all far away), most of them are married and have kids now.

  19. I can relate to this so very well. It’s hard to make friends and it’s even harder to find close friends. The ones you can text whenever about random stuff. The ones who understand and “get” you. I’m going through this same process and while I’ve made awesome connections, I still feel like I don’t have that super connection or community feeling just yet. *sigh*

  20. Oh, it’s not just me?! I agree with comments that I could have written this, it’s something we all go through as we grow older. Relationships, various life situations, families, jobs, whatever all change so fast. It’s so tough to make friends in general, especially when we are so used to having ‘ready made’ friends to lean on. (I don’t think it’s Seattle specific thing either though I did notice that my social group in Portland came a little easier but that could be due to age). I’ve always thought it was just me having this issue. I don’t want to take comfort in the fact others are in the same situation because it is a lonely one. But it does speak to the fact, perhaps, that there is a new group of friends waiting to be made, even if in cyberspace, perhaps? Oh well, I can feel a tangent coming on so I’ll stop but I really enjoy your blog and have liked all these comments.

  21. You cawed into my head and wrote what I am gig through as well. It is hard when you are seeing your friends have moments that you were not a part of. I have been dealing with that and while it is not jealousy it is hurtful that I was not invited. It is hard to make friends when you are coupled with no kids and work in the same office. There are limited opportunities . For me, I am trying to figure it all out what to do but, it has made me appreciate my husband and my close friends a bit more since they are the ones that drop everything to talk.

  22. I find this post amazing for many reasons.

    1) I am shocked! Mostly because I feel like you DO have so many friends that you get to see and do things with. It’s always you I think of when I think :I wish I had a community like Sizzle. . . ” But then again, it’s not exactly the same as what you are talking about. There are definitely different friendship levels

    2) I have been thinking this exact post for 2 months now (duh). I am SO glad I moved here. I KNOW I belong here. But I feel like I don’t have real friends. Well, I have 1 real friend. And she is only as dependent as her relationship status. AND she is moving in 2 months. At least when I was in a relationship, I considered him my best friend. And we loved doing stuff together. But even then I felt lonely. And now I feel lost. In fact, I was talking to my oldest friend last night-telling her exactly this. I have no way to make friends. I know so few like-minded people and they all seem all full in the friendship department. And at this point in my life (aka my life is falling apart point), this is devastating. I have no clue what to do.

    3) Thank you for writing this better than I could. I, clearly, have no answer. I wish I did. You know you can always call me. Basically, I am ALWAYS free these days . . . (that was supposed to be nice, but sounds sad).

  23. It’s probably because I travel all the time and have such a crazy schedule keeping me busy, but… my complete lack of a local “social circle” never bothers me for very long. I mean, sure, I look at the photo collages of my 20-something friends on the wall and think of what great times they were. And yes there are definitely times I long to have friends like that in my life again. But then I slip back to reality of my life now and I’m okay with all that being in the past.

    Probably because I’ve got dozens of friends online at all hours of the day and night, and I never feel alone or abandoned because they’re always there no matter where I’m at. It’s not the same as hanging out with “real life” friends, but they’re no less special to me, and have so easily filled the void of friendships past.

    All that being said, it kills me that WE don’t get to hang out every once in a while! I’m three hours away, which is such a tiny boundary to keeping up with yourself and Mr. Darcy… and yet… life happens. We really got to change that. We need a couple of blog events every year to catch up. Or… even just to find some cool show or event that we can meet at would be great! Certainly the next time Etta James is in town we should see that hot mess again! I know that’s not exactly the type of “constant contact” friends you are talking about, but it’s something!

  24. One of the most important things I’ve been learning since moving here 5 years ago is how to become friends with people that are very different than me. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have any. And it’s only been in the past year I’ve made some. It is good in many ways but still a struggle when they are very conservative and I am anything but! One thing I am learning is trying to see someone else’s point of view (even if I don’t agree) and to keep my trap shut when necessary.

  25. I know exactly how you feel. Ever since I’ve moved here it’s been so hard a)dealing with the fact my best friends are so far away and b)making new friends. People here are friendly but that doesn’t translate to friendship. It doesn’t help that I’m not one to party all night or go clubbing. It’s hard that there are so many people I’m friends with online too because they mostly are out of my range for daily visits. Vahid’s friends are great and I’ve met a couple of my own but it’s hard to know that if you don’t talk or see each other…well I feel that they don’t really miss it. Or that they don’t realize that they haven’t spoken to me in weeks.

    Did any of that make sense? Sorry if it doesn’t, I’m sick and on a diet of saltines. I might slowly be going crazy.

  26. Sizzle, I also could of written this. I was in Seattle for six years and found that Seattle was probably the toughest spot to form that “group of friends” out of anywhere I’ve lived in the country. Add in the age thing and the different responsibilities and it’s another layer of complication. I’m back in California now and while new friends are harder to find, I’m lucky to have my college crew (GO SLUGS!) that remained here. All I can say is keep trying… there are definite rewards to being the social coordinator. 🙂

  27. First, I recently found your site and LOVE IT. This particular post resonated with me. (Especially the phrase, “where everyone is friendly, but it’s hard to make friends”) I’ve lived in the same area all my life and still feel like you! I used to have a tight knot group, but everyone moved out or on. I try to convince myself it doesn’t matter so much, but it does. 😦 Thank you for putting everything down so perfectly.

  28. I feel this way a lot, mostly I think because I have rather less of the kind of life most everyone else has and a bit more free time at weird hours.
    But since you are on my A list, along with the Unbearable Hotness Of Robert and Cole, I am just grateful that the people I love go out of their way to make time for me. True fact.

  29. Well it is probably no surprise to you that I totally understand where you’re coming from. There just seem to be even fewer opportunities to meet and keep new friends as life goes on. Even for people that make the effort, are involved, etc. It’s just hard. And it’s especially true for two people. I will often end up liking half of the couple (which sounds just awful) and not so much the other. Double dates were for high school, I guess, because I’ve never seen people in their 30s do it for fun.

    And don’t even get me started on the kid/parent thing. Even if I have kids, say, in the next few years, I think about how I may STILL not “fit in” or whatever as I will be in my mid-thirties at least and there will be all kinds of parents in their twenties… and then where does that leave us older parents? It’s all so… weird.

    It does make you grateful for the friendships you do have right now, those you know are everlasting. I am not sure we get the chance to make those for the rest of our lives.

  30. I know exactly what you are talking about. I miss having friends that stop over whenever they feel like it, and knowing there will always be someone that will come over or call or whatever. Part of it is growing up and being so busy/not making enough time and part of it is me also not really fitting exactly into the boxes people like to put their friends in. I have 4 kids but as much as I love them I have other interests too. It is really hard to connect as an adult and find your “people”. I wish we lived closer because I would love to be one of your people…I mean I hope I am even though we can’t get together, but I know it isn’t the same as if we could just show up for each other in person whenever we felt like it.

  31. Add me to the list of people who can totally relate! I always think of you as having countless friends and social things to do (from your blog) but I guess many of us are feeling the same way. From the outside looking in people may think the same thing about me . . . I wish I had some great advice, but just wanted to say you are not alone!

  32. Putting what you want out there is a great way to get the ball rolling. What you describe sounds like lots of fun and I can’t imagine it will elude you for long. If we weren’t on opposite coasts, I’d join you in a heartbeat.

  33. I can relate to so much of this post (two jobs, no kids, coupled…). My husband and I have friends…together and on our own, but everyone, including us, is SO BUSY that it seems to take a monumental act just to arrange getting together for a meal sometimes. We see a lot of our friends at “events,” but there is little intimate “hanging out.” I find I have fewer and fewer friends at work too as everyone starts or keeps having babies. In my case, I know I could make more effort, but it would also be nice to see effort from others as well. xo

  34. i always think about what life would be like without my life-long friends. I mean lots of people move away from home, but I can’t imagine that is for me, for that very reason. I would miss pal-ing around with my girlfriends who knew me before I shaved, knew how to talk to a boy, or even wore a bra.

    Although i think it is admirable for people who can be so independant to move away from “home”!!

  35. Once again I could have written this post myself, just without the boyfriend part. Sometimes I feel so immature, longing to be on someone else’s call list for fun things, or even for a quick ice cream cone or a walk. I’m tired of being the one who does all the inviting, and over the last year or so, I’ve just stopped. Sad to say, I spend a lot of time with my cats at the moment.

    Good for you in looking ahead to bringing people to you– I’m sure with your personality, that community will come together soon.

  36. I know this feeling so well. I’ve relocated a few times, and I love where I’ve landed, but at the same time I have no core group of friends. Friends, yes, but no group that has regular nights in or out, no one that I consult with before making weekend plans. I miss it, hard.

    I think it has a lot to do with our generation. Our parents probably didn’t wander far from home or if they did, they didn’t do it too often and neither did their friends. You had your group that you had always been around. Now relocating is a regular part of life and it’s common for people to move far, far away. Friends get way more spread out and our lives are busier making it harder to convene. Facebook and the like help us stay in touch, but we’re still missing that meaningful in-person community.

  37. friendships are very hard. I go through similar phases of feeling acutely left out, sometimes I even feel like it’s intentional. I offer no words of advice, but I’d love to kick it with you regularly.

  38. I thought it was impossible to make friends in adulthood! It doesn’t help that I’m shy but I haven’t made a new friend since school (aside from online). I find people just don’t want to be bothered :/

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  40. Uh, you are so right about so much of this. I long for deeper relationships even among my close friends but also feel the pull of adult crap like errands and job stuff, etc., and sometimes I just want to go home and lie on the couch, you know? But I hear you. It’s tough.

  41. Just last week I was finally able to catch up and sit down for an afternoon beer with a friend I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen since her birthday party in September, along with another friend I haven’t seen since a wedding last June. We all mutually bemoaned the fact that we don’t see each other anymore, how hard it is to find the time to balance relationships and work and friendships and family and the rest of life, but I pointed out that back when we all first became friends, we had the luxury of the huge amounts of downtime that came from being full-time students with part time jobs who could all get together to study on sunny afternoons, and if we got bored in the evenings all we had to do was open our doors and see who else in our residence hall had their doors open, too, and just stroll on down.

    I think we all feel what you’re writing about here, now and then. Thank you for writing this.

  42. I think Bob is a very smart guy! He is right. We wax poetic about the past though, when thinking about it, I wasn’t any more happy then than now. I understand the feeling and Kaply is right, feeling is necessarily truth but feeling is how you are at this time. People come and go and sometimes show up with more intensity than the first go around. I say this makes life more interesting.

  43. I feel like I could have written this. I had two close girlfriends that I saw regularly who I rarely see now and it’s been hitting me hard. I feel adrift, too. It’s really sucky to not have that circle you know you can always turn to and count on.

    Thank goodness we at least have our blog circles.

    And hopefully this limbo is a passing one…

  44. I feel ya girl….I might not just be swimming upstream, maybe I am in the wrong stream?!
    I miss those days, like a physical feeling of missing.

    sups

  45. Vancouver has a similar freeze. It’s disheartening – everyone is so concerned about being a certain way or appearing a certain way that it’s really difficult to forge connections. Vancouver is a very on-the-surface city (at least, it feels that way to me.)
    Big hugs, lady.

  46. Having the perspective of living in Seattle my first 40 years of life I know exactly what you are talking about. It is the “Seattle Freeze”. We have now lived in Las Vegas for four and our social life rocks. So many transplants from everywhere else and a lot of friendly people. As much as I miss my family and friends in Seattle I don’t think I could ever move back, but it will always be my hometown.

  47. I kept replying to this post in my head and then neglecting to actually reply to this post via a comment (genius!), but I just wanted to say: I’m so glad you wrote this.

    And I wish I lived down the block from you so we could wander aimlessly and purposefully and talk about everything and nothing multiple times a week.

    Love you, babe.

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