Scene from the Homefront

I walk out of the bathroom and ask Mr. Darcy, “When did we buy that toilet paper? During the Depression?!”

“Yes. It was on sale at Target.”

“Well,  it makes my vagina cry.”

Seriously. Our 24 roll pack of toilet paper is like, one-ply. It boasts of “1,000 sheets per roll. Now we know why! AND WE HAVE 24 ROLLS OF IT.

Damn sale price lured me in.

I miss Charmin.

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16 thoughts on “Scene from the Homefront

  1. This was a source of debate in our household from the outset.

    She preferred the 1000 sheet sandpaper while i preferred the two-three ply softness. Mathematically, you can use less of the three ply to accomplish the same task comfortably, but the Missus is a fan of quantity over quality so we’d run out of the multi-ply extremely fast. She also complained that it did not “absorb” as well. (I don’t get that) Anyway, we “compromised” and got the “Extra-Soft” two-ply from the same 1000 sheet manufacturer.

    You know thinking about it now, we DO have like three bathrooms: I could totally get whatever kind of paper I wanted for MY bathroom. Hmmmm….

  2. arrrgghhh going through the same thing at my house. moved in with bf, discovered he bought the CHEAPEST CRAP EVER, not acceptable to my delicate ladyflower. in a fit of resentment, bought huge package of fluffy, awesome, charmin…. only to discovered *I’D* somehow also bought their 1-ply crap version. MY VAGINA, IT WEEPS.

  3. I once donated cheap toilet paper to Goodwill so that I could get new stuff. Hate, hate, hate cheap toilet paper.

  4. I will often shop for a deal when it comes to home products. However, not when it comes to paper towels, Kleenex and toilet paper … the cheap versions disintegrate way too easily!

  5. I hate when I am lured in by the deal. I always hate how much money I spend on TP… I mean seriously it isn’t like it needs to be archival quality, but if I don’t pay, my vagina pays! My husband always bought the Scott’s 1 ply but I think I told him something similar when we started living together. (I think I threatened to close down business….that ammended his ways quickly…natural consequences dude!)

  6. Bwahahaha, we had the exact same conversation at my house the other day. I normally buy Scott Extra-Soft, but thought I’d save a few bucks and get Pert (also boasting 1000 sheets per roll!). Yeahhhhh, not so much, and will probably take me for-freaking-ever to use it up before I can buy more.

  7. Toilet paper really isn’t something that should be compromised. Tell Mr. Darcy he’s going to have to install a bidet to make up for this.

  8. Heeheehee. I’m probably one of the few women who willingly buys the cheap stuff, and not for monetary reasons. It’s because I hate bits of TP stuck to my lady bits.

  9. I know I’m late, but I can’t pass up the opportunity to say HOW MUCH I hate one-ply. After four year of working with the military overseas, I’ve vowed to never let that stuff touch my ass again. 🙂

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