At Finn’s 5th birthday party this weekend he and his 9 year old neighbor friend, Leondre, were playing in the kiddie pool with a boogie board. There is a hole in it at the top of the board where a rope would hang but had long since been lost. Finn said to Leondre, “That looks like a vagina!” Leondre looking puzzled asked, “What’s that?!” And Finn, my very advanced nephew said, “It’s where the pee comes out on a girl!” Leondre looked grossed out and proclaimed his feelings with “Ewwww!”
This leads me to my next story. My mom always has to go the bathroom. I realize this is TMI but work with me here for the sake of the story.
Finn and my mom often go to the beach or the park in the morning when he arrives at her house for the day. This one time he was frolicking and playing and the time whizzed by when my mom said, “We have to go, Finn. Grandma needs to use the bathroom.” A common occurrence that once again was putting a damper on his fun. He yelled, “GRANDMA! Your vagina is stupid! It’s ruining everything!”
In public. My nephew yelled about my Mom’s vagina being stupid.
The horror. The hilarity.
Pretty soon after that outburst he looked at her sheepishly and said, “I owe you a quarter now don’t I?” Because there is a strict rule that he can’t say the word “stupid”. Her response? “You owe me more than that, buddy” as she tried not to laugh.
Good thing that kid is so damn cute.