Morning Glory

I’m lounging on the couch on Saturday morning. Mr. Darcy wakes up and in his groggy, morning way comes over to lean over the back of the couch to give me a good morning kiss.

I apologize if it’s too much information but this is important to note for the sake of the story:  Mr. Darcy is naked in this scenario.

Me: Don’t rub your penis on the couch!

Him: My wiener is not dirty.

Me: All wieners are dirty. (I was raised Catholic. This is what they taught us.)

Him: My wiener is cleaner.

Me: Vote for wiener! Your slogan can be- my wiener is cleaner!

Him: It’s an erection year.


19 thoughts on “Morning Glory

  1. hahahaha!! Love this!
    If I had told my best fella not to rub his weiner on the couch, he would’ve really overdone it with some whole-body back-and-forthing on the couch, just to make me gross out!

  2. LOL! Even better–“My weiner is cleaner than that other Weiner.” Heh heh.
    Also, Paul was giving me a (fully clothed) lap dance last night and he said the look on my face was a combination of confusion and pure horror. Boys are funny.

  3. I’m almost embarrassed to tell you this, but I will anyway. Mr. Mom has a phrase that is the male equivalent of your “All wieners are dirty.”

    It’s “soap your box,” as in “Hey old woman, go soap your box.” But he says it with love.

  4. Is that what Maddie is learning at Presentation? I was excited they were teaching masturbation until I heard the rational was to prove it was a sin. Why am I sending my daughter to a catholic school? Because I moved to San Jose and they wear uniforms, that is it.

  5. OMG best story ever. And now I know why someone wrote “penis couch” in the comments of the post I read before this one. Clearly, I read in the wrong order!

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