(Editors Note: This story starts out badly but ends happily.)
I woke up hearing the all-too-familiar sounds of a cat about to barf.
My eyes shot open and there was Dot about to throw up between us on the bed. I quickly shooed her off and she ran under the bed. I fell back to sleep. What felt like minutes later, Mr. Darcy was up and shuffling around.
“What’s up?”
“I smell shit,” he mumbled. And low and behold, Dot had pooed by his side of the bed and lovingly covered it up with a curtain (how dainty of her). He managed to clean it up while half-asleep.
Then when I got up I moved the covers only to discover a poo-shaped something fly off the bed.
“What the hell?!”
“What??”
“Jesus, what IS that? IS THAT POO?”
I turned on the light and got closer to it. It was a hairball-shaped like a turd. Oh and LOOK AT THAT! Someone had vomited on our bed.
DOOOOOOOOTTTTTIIEEE!
We stripped the bed and Mr. Darcy went back to sleep. I fed the cats and went off to dance class. Later, Mr. Darcy put the puke-covered cover and the down comforter in the wash. We were running around trying to pack the house up plus pack for our weekend away while the wash was in the dryer. When Mr. Darcy went to collect the laundry he discovered that it wasn’t dry. Not only that, the comforter had ripped during one of the cycles so feathers were EVERYWHERE when he took it out of the dryer.
I’m not kidding when I say it looked like many birds had been murdered in that laundry room. The cement floor was covered in them as well as all of his clothing. Frustrated, he tried cleaning it up and right when he was about to lose his cool entirely, I took over. I made him go upstairs and take a shower because we were already running behind to catch our ferry. I quickly realized a broom was no match for the feathers and grabbed the vacuum. We managed to get everything done without any blow ups or breakdowns and were on our way, 40 minutes later than we had originally planned to leave. Maybe we could still make the ferry at 3:35?
We arrived in Anacortes at 3:00pm and were told they were full for cars but could take walk ons. DAMN IT! I needed my car since I was the day of coordinator for the wedding we were attending and was going to be schlupping stuff around. We looked at each other dejectedly and decided we’d be first in line for the 6:35 ferry. We killed an hour at a brewery with sub-par food and then ran down our iPhone batteries waiting in the ferry line. Finally, after a 30 minute delay, we boarded the ferry and were off to Orcas Island for the wedding of good friends.
We arrived, quite tardy, to a boisterous crowd of wedding guests and a bride who was not at all put out that I was four hours behind my scheduled arrival time. Even though she is a friend of mine, they hired me and I do not like to be anything but professional in those situations. After grabbing a drink, we retired to our bedroom to get some much-needed shut-eye in preparation for the wedding the next day.
It was raining when I woke up but the owner of Orcas Hotel predicted that it would clear up around 11am. True to his word, it did. Sunny skies and beautiful vistas surrounded us.
I spent the day running around arranging flowers, tables, displays, etc. while Mr. Darcy leisurely lounged in our room, alternating between reading, napping, and playing on his iPhone. To his credit, he was my on call assistant or would come downstairs with money when I summoned him to buy me lunch. It was good for him to have a little getaway since today is his first day at his new job. It was a much-needed transition for him.

I like to think this will be their album cover and that their music sounds like Wilco meets Twisted Sister meets Weird Al.

The wedding ceremony was in this tiny, quaint little chapel in the middle of preserved wetlands. The light was magnificent in there and I can only imagine the professional photos will be breathtaking.
The bride and groom walked out to the theme song from “Revenge of the Nerds” which is so them and so awesome. They worked tirelessly on every little detail of the wedding and it showed. They even had activity books that they designed for the guests to play with while they waited for the ceremony to start complete with a crossword puzzle, guest name word search, and mad libs!
Once back at the hotel, I was ready to imbibe just a smidge since it’d been a long day and my day of coordinator duties were tapering off. (I would not have done this if these people had not been my friends.)

Let’s get this party started! (As in, let’s eat & drink all the things I have avoided for 6 weeks and pray I don’t get sick.)

The happy couple at their sweetheart table enjoying comfort foods like crab sandwiches, hush puppies, and fried chicken.
They even had a photo booth which was a huge hit with the guests. We snuck away during the reception to take ours since it had been over-run with people.

Mr. Darcy wrote the sign. And it’s true, we DO hope they have as much fun at our wedding as we did at theirs. Because we had a blast!
It really did get us excited about our wedding which is only four months and seventeen days away (eek!). I especially loved their ceremony. It was so touching, sweet, funny, and full of love. They had someone from each side of their bridal party speak about them which was just so heartfelt and lovely. And their vows to each other had the audience in tears (I was!). I’ve enjoyed the wedding planning process so far but the thing I am most looking forward to is writing the ceremony with Mr. Darcy.
There were three cakes baked lovingly by the bride and dancing after dinner. Mr. Darcy boogied with me to a couple songs (he doesn’t like to dance). There was even an amazing sunset complete with a rainbow! I do not think they special ordered that but it couldn’t have been more appropriate.
We got home yesterday to two angry cats and a mountain of boxes to fill. We’re trying to pack as much as we can while still being able to live here until Friday. Meanwhile, the cats are anxious and alternating between being very close and snuggly and running away from us. I suppose that isn’t different than when we’re not moving, come to think of it. These next few days are going to be CRAZY for us but if everything goes according to plan, come Friday we will be in our new house. We’re just waiting for the call to sign the docs and get the keys. Keep those fingers crossed for us and send us good packing mojo.
I’m grateful we got to take a mini-break to celebrate the wedding of our friends. It really gave me perspective. The chance to focus on someone else’s happiness went a long way in infusing me with energy.
So BRING IT, week. I’m ready for you. Don’t let the bags under my eyes deceive you!
**The bride has collected an amazing collection of vintage crockery which she is renting out via her new business, Rad Crockery. If you’re a local and need to rent cool plates and such, check her out!
The description of the feathers triggered some PTSD over here. Our German Shepherd mix once expressed her displeasure with us by shredding our down comforter. Feathers. All over. It would have been funny if I hadn’t been so mad.
So, the cat-induced craziness at your house made me want to puke a bit myself – what a bummer they’re so nuts right now. Not surprising – the two of you are kinda nuts, too. =) But, the wedding sounds absolutely divine. I’m sure you did wonders to alleviate stress for the bride AND you managed to have fun, too? Score!
Aforementioned groom here and with Sizzle’s amazing help the day only went off with one hitch. And seeing as that hitch was planned for over a year now I can safely say the day was perfect but certainly would not have been without your help! Thank you so much for making Saturday one of the best days of our lives, not to mention being an awesome party guest who knew how to shake a leg and boogie down! Love you!
Sounds like what started out horribly ended beautifully. You look fantastic by the way. Only you could pack for a crazy move, deal with feathers and cat puke, and look radiant the whole time. ❤
OMG the cat poop and barf morning sounds like my worst nightmare (and something that would totally happen to us here). I’m glad you guys made up for it with such a nice weekend away. Their wedding sounds SO fun! I LOVE that they came down the aisle to the Revenge of the Nerds song. It doesn’t get much more awesome than that.
What a cute wedding! Also: glad the weekend turned out great. We’ve had some cat puke issues as of late and OMG it is SO GROSS. Can’t she just puke in the toilet like a dignified human?
seeing your pictures on instagram made me instantly want to crash the wedding, it all looked so lovely and fun! glad you guys had such a good time and can’t believe your wedding is so soon, eee, yay!
I like the part where you recognize that Mr. D is about to lose it so you send him off and take over. It’s good to know your partner’s limit and know when to help them push a little past it or know when they’ve had enough.
Glad the day turned out to be a success!
Glad you got to have a break from the chaos. You deserve it. 🙂
Lesson learned: if your pet throws up on your sheets and you need to be somewhere by a certain time, just throw those sheets away! 😉
Looks like such a lovely wedding and place! Glad you guys had an awesome time.