Both Sides Now

It takes me a while to trust good news- like I can hear it but my heart doesn’t register it. I go along with the motions of elation hoping I will truly feel the joy. I’m just not that good at being in the happy yet but I’m practicing all the time. There is always good news to discover it’s just that sometimes you have to seek it out.

Life’s ups and downs are so obvious to me lately. I live in the sharp rise and fall of my life. In just this last week I’ve received the good news from the doctor; a very old man driving a boat of a car unknowingly hit my car while I pumped gas and then drove off leaving me fuming and my car dented; I volunteered at The Nutcracker a just days after the Newtown tragedy surrounded by little kids dressed up in sparkly dresses and ties with excitement beaming off their sweet faces; and we were told that the still-wet basement that is going to take longer and cost more to fix than first anticipated. . .

I’ve been deep inside myself lately, trying to sort out my year. It’s been a wild ride – so many highs and lows. I’m hoping I’m on the part of the ride that levels out after all the fast-paced racing around tight corners and the giant falls from great heights. The wind still whips my hair as the ride makes it slow finish to the end. There’s a smile on my face, my heart is racing, and I’m wanting to ride again.

So I’m quieter than usual, especially in this space. When I find the words, I’ll visit.

I hope your holidays are merry and bright. Hug everyone a little longer and smile as much as you can.


10 thoughts on “Both Sides Now

  1. Mrs. Sizzle: (it was fun writing that) I hope it is not too presumptuous to say I believe I know precisely what you mean when you state you’ve been deep inside yourself, trying to sort life out. I have experienced a similar response to being shoved around by life, (hard) the past run of years.

    Quiet is a natural reaction, and perhaps provides necessary space and time for healing to happen, and then be appreciated. Finally, trusted.

    You take your time and we will be here, whenever you feel like visiting. Have a light filled holiday, and you too remember to hold your hugs and your smiles as long as you can. We all need more of both.

  2. It seems like a lot of people I know–self included–had a weird 2012. Not terrible, certainly not the worst, but not entirely great either. I hope 2013 falls firmly on the side of awesome for all. šŸ™‚

  3. Someone gave me their motto for 2013 and I am sharing it with those that may also want it- I’m Going to Feng Shui the Shit out of 2013. You’ve had quite a roller coaster of a year this year and I’ve had one of the worst years ever. It’s time for a change. Here’s to a great year for you and Mr. Darcy next year (and maybe a little Sizzle….)

  4. I think it’s pretty special that you are able to recognize life’s ups and downs AND that you know you’re ready for things to smooth out for a while. I’m cheering for you, whether you’re writing in this space or not. Merry merry to you and yours.

  5. Are we allowed to ask if the house problem is new or if the previous owners kind of screwed you over?
    Also, in case you don’t know it, if you had the house inspected you should have recourse with your inspector to pay the cost of having missed such a problem with the house. Typically they should be insured for making that kind of mistake on an inspection so neither of you will be bankrupted by what sounds like a very expensive repair. My parents had that happen on their home inspection and the inspector’s insurance covered it. This assumes your situation is something that should’ve been caught during the inspection.
    Best of luck with the repair!

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