These Things

Apparently my super power is being able to hear a cat puking from the other room while I am asleep and wearing ear plugs.

I’d like a new super power, please.

The bright side is I am awake early enough to write this post. You’re welcome?

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The other day on FB I was tagged in this meme where I was given an age and I had to talk about what I was doing then. I inadvertently got 2 ages- 20 and 26. I could not for the life of me remember what the hell I was doing at either age. I knew that at 20 my father had just passed away and I was living at home going to a local community college. But 26? NO CLUE. It basically took five people, six including me, to piece together my life.  (I was living on my own for the first time without a roommate, probably dating the homeless guy. Let’s not talk about it!)

My memory is shot. Can gingko biloba save it?

***

The carpet is pulled back and the pads have been sucked dry. There is a lingering mildew smell. The contractor comes out tomorrow. All parts are crossed that this is not a serious (re: expensive) problem. We googled more information about the problem and it turns out that’s really helpful if you want to increase your freaking out.

The rains are returning today and we are watchful and nervous.

If this can’t get fixed soon and/or it breaks the bank, our holiday housewarming party is going to have to be postponed.

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I go to my gyno oncologist in 14 days for my first pap post- surgeries. Not that I am counting the days. Not that I am nervous for the results. Not that I am lying about not counting and being nervous.

Will we be cleared to try to get pregnant or will we have to face the harsh reality – that option does not exist for us?

CLIFF HANGER.

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This Adrienne Rich line is ringing true for me right now: “The moment of change is the only poem.”

Yes.

This, That, The Other Thing

It’s freezing in our living room as I type this. The flue in our chimney is stuck open and there is a terrible draft. We called a repairman and this nice ol’ Irish guy with a thick accent named Phil and his cohort Ron came by Saturday to check the situation. Friendly fellows with sooty hands- the types of guys who tell it to you straight and stand around in your basement living room giving your tips about your wet carpet. I told Darcy I want to adopt Phil as my uncle but he said only if he’ll give us the family discount. I just want him to tell me tales of the motherland. No matter if he’s not actually from Ireland, he can make it up.

Yes, we have wet carpet in our basement living room. Currently it’s about a 4 ft by 4 ft area under a window though the water is not coming in from the window. Because Seattle has been besieged with unusually heavy rains, every person I called for help couldn’t see us for over a week. I picked the one who could come the soonest (8 days later) and meanwhile we have towels over the area where we stomp around to soak up the water, then dry the wet towels, then start the process again. We spent the greater part of Friday morning fighting with each other and dealing with a problematic gutter drain that was dumping water right in the same corner of the house where the floor is sopping wet. Coincidence? Probably not.

The upswing is we finally have a new couch for our downstairs living space.

It’s not getting much use yet because it’s wet in one corner of that room and the fireplace makes it drafty. We’re on a tight deadline to fix some of these problems because we’re losing money heating the outside and well, wet carpet is not the kind of breeding ground we’re at all interested in and because I am ridiculous and we’re planning a housewarming/holiday party for two weeks from now.

I know. I KNOW. I never quit.

But hey, we hung up my jazz wall and there is even room to add to it in the future. Hanging stuff up helps this place feel more like home even if it’s soggy in spots and undecorated in others.

After the wedding, honeymoon, and now these must-fix house issues, Christmas is going to be about the sentiment rather than the materialistic gift around these parts. I don’t need a new purse (I just want one, big difference) but we do NEED to feel warm when sitting in our living room and avoid growing mold in our carpet. We already started getting into the holiday spirit by hosting our first Thanksgiving in our new house. I managed to cook the turkey without drying it out (which is good because turkey is on the top five favorite foods list of Mr. Darcy’s) and we had a delicious meal with my family and some of the nerds.

In case you didn’t notice, I got my hair cut. It’s not as short as I thought I’d go but it’s a step in the right direction. I also went more brunette.

Other stuff is happening but maybe I’ll actually start blogging again and tell you about it.

Chaired

I was scouring the internet for weeks, checking Craig’s List daily when we finally decided to bite the bullet and just buy a brand new chair from Macy’s. It matches our couch in style though not in color. The blue does not match the blues in the rug but I’m going to pretend that doesn’t bother me.

It's a soft blue though the photo doesn't do the color justice.

And this? Will be our last big purchase until we move because we’re getting serious with an aggressive savings plan. We decided this over dinner at Poppy, a pricey restaurant in our neighborhood.

Do you have any budgeting tips that help you save? We’d love to hear them!

This chair is Cat Approved.

My Week

It is so like me to use my week off at home from work to not relax but instead tackle a lengthy to do list. I made an initial list on Monday and subsequently have made 3 more lists after things had been crossed off and the list looked messy. Yes, I am that type. And yes, I sometimes write things on my list that I already did just for the satisfaction of crossing it off. What can I say? I like to look accomplished even if I never feel it. How can I when I keep making a new list?

Truth is, I took this week off to get shit done. We have a building inspection on Friday and every year after the landlords come out for this I get a list of things I need to do better or differently. I’m prepared for it despite having cleaned for hours this week. Yesterday alone I vacuumed 4 flights of stairs and all the stairs/landings, wiped down all the banisters, dusted every apartment door (that’s 29 for those who are counting), swept the balconies of nasty cigarette ashes, cleaned out ashtrays, empty the laundry trash, dumped a bunch of pamphlets some asshat keeps dropping off in the foyer- all in 1 hour and 40 minutes. I was a sweaty mess at the end. And there is still more to do! Thankfully Mr. Darcy pitched in when he got home so the list is shorter. I’ve left wiping the entry doors down and the laundry room for last because people will totally mess it up if I do it in advance. My life, it is very glamorous.

Besides all that second job stuff, I’ve done some projects around the house- little fixes here and there- and a deeper cleaning since our cats keep shedding and sometimes when the fans are on full blast (because it’s finally hot in Seattle) I worry we might accidentally eat a furball that’s flying about. Ew. I’ve got errands to run today and then tomorrow, TOMORROW!, is my day of rest and play. I’m certain to suck at it but am going to give it my best effort. My best effort includes- dance class, massage, mani/pedi, a chick flick, and maybe Thai take out.

I have not missed work one iota all week. I thought I’d spend some time contemplating my next move but I feel like staying at the job for the time being is the right choice for me while I focus on getting my side business up and running. Why yes, I am still working on that. I am actually 95% sure I am signing up for an on-line course about starting your own business to kickstart my lackluster progress into action. I have lots of ideas and no movement behind them. Hopefully focusing on getting it up and running will give my work life that jolt of energy and creativity I am currently lacking.

 

**Happy ending to the iPhone debacle: I got a new iPhone 3G for $80 under a battery malfunction clause which holds me over until the 5 comes out. When it does Mr. Darcy will use my 3 and I will get the shiny new one. We all win!

Funk

I’m in a music funk and I need your help!

What’s your favorite song right now? Who is your most listened to artist of the moment? Why do you like it?

Don’t over-think it. Just slap it down in the comments.

Sizzleland Snippets

I’ve got some deeper stuff brewing but I’ll save that for when I’m not coming off a 3 day weekend, draggin’ my ass to work. Instead I give you snippets from Sizzleland:

  • I’ve been remembering my dreams (don’t worry I am not going to bore you with them!). It’s interesting to note that they have a recurring theme of ex–boyfriends. It’s like I am meeting up with them in my dreams to forgive them. I’m hoping this means good things.
  • Mr. Darcy and I have never been shitfaced together. We’ve discussed that we should probably do this at some point just to get it out of the way but neither of us are big boozers. It’s interesting to note that in my previous relationship we were drunk a lot together. It was practically the foundation of our union.
  • I’m not that into the 4th of July. It’s always overcast and dreary in Seattle making bbqing kind of ridiculous. This year I was in bed reading while the fireworks went off. (There’s a joke in there somewhere.) Side note: I do not like hot dogs.
  • I’ve returned to yoga and am loving it. Last night’s class though was full of twists and plank poses and LORDY I am feeling it today. But I like the sore feeling. Makes me think I accomplished something.  I drank two beers after class thus canceling out any calories I might have burned. D’oh!
  • I devoured my book club book this month. If you haven’t read The Help, what are you waiting for? It’s the kind of book with characters that play on in your head long after you’re done reading it. It’s almost like I miss them.
  • It’s finally going to look like summer in Seattle this week. Which means Seattleites will be wearing very little clothing and complaining about it being too hot by Thursday. Plus, every store that sells fans will run out of them by the weekend. We’re difficult to please.

Hope you all had a lovely long weekend.

Edible

Things I shouldn’t buy because inevitably they will spoil before ever eaten:

  • yogurt
  • eggplant
  • cottage cheese
  • cucumber
  • tomatoes

Things I shouldn’t buy because inevitably I will devour all of it and I shouldn’t:

  • chocolate
  • bread
  • beer

Things I always need to have on hand:

  • eggs
  • milk
  • tea
  • peanut butter
  • black beans
  • sharp cheddar cheese
  • spelt or brown rice tortillas
  • almonds
  • pistachios (Mr. Darcy is a fiend for them)
  • iced tea (again, Mr. Darcy’s drink of choice)

Things that make me feel not-so-good when I ingest them:

  • sugar
  • white flour
  • super spice
  • coffee

My Clothes Are NOT Edible

In the past week my cat Dot has eaten holes in:

  • a brand new pair of wool argyle socks that I had worn ONCE
  • a totally CUTE thrift store sweater that I’ve only worn three times
  • a hand-made blanket
  • a tank top
  • the hem of a dress

I thought I was hiding my clothes but apparently if you leave your weekend overnight bag unpacked and with the zipper partly open, a cat will climb in there and have a snack. If you toss your tank top on a chair overnight, you will wake up with a huge hole in it.

This cat is murder on my wardrobe.

I’m seriously concerned that she’s got yards of fabric stitched up in her belly.

Holding the Pose

I feel like I am a time waster lately. For a girl who prides herself on making and tackling her to do list(s), I have felt very scattered and out of focus. (And no, it’s not just because romance has entered my life.) I feel like I am on a treadmill. The thing about treadmills though is that you go and go and go and never actually GO anywhere.

I would like to find more time. And my motivation.

I can’t seem to get up and work out anymore. I just want to sleep. I can’t seem to make it to water aerobics. I have had meetings on class days or social invitations that sound better than putting on a suit. I can’t seem to find time to sit down and read my book. A book! How hard is that?! I can’t seem to cook a meal  that is anything to boast about in weeks. Throwing beans into a whole wheat tortilla with some cheese does not a gourmet meal make.

I’ll admit that work is getting me down. I won’t go into it but I feel a bit beaten by it and I’m questioning the future trajectory of my “career”. I’ve also felt really burnt out on the two job situation.  I am required to work too many hours in a day if I did everything that is expected of me and I just don’t want to. I get very little enjoyment or satisfaction from it. I don’t want to spend the precious hours in my day at a computer or parking my butt in an office chair just to prove I was working. I don’t want to work 40 hours at one job then 10-15 more at another. But I want to keep saving money to buy a house and paying down my debt so I can carry out my financial goals so I endure it.

Eyes on the prize.

But I wish that I could give what mattered most to me the time and attention it deserves. Like my health and my family and my friends and my creative outlets. All those things take a backseat to pushy obligations whose root origins are money and security.

Last night in yoga I struggled with a particular pose. It required me to have one leg bent back with the heel of my foot towards my back and my opposite arm outstretched with the other arm stretched to the floor, fingertips touching the mat. The teacher kept instructing us in her soothing yogi voice to visualize the leg lifting first then slowly lifting it- that would help us not teeter, that it would make us stronger in the pose. I tried three times and almost fell over. I was incredibly frustrated with myself and immediately the self-flagellation talk began. I hushed my inner critic and moved on to the next pose. But I was not 100% there. Part of me had checked out and I feel like I do that outside of class too. I check out and self-sabotage and let failure talk chatter on in my head especially when I am not successful on the first try. It is not productive but it is familiar.

I am way too much in my head right now. I’m glad I have therapy tonight. I just want to find out how to come from my center which, judging from my yoga class, means I’m going to have to falter a lot and keep practicing. And quiet my mind. And let go.

That was my theme for this year wasn’t it? I suppose I needed that reminder.

Randomization

Every time I am just about to get my hair cut people stop me and ask, “Did you do something different to your hair?’” Maybe it is because I start strategically styling it so that my gray hairs are camoflauged? Maybe it is because my hair has lightened in the eight weeks since I last colored it. Or maybe people are trying to tell me I should not cut my hair.

Regardless, I’m getting my hair cut & colored tomorrow. And you know how that fills me with glee. Glee! I tell you!

I’m sure no one will notice.

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You guys really like Bachelor #4. It’s almost as if you like LIKE him. Hey, that’s my department! At one point yesterday he emailed me to say, “94%? Just remember that next time I say something stupid.” He hardly ever says anything stupid. It’s like he wrote the book on “How To Make a Girl Swoon.” Wait until you hear the latest.

I’m saving that for its own blog post.

Teased ya!

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If anyone has seen my exercise mojo will you PLEASE send it back to me. I think I misplaced it. Or maybe I ran over it with my car.

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Reason #428 why I am friends with Kaply:

She says things like, “It’s because she is a cunt. You can’t help being judgy with cunts. It’s the nature of cuntdom.”

She recently noted that I had not included her in my characters page. I just assumed everyone knew who she was because, hello!, she is Kaply. Apparently not. And so, she is now listed. (You’re welcome!)

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I have not had enough sleep which is indicated by the bags under my eyes and my over-use of exclamation points in this post.

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File this under: Do me a solid.

It’s Weblog Awards time and a friend of mine is up for a Bloggie. Please vote for Valerie Atherton’s Playground and Intellectual Department for Best Entertainment Blog. And if you’re not reading her, get on that shit! Voting ends Sunday so pop on over now.

Seriously. Go! It’s not like you’re doing anything but reading blogs and avoiding work.